Cringe

[unabletocope]

I've hit the point in life where everything I do causes someone to cringe and shut me down. I've been on mental health wards where even the mental health staff have cringed at my actions, I wonder if they will cringe when they discover I have killed myself. All through my life people have cringed at me/perceive me to be embarrassing, I think when it's too entrenched and too much has gone wrong and you are interpreted as cringe/embarrassing/a stalker by default you're stuck with something that as a death sentence, i should have killed myself in 2013 when this stuff started happening. I did consider throwing myself into a river in 2014 actually, not sure how that didn't happen. Either way it's trying to figure out between SN or hanging or throwing myself off a cliff, we'll see

 

[iloverachel]

I'm sorry things are so bad for you and that you thought of killing yourself in 2014. 10 years of suicidal thoughts (or more) seems very difficult.