I have a death date.

[ajrosemary]

I'm going to do it on 4/20/2024

It's 3 days away. This is a once or nothing type of day. I have 4 reasons why that day.

My first is that it's four days before my birthday. I was born on April 24.
My second is that 4 has been like my favorite number ever since I was a kid.
And my last is that the date is the same forwards and backwards. 4202024. Like come on, that's pretty cool.

Also… its a funny day to die on.

On that day, my friends will all be at this party, my family will be gone. I don't know where it'll happen or what my method is, but it has to happen. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have started preparing. It's a tight deadline so I can't do everything, but I am writing my notes, I'm planning a schedule.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that. I'm not afraid of the afterlife anymore. I'm actually excited to do this. I'll finally be at peace. I'm pretty content with everything I've done. Well, I wish I could have done a lot more with my life. It's a shame I'll miss movies that I'll never get to see, and that I'd never had my first kiss, but I suppose it'll be fine.
I've made friends that I love dearly. I just feel really bad that I'll upset them soon… But I think they'll get over it quickly.

This is actually going to happen. Holy shit.

I'm going to do it on 4/20/2024

It's 3 days away. This is a once or nothing type of day. I have 4 reasons why that day.

My first is that it's four days before my birthday. I was born on April 24.
My second is that 4 has been like my favorite number ever since I was a kid.
And my last is that the date is the same forwards and backwards. 4202024. Like come on, that's pretty cool.

Also… its a funny day to die on.

On that day, my friends will all be at this party, my family will be gone. I don't know where it'll happen or what my method is, but it has to happen. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have started preparing. It's a tight deadline so I can't do everything, but I am writing my notes, I'm planning a schedule.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that. I'm not afraid of the afterlife anymore. I'm actually excited to do this. I'll finally be at peace. I'm pretty content with everything I've done. Well, I wish I could have done a lot more with my life. It's a shame I'll miss movies that I'll never get to see, and that I'd never had my first kiss, but I suppose it'll be fine.
I've made friends that I love dearly. I just feel really bad that I'll upset them soon… But I think they'll get over it quickly.

This is actually going to happen. Holy shit.

In all seriousness though, I do know I'm acting a bit more immature than I should be about this subject, but I genuinely don't know how else to think about this. I'm sure I'll get emotional about this soon. As of right now, I'm just happy.

 

[Orangee]

Aww, I'm happy you have made a decision and feel excited about it. If you ever feel uncertain about your decision, know that you can always back out, make sure that you are 100% set on ctb. With that out of the way, I hope you find peace and godspeed to you. Keep us updated ^^

 

[february in alaska]

Sounds like I'll be one day ahead of you! Do you have any ideas for the method? It's not a lot of time to work with but make sure you know what you're doing so you're not just causing yourself unnecessary pain. Best of luck with whatever you decide, I'm glad you seem at peace

 

[Endlichkeit]

This day is also Hitler's birthday.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you the best. May you find peace.

 

[ajrosemary]

This day is also Hitler's birthday.

I'll try not to think ab that lmao

Aww, I'm happy you have made a decision and feel excited about it. If you ever feel uncertain about your decision, know that you can always back out, make sure that you are 100% set on ctb. With that out of the way, I hope you find peace and godspeed to you. Keep us updated ^^

Will do! Thank you!

Sounds like I'll be one day ahead of you! Do you have any ideas for the method? It's not a lot of time to work with but make sure you know what you're doing so you're not just causing yourself unnecessary pain. Best of luck with whatever you decide, I'm glad you seem at peace

I know there are guns in the safe. I just have to find the keys but I think I know where they are. It's either that or I'll have to find something else…!

 

[pinkydrinky]

I'm going to do it on 4/20/2024

It's 3 days away. This is a once or nothing type of day. I have 4 reasons why that day.

My first is that it's four days before my birthday. I was born on April 24.
My second is that 4 has been like my favorite number ever since I was a kid.
And my last is that the date is the same forwards and backwards. 4202024. Like come on, that's pretty cool.

Also… its a funny day to die on.

On that day, my friends will all be at this party, my family will be gone. I don't know where it'll happen or what my method is, but it has to happen. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have started preparing. It's a tight deadline so I can't do everything, but I am writing my notes, I'm planning a schedule.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that. I'm not afraid of the afterlife anymore. I'm actually excited to do this. I'll finally be at peace. I'm pretty content with everything I've done. Well, I wish I could have done a lot more with my life. It's a shame I'll miss movies that I'll never get to see, and that I'd never had my first kiss, but I suppose it'll be fine.
I've made friends that I love dearly. I just feel really bad that I'll upset them soon… But I think they'll get over it quickly.

This is actually going to happen. Holy shit.

In all seriousness though, I do know I'm acting a bit more immature than I should be about this subject, but I genuinely don't know how else to think about this. I'm sure I'll get emotional about this soon. As of right now, I'm just happy.

im so happy for you! my date is june 18th and i know how much relief and happiness i felt went i came to that conclusive date!! i wish you the best in the afterlife (if you believe in one), movies and kisses are overrating anyway

 

[AllMyDreams]

4 was my favorite number as a kid too. I would count things by 4s all the time.

I could be wrong but you sound like you're in high school? I believe everyone has the right to decide to CTB or not… that being said especially if you are younger I would personally only take this step if you have already sought some kind of help unsuccessfully. The brain is still rapidly growing at that age and a lot could change.

What are your reasons for wanting to CTB?

 

[fiftyfiftyclown]

Same here. It's also close to my birthday, and the anniversary date of an abortion that I regret. i was convinced by my partner but i don't blame him, he didn't force me. Same as user above I won't try to give you the shpiel but if you're still a teenager, I really don't think you should give up yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[billie]

I hope you find the peace you are looking for

 

[Dark Window]

I'm going to do it on 4/20/2024

It's 3 days away. This is a once or nothing type of day. I have 4 reasons why that day.

My first is that it's four days before my birthday. I was born on April 24.
My second is that 4 has been like my favorite number ever since I was a kid.
And my last is that the date is the same forwards and backwards. 4202024. Like come on, that's pretty cool.

Also… its a funny day to die on.

On that day, my friends will all be at this party, my family will be gone. I don't know where it'll happen or what my method is, but it has to happen. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have started preparing. It's a tight deadline so I can't do everything, but I am writing my notes, I'm planning a schedule.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that. I'm not afraid of the afterlife anymore. I'm actually excited to do this. I'll finally be at peace. I'm pretty content with everything I've done. Well, I wish I could have done a lot more with my life. It's a shame I'll miss movies that I'll never get to see, and that I'd never had my first kiss, but I suppose it'll be fine.
I've made friends that I love dearly. I just feel really bad that I'll upset them soon… But I think they'll get over it quickly.

This is actually going to happen. Holy shit.

In all seriousness though, I do know I'm acting a bit more immature than I should be about this subject, but I genuinely don't know how else to think about this. I'm sure I'll get emotional about this soon. As of right now, I'm just happy.

It sounds more that you like the idea of your suffering coming to an end, but than wanting death. Understandable, but I think you need to think through your reasons for CTBing on that day.

I highly doubt you'll go through with it. You don't even have a method so you haven't prepared properly which usuallly ends in disaster.

 

[rozeske]

Am sorry for your sufferings. Don't worry about sounding immature for feeling happy. It's a common feeling towards the decision of ending your pain. Make sure to not give yourself an unnecessary additional pain and suffering with a rushed or poorly planned attempt. Take your time to think it through and to make sure this really is what you want. This also will save you from last minute regrate where you are unable to back out or mess up. I wish you all the best