Venting Depressed even though I'm in a relationship.

[smudge_0404]

I'm currently in my first relationship ever in my life, but i'm not in the best place mentally and i dont know what to do. Even though I love them, I still have thoughts of hurting and ending myself. I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about any of this as my life is currently supposed to be looking up. I'm almost done with school and it's not like i'm currently struggling with anything, like grades or bullying. I can't seem to find a reason for why i'm feeling absolutely exhausted and depressed and I feel like I'm overwhelming him with it, with not knowing how to put an end to it and not getting better in the time he's known me. I don't necessarily feel like a bad girlfriend, but just not the best one. I'm not sure if it's smart for me to in a relationship when I'm currently not in the best place mentally, but he does genuinely make me happy when i'm with him, but that's also it. So I guess i just don't know what to do.

 

[Thisiscertainlyause]

An annoying part about depression is that sometimes it just hits us, whether its for no reason, or a reason we don't realise, it can just come out of nowhere and begin hurting, it might be worth talking to a doctor about it if you feel comfortable! but don't beat yourself up over it, and while I don't know how the relationship with your partner is, I can say generally the people closest to you want to be there and to help in anyway they can, if you feel like it's affecting your relationship though, try to talk with him about it, and ask how he feels, it's the only way to truly know(easier said than done, but it's important). In regards to being in a relationship while you're not doing well, the way I've heard it be put is that, we are all growing constantly, if you wait till you're perfect to have a relationship you'll be waiting forever, as long as your partner is okay with it, it's fine to grow and progress with them :). I wish you the best and hope this helps in some way!