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redsnowflakes

Member
Dec 8, 2020
18
Hello!

I was wondering, what your day schedule is. My life is pretty normal. I go to school, have an internship at a daycare. I have a bad life since I was 9. I am 24 now. Now I study, but I still want to die. I do normal things like 'healthy' persons, but still depressed. Just wondering how your day looks like!
 
Q

quicksand

Member
Jan 19, 2021
23
I've woken up every day for the past fortnight with the aim to continue reading Robinson Crusoe for my degree, but it's pretty torturous. The writing side of my course is far more interesting, so the little energy I find during the day goes towards that.

Nights are still dreadful. I stay up for hours longer than I should do just aimlessly writing or watching or browsing so that I'm too exhausted to even think once my head hits the pillow.
 
tra

tra

Member
Nov 26, 2018
13
I wake up shortly before work at 10 am after I spent the night not being able to sleep. Then I work from home at a draining, shitty and lowly paid job in front a computer for eight hours. During my one-hour lunch break, I go out for a brief walk, buy my daily 10€ small pack of cigarettes at the tabac store and go to the supermarket if I need anything. After work it is already 6 pm and I am not allowed to leave my small shitty apartment thanks to the lockdown. So I just waste my time on the phone or computer because I am too depressed to do anything else.

I never thought that I would be working an office-type 9-5 job and spend my evenings mindlessly scrolling on my phone. It is my ultimate horror but I can not escape this situation right now. I am praying for the pandemic to end soon because it so hard to not be hopeless right now.
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,796
Depending if I'm working or not. If not I wake at 9am sharp, have a double espresso in hand, and take my anti depression medication. Try to go for long drives , because I do t like to walk much, I already do that at work. Then the mid afternoons are the worse to me. Usually become depressed a bit so come to SS for some company. Then the sun goes down and that is my favourite part. By 9pm I'm usually getting ready to sleep but always with white sounds on my laptop to fall asleep. Pretty boring I know, when my bf comes around I had to pretend I,m great and that all is great. So pretty boring my life.
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Depending if I'm working or not. If not I wake at 9am sharp, have a double espresso in hand, and take my anti depression medication. Try to go for long drives , because I do t like to walk much, I already do that at work. Then the mid afternoons are the worse to me. Usually become depressed a bit so come to SS for some company. Then the sun goes down and that is my favourite part. By 9pm I'm usually getting ready to sleep but always with white sounds on my laptop to fall asleep. Pretty boring I know, when my bf comes around I had to pretend I,m great and that all is great. So pretty boring my life.

If you can lose the double espresso, it might completely resolve your insomnia.
 
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Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Even the 9am ones? It's the only caffeine I take the rest is all decaf.
I'm a life long, heavy, heavy abuser of caffeine. I've researched extensively on the topic, and I've concluded that I've altered my brain from it, and I understand the theoretical (?) mechanisms involving brain chemistry and caffeine abuse. It falls under the same concepts of a heavy user of illegal stimulants.

In my case, I've never ever had a manic episode without some caffeine in my system. I've "quit" caffeine (coffee) over two dozen times for up to six months at a time without ever experiencing a manic episode, during those times.

However, no caffeine/coffee crushes me psychologically. I don't go through any withdrawal, but it messes up my brain chemistry. (No caffeine enhances my dysthymia, social anxiety, and fibromyalgia).

My well educated guess and current understanding is I'm experiencing a stimulant addiction readjustment within my brain. Some of my brain chemicals are (theoretically?) readjusting, including adenosine and dopamine. I've read it takes a year for the dopamine to readjust for heavy abusers of stimulants, and even then the dopamine production never goes back to normal.

All of my research into my experience lead to the discovery of someone else who had horrible psychological reactions to coffee. This individual published a book called "Welcome to the Dance". The moral is this woman was institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I seem to remember she was locked up for a couple of decades. In any event, a new psychiatrist noticed how much coffee this woman was drinking within the institution, and he told the staff to completely cut her off all coffee. She fully recovered, went off her meds, was released from the institution; and, she lost her diagnosis of schizophrenia. Once released from the institution, she had to do 12 Steps to kick her coffee addiction.

I've got something similar going on, but for me it's bipolar tied into coffee; it triggers my mania. And, currently, I'm three months back on decaff after my last manic episode involving caffeine.

Sheri, if you can hack it, get off all coffee and see if you can resolve some or all of your issues. It might resolve your insomnia and your depression. Baby step if you have to. Maybe, mix in one shot of decaff along with one shot regular for your espresso, and work down from there.

I read that with Starbucks that its decaff has 1/15 the caffeine of regular coffee, and I sometimes react to decaff, as well. So, if I don't CTB soon, then ultimately I will try again to cut out decaff as well.
 
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stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
I wake up pretty early (5 am) and make myself a tea or coffee first thing in the morning.
Then I usually take an hour or so to scroll through the internet on my phone (and ss lol).
Then I get myself dressed and ready (nowadays not that much anymore because of home office).
I work at my laptop until 12 pm while simultaneously still being on the internet or playing a mobile game (haha).
I have some sort of snack throughout the morning followed by lunch.
Then I return to work (with more difficult tasks and no private internet most days) until 3-4 pm.
After work I immediately leave my flat to either walk a bit or visit my family.
Sometimes I go food shopping too.
When I return I cook, organize and settle down for the night.
Sometimes I read, sometimes I listen to music.
The rest of the night I spend either on YouTube/Netflix or here.
Repeat.
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,796
I'm a life long, heavy, heavy abuser of caffeine. I've researched extensively on the topic, and I've concluded that I've altered my brain from it, and I understand the theoretical (?) mechanisms involving brain chemistry and caffeine abuse. It falls under the same concepts of a heavy user of illegal stimulants.

In my case, I've never ever had a manic episode without some caffeine in my system. I've "quit" caffeine (coffee) over two dozen times for up to six months at a time without ever experiencing a manic episode, during those times.

However, no caffeine/coffee crushes me psychologically. I don't go through any withdrawal, but it messes up my brain chemistry. (No caffeine enhances my dysthymia, social anxiety, and fibromyalgia).

My well educated guess and current understanding is I'm experiencing a stimulant addiction readjustment within my brain. Some of my brain chemicals are (theoretically?) readjusting, including adenosine and dopamine. I've read it takes a year for the dopamine to readjust for heavy abusers of stimulants, and even then the dopamine production never goes back to normal.

All of my research into my experience lead to the discovery of someone else who had horrible psychological reactions to coffee. This individual published a book called "Welcome to the Dance". The moral is this woman was institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I seem to remember she was locked up for a couple of decades. In any event, a new psychiatrist noticed how much coffee this woman was drinking within the institution, and he told the staff to completely cut her off all coffee. She fully recovered, went off her meds, was released from the institution; and, she lost her diagnosis of schizophrenia. Once released from the institution, she had to do 12 Steps to kick her coffee addiction.

I've got something similar going on, but for me it's bipolar tied into coffee; it triggers my mania. And, currently, I'm three months back on decaff after my last manic episode involving caffeine.

Sheri, if you can hack it, get off all coffee and see if you can resolve some or all of your issues. It might resolve your insomnia and your depression. Baby step if you have to. Maybe, mix in one shot of decaff along with one shot regular for your espresso, and work down from there.

I read that with Starbucks that its decaff has 1/15 the caffeine of regular coffee, and I sometimes react to decaff, as well. So, if I don't CTB soon, then ultimately I will try again to cut out decaff as well.
Read every word you wrote, so tomorrow I will do that. One regular one decaf. The issue is that the decaf pods I have are from Starbucks and you said that they weren't good. So should I still mix regular with Starbucks decaf?
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I'm a life long, heavy, heavy abuser of caffeine. I've researched extensively on the topic, and I've concluded that I've altered my brain from it, and I understand the theoretical (?) mechanisms involving brain chemistry and caffeine abuse. It falls under the same concepts of a heavy user of illegal stimulants.

[...]
Fascinating insights. I'm a tea drinker so I've never had these problems, but I currently live in a heavily coffee-abusing country and people here are jumpy as hell to say the least. When I say that I don't drink coffee they look at me like I'm claiming that I don't breathe. Strange times.
 
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Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Read every word you wrote, so tomorrow I will do that. One regular one decaf. The issue is that the decaf pods I have are from Starbucks and you said that they weren't good. So should I still mix regular with Starbucks decaf?
I would try what your proposing. The Starbucks reference was used exclusively because it was the only reference I could find, about a decade ago, regarding caffeine levels in decaff. I would imagine that most all coffee brands have the same approximate levels of caffeine in its decaff, but this is only an assumption, and I've never bothered to look back into the topic over the years.
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,796
I would try what your proposing. The Starbucks reference was used exclusively because it was the only reference I could find, about a decade ago, regarding caffeine levels in decaff. I would imagine that most all coffee brands have the same approximate levels of caffeine in its decaff, but this is only an assumption, and I've never bothered to look back into the topic over the years.
Regardless, thank you so much, it do my mixed coffee tomorrow. Then figure out what to do what the 3 decaf I drink in the afternoon. A big high.
 
LooksAtMoonDog

LooksAtMoonDog

Too Long in the Wasteland
Nov 10, 2020
719
I'm retired. I usually wake up at 10AM, sad that I didn't die in my sleep and disappointed that I left my lovely dreams. Make my first mug of green tea and check my email. I used to go on FB but have dropped that because of the politics and stupid people. Go to my plant room, turn on the lights and take care of my plants, I grow herbs and peppers indoors during the winter, and start seeds for my spring garden. Then I take a piss and have my second mug of green tea and eat breakfast, usually oatmeal and blueberries.

After breakfast I usually meditate, then start playing on my computer. Check out reddit, but only subs related to my hobbies and tech, because the politics and general hive-mind on reddit are toxic. Check out SS and a couple other forums. Work on organizing or enlarging my data horde [10.5TB of movies, ebooks, and audiobooks thus far]. Maybe work on learning new computer-based skills, currently learning Lightworks so I can make videos no one will ever see. When I get tired of this, get eyestrain -if there is no one around where I live go outside for some fresh air, look at birds.

Where I'm at Covid is still raging, I'm in a high-risk group and no vaccine yet, so I won't be going out anywhere. Not a problem though because I like my own company and don't get lonely. Only leave my place on Sunday to pick up groceries, because stores are less crowded then, come home and do meal-prep [WFPB] for the rest of the week.

I also generally read a lot, tech stuff and [currently] weird fiction - like Ryu Murakami. Mostly read for the rest of the day or jump back on computer, continue drinking lots of green tea. Around 7-8PM eat my second meal of the day, and generally watch something on Prime TV or Netflix [The Expanse, Sanctuary, Trailer Park Boys].

Read until around 2AM, then start getting ready to sleep. Fall asleep listening to an audiobook on my tablet because I have severe tinnitus and that's the only way I can distract myself from it.

Repeat the next day...
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Fascinating insights. I'm a tea drinker so I've never had these problems, but I currently live in a heavily coffee-abusing country and people here are jumpy as hell to say the least. When I say that I don't drink coffee they look at me like I'm claiming that I don't breathe. Strange times.
My understanding is that some teas, like green and black, have high levels of caffeine. My recollection is that only the herbal teas are caffeine free?

When I was really bad with my bipolar, and heavily messed up on coffee (seemingly, I was running mixed state), my psychiatrist had me attending a wellness center, for those with mental illness. Here I noticed that those with schizophrenia were heavy users of coffee and cigarettes. I understand the self medication with tabacco, as I was a heavy abuser of cigars (smoked deeply) for just over a decade. But, I wonder if these individuals at the wellness center were triggering some, or all, of their symptoms with the extreme levels of coffee being consumed. My guess is "yes".

I would highly recommend anyone on here with either bipolar or schizophrenia try to get 100% off all caffeine, including decaff (which has caffeine) and see how one's symptoms respond.

Nothing is random. There has to be cause and effect. I've spent over a decade researching and experimenting on myself. Through mindfulness and trial and error, I've figured out most or all of my triggers for my bipolar, and many other physical health issues.
 
D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
My understanding is that some teas, like green and black, have high levels of caffeine. My recollection is that only the herbal teas are caffeine free?

When I was really bad with my bipolar, and heavily messed up on coffee (seemingly, I was running mixed state), my psychiatrist had me attending a wellness center, for those with mental illness. Here I noticed that those with schizophrenia were heavy users of coffee and cigarettes. I understand the self medication with tabacco, as I was a heavy abuser of cigars (smoked deeply) for just over a decade. But, I wonder if these individuals at the wellness center were triggering some, or all, of their symptoms with the extreme levels of coffee being consumed. My guess is "yes".

I would highly recommend anyone on here with either bipolar or schizophrenia try to get 100% off all caffeine, including decaff (which has caffeine) and see how one's symptoms respond.

Nothing is random. There has to be cause and effect. I've spent over a decade researching and experimenting on myself. Through mindfulness and trial and error, I've figured out most or all of my triggers for my bipolar, and many other physical health issues.
I need to get off coffee Chupa. Its so damn hard though:/ Bloody herbal teas just don't cut it. Note to self: try harder.
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
A cup of green tea (which is what I drink, don't know about black tea) has about 1/5 the caffeine of a cup of coffee. Something to try?
I've read the average American gets the bulk of their antioxidants from coffee. Given that the average American eats like crap and eats SAD (standard American diet), it's not too surprising.

Green tea has superior antioxidants versus coffee. Not to mention that coffee has acrylamide (developed through the roasting process), which is known to cause cancer. Coffee shops in California now have warnings posted by state law regarding the acrylamide/cancer issue.
 
Last edited:
DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,739
i have nearly no schedule and no rhythm at all.

my sleep and awake times vary a lot. in general it's a bit more of a 26 hour rhythm. but within it also varies. sometimes i sleep 14 hours a day then 7 hours. also awake times vary from between 14 and 20 hours with peaks to 24 hours.

the only constant routine is the morning. drinking some apple vinegar which helps to reduce my migraine headaches. making some black tea and lately also some damiana tea which seems to help against my anxiety. also nearly every morning i eat some raw carrots.
since registering here i spend some time at the start of my day reading and writing.

after that it varies. sometimes i just surf and read. sometimes i work on some graphics or programming. if the flow is good, this can then sometimes go for the rest of the day. sometimes binge watching series/movies all day long. since registering here i also spend a lot of time with writing or talking with others.
some days i cook something - mainly stuff which i can then eat for two or three days. sometimes i get some health food take away stuff. some days i don't eat anything at all or only some nuts.

cause i live a very reduced life and work only freelance, the time i make classic work for money is reduced to 2-4 months a year. this times are then often pretty intense with 60-70 hours a week.

but by growing older i now have the ambition to establish a 24h sleep schedule cause it's more and more exhausting - especially in warmer times of the year when nature is more active. this has just too much impact on the depth of my sleep when i sleep during the day.
 
Isisnefert

Isisnefert

Student
Mar 17, 2020
193
I'm a life long, heavy, heavy abuser of caffeine. I've researched extensively on the topic, and I've concluded that I've altered my brain from it, and I understand the theoretical (?) mechanisms involving brain chemistry and caffeine abuse. It falls under the same concepts of a heavy user of illegal stimulants.

In my case, I've never ever had a manic episode without some caffeine in my system. I've "quit" caffeine (coffee) over two dozen times for up to six months at a time without ever experiencing a manic episode, during those times.

However, no caffeine/coffee crushes me psychologically. I don't go through any withdrawal, but it messes up my brain chemistry. (No caffeine enhances my dysthymia, social anxiety, and fibromyalgia).

My well educated guess and current understanding is I'm experiencing a stimulant addiction readjustment within my brain. Some of my brain chemicals are (theoretically?) readjusting, including adenosine and dopamine. I've read it takes a year for the dopamine to readjust for heavy abusers of stimulants, and even then the dopamine production never goes back to normal.

All of my research into my experience lead to the discovery of someone else who had horrible psychological reactions to coffee. This individual published a book called "Welcome to the Dance". The moral is this woman was institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I seem to remember she was locked up for a couple of decades. In any event, a new psychiatrist noticed how much coffee this woman was drinking within the institution, and he told the staff to completely cut her off all coffee. She fully recovered, went off her meds, was released from the institution; and, she lost her diagnosis of schizophrenia. Once released from the institution, she had to do 12 Steps to kick her coffee addiction.

Tengo algo similar, pero para mí es bipolar ligado al café; desencadena mi manía. Y, actualmente, estoy tres meses atrás con descafeinado después de mi último episodio maníaco con cafeína.

Sheri, si puedes hackearlo, deja todo el café y mira si puedes resolver algunos o todos tus problemas. Podría resolver su insomnio y su depresión. Paso de bebé si es necesario. Tal vez, mezcle un trago de descafeinado junto con un trago regular para su espresso, y trabaje desde allí.

Leí con Starbucks que su descafeinado tiene 1/15 de la cafeína del café normal y, a veces, también reacciono al descafeinado. Entonces, si no tomo CTB pronto, finalmente intentaré nuevamente cortar el descafeinado también.
Me parece verdaderamente interesante los datos que aportas sobre el consumo de cafeína, padezco fatiga Crónica y además tomo medicación por lo que suelo consumir complementos alimenticios con cafeína para empezar mi día y poder levantarme, el problema es que la cafeína en ocasiones me produce taquicardias y ataques de pánico
 
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Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
Me parece verdaderamente interesante los datos que aportas sobre el consumo de cafeína, padezco fatiga Crónica y además tomo medicación por lo que suelo consumir complementos alimenticios con cafeína para empezar mi día y poder levantarme, el problema es que la cafeína en ocasiones me produce taquicardias y ataques de pánico

Taquicardias y ataques de panico no es bueno. Cafeina es muy mal.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,431
I'm a life long, heavy, heavy abuser of caffeine. I've researched extensively on the topic, and I've concluded that I've altered my brain from it, and I understand the theoretical (?) mechanisms involving brain chemistry and caffeine abuse. It falls under the same concepts of a heavy user of illegal stimulants.

In my case, I've never ever had a manic episode without some caffeine in my system. I've "quit" caffeine (coffee) over two dozen times for up to six months at a time without ever experiencing a manic episode, during those times.

However, no caffeine/coffee crushes me psychologically. I don't go through any withdrawal, but it messes up my brain chemistry. (No caffeine enhances my dysthymia, social anxiety, and fibromyalgia).

My well educated guess and current understanding is I'm experiencing a stimulant addiction readjustment within my brain. Some of my brain chemicals are (theoretically?) readjusting, including adenosine and dopamine. I've read it takes a year for the dopamine to readjust for heavy abusers of stimulants, and even then the dopamine production never goes back to normal.

All of my research into my experience lead to the discovery of someone else who had horrible psychological reactions to coffee. This individual published a book called "Welcome to the Dance". The moral is this woman was institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I seem to remember she was locked up for a couple of decades. In any event, a new psychiatrist noticed how much coffee this woman was drinking within the institution, and he told the staff to completely cut her off all coffee. She fully recovered, went off her meds, was released from the institution; and, she lost her diagnosis of schizophrenia. Once released from the institution, she had to do 12 Steps to kick her coffee addiction.

I've got something similar going on, but for me it's bipolar tied into coffee; it triggers my mania. And, currently, I'm three months back on decaff after my last manic episode involving caffeine.

Sheri, if you can hack it, get off all coffee and see if you can resolve some or all of your issues. It might resolve your insomnia and your depression. Baby step if you have to. Maybe, mix in one shot of decaff along with one shot regular for your espresso, and work down from there.

I read that with Starbucks that its decaff has 1/15 the caffeine of regular coffee, and I sometimes react to decaff, as well. So, if I don't CTB soon, then ultimately I will try again to cut out decaff as well.

It's really interesting. For me, it is the positive - coffee gives me a bit of a mood boost. The fruit of the coffee -the coffee fruit - has also got anti-depressant properties. The main thing I like with coffee is it helps my digestion. That is why I like it and the taste, but other than that it doesn't make me more energetic etc. I think I have a weird brain! Many drugs don't work on me - I am lucky that a few do.
 
Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
657
I have no routine right now. It all depends on my insomnia. At the moment I am in full blown episode of it so my life is on hold until my GP signs off a prescription for Clonzepam from my Psychiatrist which should have been today.

A day when I have slept I will wake up around 9-10. Have a black coffee or tea, spend my entire day trying not to eat anything and drinking 4 litres of water. I try to walk 10-20,000 steps a day and absolutely hate myself if don't.

I read or spend time on my hobby, make an evening meal, purge evening meal if it was bigger than I'd like and then watch some TV until 10pm when I go to bed. There I will either sleep or visit SS/YouTube or research things I'm interested in.

At the moment I am only able to live one day at a time and try to get through that.
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,976
C30ad4deb8a7c6cbbbdfe06c99c97b43
I have no routine right now. It all depends on my insomnia. At the moment I am in full blown episode of it so my life is on hold until my GP signs off a prescription for Clonzepam from my Psychiatrist which should have been today.

A day when I have slept I will wake up around 9-10. Have a black coffee or tea, spend my entire day trying not to eat anything and drinking 4 litres of water. I try to walk 10-20,000 steps a day and absolutely hate myself if don't.

I read or spend time on my hobby, make an evening meal, purge evening meal if it was bigger than I'd like and then watch some TV until 10pm when I go to bed. There I will either sleep or visit SS/YouTube or research things I'm interested in.

At the moment I am only able to live one day at a time and try to get through that.
Emily_Numb, l've been prescribed clonazepam for just over 2 year's and the 1st time you take them they will give you a good night's sleep,the 2nd night they'll give you Nothing at all that's because your body develope's tolerance very quickly,l've found that if you take a 2mg Monday night you can't take another until Thursday night so now l take mine(l get 14 tablets a week(2mg-each) that's the highest dose they do on Wednesday and Saturday nights a hour before I go to bed! If you use them correctly you'll get at least 2 nights of good sleep a week, 5mg yellow Valium would be better but you've more chance of winning the lottery 3 tickets in a row than getting prescribed those! Good luck, p.s l've found that CBD oil does a better job of managing anxiety than clonazepam but can be expensive, but if you go to a site called Access CBD you can get a 30ml bottle with a spray top for £30 in various strengths, l've got 3 2400mg in the cupboard now! You can get natural flavour,citrus flavour and Berry flavour,l buy the berry flavour! l Hope some of this helps, l'd recommend starting with the 600mg then goto the stronger strengths once you get used to it, 1 pipette of CBD under your tougue is the best way to take the oil and the anxiety away for 6/8 hour's.
 
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