The pharse everything happens for a reason is the ulimate lack of empathy towards human suffering and depression

[FireFox]

Last year was the worst year of my life and every bad thing that happened to me people in my life told me all these terrible things I am going is for a "reason". I have finally grown to hate the pharse everything happens for a reason and people who use the pharse whenever someone is going through a hard time.

Life is too complex to narrow every bad event with a simplicitic "pharse of everything happens for a reason". Not everything has a cause or part of a bigger divine plan. We will never understand why an innocent 9 year old kid gets terminal cancer while some human beings are pure evil like Putin is allowed to live for so many years inflicting suffering to other people and the world, Putin will die as a president he will never be ousted. When it comes to families will never understand why some people get born into awesome families with loving relatives who help them and others like myself end up getting selfish emotionally abusive user relatives who love living off other relatives money and goodwill while treating the relatives who help them with no respect.

Right now I would have been in lectures and studying for my masters. It makes so angry at how my life last year starting to get on track again getting into that university and preparing months for that then at the last minute having to cancel those plans. I see women my age having careers, getting married and here is me at 26 with no man- still deeply heartbroken over the last guy who caused so much pain with his psychological mind games and lying, no career and nothing to show for my life. 2023 was the year everything kept going wrong in my life. I went from having the best year of my life in 2022 then 2023 it all goes wrong so rapidly.

The pharse Everything happens for a reason is the ulimate lack of care for human suffering because when I was at my lowest point in my life where I needed comfort and help nobody listened and told me all this I am going through is for a "reason". Over and over again my family and other people kept telling me everything happens for a reason. I felt even more alone hearing the pharse and by the end of the year I was seriously considering killing myself in my living room because of everything I went through in 2023 and I finally reached a point where I was ready to catch the bus.

Everything happens for a reason is bullsh*t. If I killed myself today successfully would the same people be saying everything happens for a reason and its part of God's Plan? I highly doubt it.

 

[TopChicken]

Ive also always hated that phrase. Unfortunately, a lot of people really need to believe that, bc of it isn't true, they would break. Their life would have no meaning and they would have to grapple with that. A lot might not make it through to the otherside.

 

[Passersby]

That saying has always really aggravated me too. It's a complete cop out, and a way to downplay our suffering when someone doesn't have the answer. I know they might mean well but I still don't like it. Anyone who has any sense will know that not everything happens for a reason.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

It is indeed one of the most annoying, cliche and corny things that can come out of a person's mouth. Of course everything happens for a reason. The REASON we are all here suffering is because some stupid nematode decided to jump out of the water a half a billion years ago. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and stomp on that thing.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

If "everything happened for a reason", life would be really unreasonable; in a perfect world, suffering wouldn't exist, nothing would be worth living or dying for. Fact is, we're all accidents waiting to happen - its only a matter of time.

 

[FireFox]

That saying has always really aggravated me too. It's a complete cop out, and a way to downplay our suffering when someone doesn't have the answer. I know they might mean well but I still don't like it. Anyone who has any sense will know that not everything happens for a reason.

@Passersby If people want to believe everything happens for a reason I respect thier choice but I wish people stop saying this harmful and false view on others going through a hard time.
If people have absolutely nothing sensible or useful to help someone going through a hardtime then they need to STFU , i rather they STFU than say this irritating pharae which brings no comfort whatsoever.

Constantly being told by family everything happens for a reason when I was going through the worst year of my life has been absolutely annoying.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate that saying too. They always use it in the most infuriating way possible

 

[Rogue Proxy]

It is indeed one of the most annoying, cliche and corny things that can come out of a person's mouth. Of course everything happens for a reason. The REASON we are all here suffering is because some stupid nematode decided to jump out of the water a half a billion years ago. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and stomp on that thing.

I would like to go further back and destroy all traces of DNA and RNA.

 

[wait.what]

Whenever I hear that "reason" line I feel an urge to stomp on the speaker's toe and say, "There's a reason I did that."

Ever notice that it's always the actions of exploiters and abusers that get handwaved away with the "reason defense?" If a mugger shoots you in the back and you're in the hospital for 6 months, relearning how to walk, that "happens for a reason" and is "all part of God's plan." If you get drugged, date raped, and pregnant, that "happens for a reason" and is "all part of God's plan." If you drink yourself into a coma trying to cope, or intentionally take a header off a 50 story building because you just cannot take any more, that does not "happen for a reason," and is not "all part of God's plan." You're just an asshole.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I have friends who buy into this. Maybe because it helps them, they think it will help us. If I'm honest, I've even used it on myself in the past and weirdly- in some cases, it 'could' be true.

Something that was utterly devastating for me that effectively ended one 'career' for me did actually set me on another career path that I became more successful in. At the time though, it felt like my world had ended. I was a little older than you. Maybe 27. But- that's the benefit of hindsight. You kind of need to be older (in my opinion) to know whether those things ended up steering you onto a different path. Plus- you have to still be looking for other paths. But of course- that could be said of anyone of any age. None of us really know where bad things way ahead of us may lead us eventually. But of course- being pro-choice, I believe it's reasonable to decide we've had enough and don't want to find out!

But- I agree- it doesn't necessarily mean it will be a better outcome. That idea I find more ridiculous. That- not only are we being guided some place. It will be some place good! Sometimes I wonder- what if we're being pushed to suicide? What if that's the reason?!!

Do you ever tell your family you don't believe in it? I've got to a point where I just tend to say outright when phrases or platitudes don't help me. Like- I'll thank them but say- I don't really believe in that and I don't find it helps me to think like that. Maybe that will stop them using it in the future.