Ctb TODAY

[Medicopter1177]

Its a rare opportunity that i have this 19th stage

I see, but you also have the rare oportunity of life which you said you like. 19th stage buildings will not disappear, if you decide to live today. But if you jump, there will be no oportunity for you to bring the life back. Not even rare.

 

[Gonnerr]

Bonjour, les suicides sont rarement couvert ici mais 2e cette année par défenestration. Le premier étais du 12e étage et celui ci plus bas. Ton hauteur est amplement suffisante mais as tu considérer le suicide par monoxide de carbone, beaucoup moins stressant et tu peux écouter de la musique pendant le grand départ.

https://www.journaldequebec.com/2023/06/13/une-chute-du-7e-etage-a-lhotel-dieu-de-levis

 

[leavingsoon99]

If you DO decide to go through with it, I wish you a quick transition and the peace you seek.

 

[cami]

hey lovely. i can feel your despair through the screen and i just want to urge you to please not jump. i know you're suffering but there is hope. we on SS love you and will miss you dearly, and your family will miss you too. please stay.

 

[lonely man]

What happened? Any updates? I wish you luck bro. Jumping is tough for me.

 

[luci_lived]

I am hoping for an update. I feel like maybe you weren't ready, but if you were, I hope it was an easy transition.

 

[watchingthebuses]

I hope you're doing better, I agree jumping requires such courage to do as a means to ctb, it would kick your SI to overdrive. Not many can choose this way, please don't feel ashamed for being unable to do so. There will always be time to try again if you still feel the need. Wishing you some peace wherever you are.

 

[Defenestration]

I am here. I did not jump.
I think i like again life...

 

[lonely man]

Good for you. Rest for a while without any thoughts. You must be very stressed.
How you feeling?

 

[Defenestration]

Need to sleep.thanks

 

[SpiderLink]

Night less people

Oh I thought it was a method lol, the problem is, my parents would get suspicious knowing them so I have to do it in the day, or evening

 

[Defenestration]

it's difficult because I thought I was going to die yesterday and even if I'm relatively happy to be alive, I have to restart my life and therefore face all the worries of life... I found that these worries no longer mattered because I said that I was going to die...they had become irrelevant and now I have to face them again

 

[Defenestration]

I already regret a little not having jumped

 

[deomlez]

Regret is not a good thing, it s done (sorry, i don t judge you... sharing my mind). Take your pb one by one.

 

[Defenestration]

Why do i live with problems?
Death=end of problems

 

[Medicopter1177]

You wrote yesterday that you like life again a little. May I ask you, what particular did you mean? What part of life did you find out that you like?

 

[deomlez]

Why do i live with problems?
Death=end of problems

I have no answer to this question.

 

[Defenestration]

You wrote yesterday that you like life again a little. May I ask you, what particular did you mean? What part of life did you find out that you like?

I arrived at the apartment in a fairly cheerful mood. my mood is very changeable (bipolar/borderline).

I arrived in the apartment, I went to the balcony, I leaned over to spot (not to jump directly) but to spot in the night and my survival instinct was very, very strong... I immediately understood that was going to be very very complicated to jump.. yet I kept imagining the scene many times

I tried to drink a little alcohol and take a very light dose of opioids and there, on the contrary, instead of erasing my survival instinct, I felt floating, well, like in... like in a cocoon... so no more desire from moving from the sofa to watching funny videos on the net. I was high after I called a very distant acquaintance on the net to talk about thoughts of suicide and it ended up making them go away.

and then I thought about my family, about what I was going to miss...but also the fear of missing out, of not dying suddenly, of suffering physically

it's crazy how thoughts can change when you're really on the brink of death...when you tell yourself in 2 minutes I want to die.

but today I became rather depressed again... the euphoric effect of the drugs and the alcohol fell.
and I regret not having jumped. I will surely have a VERY LAST, BUT LAST CHANCE at the end of June, beginning of July... AFTER THE APARTMENT WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE AND FOR ME IN THE REGION WHERE I LIVE 19/20 FLOORS IT IS THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE... IT IS A UNIQUE CHANCE THAT I HAVE ...

You wrote yesterday that you like life again a little. May I ask you, what particular did you mean? What part of life did you find out that you like?

Like the life because or drugs/alcool effect....
And fear of the death who was very near of me

 

[JustALostWanderer]

How did you purchase valium?

 

[Gonnerr]

A very relaxing song for jumpers when she says ;

Take me to the rooftop

i wanna see the world when i stop breathing

turning blue

 

[scharlachrotsan]

this thread appears dead, but no matter what OP did, i hope they found what they needed.

 

[PinkyStat]

I think i cant jump

Damn this pic gave me shivers, so glad you didn't jump

 

[deomlez]

A very relaxing song for jumpers when she says ;

Take me to the rooftop

i wanna see the world when i stop breathing

turning blue

It s on my playlist and right at the time I read your answer, I'm listening to "idontwannabeyouanymore". The one you quote is too hard to listen for me, i have listened to it during all my last down (all the day in loop during many weeks) and it s too painful for me to remind this period ans what was the trigger of this down, especially today.

 

[Defenestration]

How did you purchase valium?

By My doctor