Cruel site users

[demuic]

Isn't that amazing when you see others jump on the bandwagon and join in or defend them. It's contagious. They play follow the leader. It's narcissists having a party. It's a feeding frenzy.

They can understand remorselessly hurting someone more than being a victim of it, I think. Which really shows something about their character.

 

[Boart]

I'm kinda new here but haven't seen any trolling or malicious users here.

 

[Lilacmoon]

spreading misinformation is cruelty.
make sure to double check any information that you read. don't let the misinformation lead you to making a horrible mistake.

 

[Astronomer]

There are monsters here.

You was not wrong, my friend.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

There's a reason that my activity on here has waned. And not because I'm getting better.

 

[itachi of death]

This is my place were express my thoughts and feelings without any judgment and good people,trolls should burn

 

[muffin222]

You can try and point them out but it will usually just result in abuse against you. Such is the case when dealing with such psychopaths.

I notice this quite a bit on here and in other spaces both on and offline. I wonder why this happens. When people try and point out glaringly obvious red flag behavior in other people, the pitchforks often get turned against the person trying to inform everyone else.

People leap in and tell you that you're insensitive and heartless and that you should keep your negative opinions to yourself when, really, you're just trying to help the group.

It's really disheartening

 

[bov]

Be kind. It costs nothing.

I think this could apply to the way we talk about pro-lifers too. I see a lot of vitriol on here directed their way and even tho they're ostensibly not here to read it it still strikes me as unnecessary. Creates a bad atmosphere.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I notice this quite a bit on here and in other spaces both on and offline. I wonder why this happens. When people try and point out glaringly obvious red flag behavior in other people, the pitchforks often get turned against the person trying to inform everyone else.

People leap in and tell you that you're insensitive and heartless and that you should keep your negative opinions to yourself when, really, you're just trying to help the group.

It's really disheartening

I wondered why it happens, too. I found this article on hating whistleblowers, and here are some quotes that really resonated with my own experiences of backlash for summoning the courage to speak up:



[Anita] Hill, like many women and men who report a wrongdoing, whether it's done to them or to someone else, was not praised for bringing the problem to public awareness. Instead, she was attacked and vilified. Her entire personality and personal history became a target of her critics.

When someone reports a wrongdoing, we often start to look for what might be wrong with them or what might be false about their story. Why? Why do we look to criticize someone who reports when something bad is happening?

[...]

At a conference on "Speaking Out," Dr David Morgan, a Psychoanalyst for Whistleblowers UK, who has worked with more than 200 whistleblowers (that is, people who make a public disclosure of corruption or wrongdoing ) from a variety of industries, says that whistleblowers make us aware of a reality of society that we don't want to know about. "Most of us turn a blind eye. It's a good way of surviving, you get to keep your job [or place in a community], you might feel guilty but you can forget about it," he said.

[...]

But there are other complex psychological dynamics going on when someone tells on someone else, as well. One factor is that, on top of being forced to see something we don't want to see, a whistleblower can stir up our own guilt for misbehaving. So we flip the picture, getting angry at the person who represents our conscience instead of accepting that guilt. In psychological terms, this response is sometimes called projective identification– we see in the other person something we don't like in ourselves and get angry with them instead of with ourselves.

And then there's the sense (false, according to Dr. Morgan) that tattletales are often smug. They act like they are better than us; so naturally, we want to make them feel bad too. So we attack their credibility, which feels like we are protecting our own credibility.

[...]

And we attack that person, looking not just for cracks in their story, but for all of the reasons we should not believe them. Dr. Morgan says that despite the common belief that whistleblowers are narcissistic or self-aggrandizing, most simply see themselves as doing what they are supposed to do, what is right and proper, and are surprised and deeply distressed by the amount of hostility that is turned on them.

 

[muffin222]

I wondered why it happens, too. I found this article on hating whistleblowers, and here are some quotes that really resonated with my own experiences of backlash for summoning the courage to speak up:



[Anita] Hill, like many women and men who report a wrongdoing, whether it's done to them or to someone else, was not praised for bringing the problem to public awareness. Instead, she was attacked and vilified. Her entire personality and personal history became a target of her critics.

When someone reports a wrongdoing, we often start to look for what might be wrong with them or what might be false about their story. Why? Why do we look to criticize someone who reports when something bad is happening?

[...]

At a conference on "Speaking Out," Dr David Morgan, a Psychoanalyst for Whistleblowers UK, who has worked with more than 200 whistleblowers (that is, people who make a public disclosure of corruption or wrongdoing ) from a variety of industries, says that whistleblowers make us aware of a reality of society that we don't want to know about. "Most of us turn a blind eye. It's a good way of surviving, you get to keep your job [or place in a community], you might feel guilty but you can forget about it," he said.

[...]

But there are other complex psychological dynamics going on when someone tells on someone else, as well. One factor is that, on top of being forced to see something we don't want to see, a whistleblower can stir up our own guilt for misbehaving. So we flip the picture, getting angry at the person who represents our conscience instead of accepting that guilt. In psychological terms, this response is sometimes called projective identification– we see in the other person something we don't like in ourselves and get angry with them instead of with ourselves.

And then there's the sense (false, according to Dr. Morgan) that tattletales are often smug. They act like they are better than us; so naturally, we want to make them feel bad too. So we attack their credibility, which feels like we are protecting our own credibility.

[...]

And we attack that person, looking not just for cracks in their story, but for all of the reasons we should not believe them. Dr. Morgan says that despite the common belief that whistleblowers are narcissistic or self-aggrandizing, most simply see themselves as doing what they are supposed to do, what is right and proper, and are surprised and deeply distressed by the amount of hostility that is turned on them.

Beautiful, thank you so much for compiling these quotes! This is precisely the kind of explanation I was hoping for. This makes a lot of sense. It also explains why, on a wider societal scale, so many problems, faulty systems, and structures that could easily be rectified remain as is, despite the widespread suffering they generate. People are frustratingly complex.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It also explains why, on a wider societal scale, so many problems, faulty systems, and structures that could easily be rectified remain as is, despite the widespread suffering they generate. People are frustratingly complex.

See the "gilt by association" part of the linked article.

 

[death becomes her]

I'm kinda new here but haven't seen any trolling or malicious users here.

It might be because the other forms of social media show such cruelty that even with these trolls SS is still a kinder place.

 

[Meditation guide]

Why is there a discussion of whistleblowers? That should be a separate thread.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Why is there a discussion of whistleblowers? That should be a separate thread.

I was wondering the same. I guess that calling vulnerable people out on a suicide forum and pointing out the red flags in their posts is somehow equivalent to whistleblowing multinational corporations.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

I was glad to be back but this will be why I will probably self-ban soon. There are lots of supportive people here that I would miss though, this site has kept me alive.

I appreciate you all who have given me support and helped me through my darkest days.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I wondered why it happens, too. I found this article on hating whistleblowers, and here are some quotes that really resonated with my own experiences of backlash for summoning the courage to speak up:

Whistleblowers are not in a position of power, they are exposing wrongdoings of a much greater entity/power structure. They really need to summon the courage to speak up, becase their livelihood is at stake when they do that. A person who is well liked by some users on an internet forum, who is an old member with 6000+ posts hardly needs to "summon the courage" to "speak up". Speaking up in this context means picking apart posts by very vulnerable people, looking for red flags in those posts in order to exclude them from the forum - which is the last stop on many people's journeys. Comparing the "backlash" to these types of posts to the backlash that whistleblowers experience is highly narcissistic, self righteous, self congratulatory and downright delusional.

Whistleblowing is done to people/entities that have more power than we do. Considering that you have more power than I do on this forum, this post could be compared to whistleblowing, although that would be a bit overstreched, imo. When a person with more social capital/power "exposes" someone else, a new user, by aggressively picking their posts apart, looking for red flags etc. that could more easily be compared to bullying than to whistleblowing. Btw, I am not attacking you, and my tone is calm and respectful.

Interesting article on covert bullying: https://www.google.com/url?q=https:...FjAAegQIAhAB&usg=AOvVaw3JEH34cWlVKFmMo7rDU7Xx


Characteristics:
- A power imbalance;
- The repeated manipulation of peer social relations;
-An intention to inflict pain and anguish;
-A lack of empathy and compassion for those being bullied;
- The ability to go "unnoticed" and for those bullying to enmesh their behaviour in a culture of acceptance.

 

[pole]

out of respect for OP and thread etiquette, please stay on topic, especially if OP addresses any sort of possible derailing as well.

if you wish to create a seperate thread on something different, feel free to do so. any posts that derail this thread will be deleted out of respect for OP. the last thing we'd like to do is lock the thread.

take care.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

out of respect for OP and thread etiquette, please stay on topic, especially if OP addresses any sort of possible derailing as well.

if you wish to create a seperate thread on something different, feel free to do so.

take care.

This man knows what's up.

This is a fairly tough topic of conversation in general though. Opinions don't classify as cruelty yet I've seen members trying to classify it as such lately. I trust our mods to make a fair and unbiased decision on such topics though.

 

[W’ren]

I'm pretty new here too and i haven't seen any nastiness on threads- but i don't read every thread-

I, personally, would hope that if i came across in any way that was considered nasty or bullyish or anything like that, that someone would say something gently to me.

I am a very gentle person irl and the idea of hurting another in any way doesn't sit right with me :-( I'm one who's been bullied all my life- so i don't want anyone to feel that way either...

I am always open to constructive criticism and other points of view than my own.

 

[M]

The moderators on this site, please make sure to screen the people on this site better. Remove those accounts. I feel like few people know about this site and I'd like to keep it that way. I learned about this site from a suicidal person, I guess it was a godsend.

Sometimes, I hope the pricks from reddit don't come over here. I can't stand the hopefuls that want to offer their stupid solutions. I just hope this site doesn't turn into reddit. That would be god awful. This place is pretty good though. Just know that many people here have a mental illness and they might have some interesting things to say. This doesn't mean they're bad people. Just misunderstood. However, how do we decipher who's really being sincere. That's a bit hard. That's not for us to judge. We shouldn't be trying to one-up everyone else. We should I my be supportive and understanding.

I'm really sorry that some of the idiots on this site are being assholes and bullying you. I wish there was a way for people who have been on this site and are trusted to be able to report pricks like that. That way they can automatically be banned. No questions asked. MODERATORS PLEASE DO THIS. You know you can actually talk to me right?

We already have a fairly rigorous screening process in place for new members and we have inducted a few staff members recently to be able to root out the trolls/scammers/predators.

It is very easy to say to "remove these accounts" but which accounts? If they're not being reported using the forum report system, email, or by ticket, we don't know who to investigate or who to ban. Thousands of posts are made here every day, and a moderator isn't going to be able to read through every single one of them.

If you have a better system that you'd like to suggest, I'm all ears, but right now we're doing our best to try to make this a great place for everyone because, for many, it's their last.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

We already have a fairly rigorous screening process in place for new members and we have inducted a few staff members recently to be able to root out the trolls/scammers/predators.

It is very easy to say to "remove these accounts" but which accounts? If they're not being reported using the forum report system, email, or by ticket, we don't know who to investigate or who to ban. Thousands of posts are made here every day, and a moderator isn't going to be able to read through every single one of them.

If you have a better system that you'd like to suggest, I'm all ears, but right now we're doing our best to try to make this a great place for everyone because, for many, it's their last.

Man for you to come here and explain the obvious is leaps and bounds above what's required. I have nothing but love and respect to all the mods here because I'd imagine it's a daunting task at times.

I've had nothing but love for the staff here for two reasons. Not just do you guys run a tight ship, but you guys also do it while being "one of us."

 

[Viro_Major]

So, against my will, I finally met one of those terrorists, who had the patience to play during a very lengthy time. I was suspicious early enough that I collected the IP address, initially to confront it with the claims, namely location. Since quite a few people are bizarre here, I preferred to stick to facts and give the benefit of the doubt.
All the while about coherent, there was a frequent insistence to meet which culminated with paroxysm of comedy until the sophistication was lost to reveal gaming intentions of perversion. That's when there was no doubt left I was a facing a faker. I played it cool, even with irony, but on hindsight, globally, the level of determination shown appears rather freaky. On a misunderstanding, could definitely manage to trap victims and then the follow-up is up to debate.
May have been a sick miserable pro-lifer that can be pitied, or a more real daemon even. Please watch out for predators out there.

 

[Viro_Major]

It actually did make me worried about possible vendetta scenarios. In this category, I have this story in mind

Father who killed air traffic controller blasts the film on his life

Vitaly Kaloyev stabbed air traffic controller Peter Nielsen after his family died. He claims the film Aftermath portrays him as a man 'begging for pity', while failing to capture Nielsen's 'arrogance'.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Even more blinded by causes, like opposing fundamental rights, any obsessive mindset could happen after a trauma

 

[Meditation guide]

It actually did make me worried about possible vendetta scenarios. In this category, I have this story in mind

Father who killed air traffic controller blasts the film on his life

Vitaly Kaloyev stabbed air traffic controller Peter Nielsen after his family died. He claims the film Aftermath portrays him as a man 'begging for pity', while failing to capture Nielsen's 'arrogance'.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Even more blinded by causes, like opposing fundamental rights, any obsessive mindset could happen after a trauma

How does that relate to cruel site users? I hate to report posts for not being on topic but I can't see how that is in any way related to what this thread is about. Are you saying someone could get hurt due to cruelty here? That movie isn't about anything related to this thread.

 

[Viro_Major]

Oh, after my interaction, it gave me chills it could have been a parent who lost a child and would long for a punishment. It may sound exaggerated but wanting so much to capture personal information and wishing for a physical encounter specifically was alarming.

Sorry, there may be more types of cruelty implied by the discussion. I only cross-read the thread Just the array of threats can be potentially varied

 

[knux]

I think this could apply to the way we talk about pro-lifers too. I see a lot of vitriol on here directed their way and even tho they're ostensibly not here to read it it still strikes me as unnecessary. Creates a bad atmosphere.

Totally agree.

 

[Meditation guide]

I think this could apply to the way we talk about pro-lifers too. I see a lot of vitriol on here directed their way

They would like to stop all of us from having the ability to ctb. I don't think there is enough vitriol directed their way. People are suffering terribly.

 

[Secrets1]

They would like to stop all of us from having the ability to ctb. I don't think there is enough vitriol directed their way. People are suffering terribly.

I agree although it's a tricky topic... bc most of the pro-lifers who make it here are suffering intensely and angry. Logically some will be family members of people who have chosen to CTB. I have empathy for that and might have some of the same feelings in their shoes, who knows how that might manifest. Regardless, they should not be here under false pretenses fucking with people. I wonder what % of the trolls are these people and what % are just sadistic.

I found the Facebook page that wants to shut down sanctioned suicide. It is filled with misinformation and cherry picks what to show from here in an inauthentic way. It's also clear that the people making those posts, running that page are trapped in a foggy state of regret, denial, blame, anger and unrelenting grief bc their child is gone... healthy coping has understandably taken a hike too. They are certainly ignorant to the circumstances of their own past reality and that which lead their loved one to this site. I'm not paying attention enough to pick out these people specifically but I can understand their motivations and actions, however inappropriate in this forum. I think many of us who resent life have probably acted similarly at one time or another under certain stressors and situations.

The Bible thumpers who want to push their beliefs on others are on a dif level of needing to keep to their own closed minded tribe.

 

[Aurora]

It's best to take what people say online with a pinch of salt. I'm cautious here just like I am IRL. Also, I don't take the trolls personally as I know that getting butthurt feeds them. I tend to ignore them, although I'm aware that it's not easy for everyone to do that.

 

[Good4Nothing]

All these new people...
I used to greet and welcome them, but now that I suspect they're coming in waves from another site as pranksters, I don't trust any of them. Some may be legit, but who? How can I tell? I'm on my back foot now with new people and I don't like it.