Its all my fault

[unabletocope]

I kept turning up at someone's work for 4-6months when I was 19, I guess that makes me a stalker. She eventually got me kicked out of the shop. It made me fall out with people, it made me lose people. When some time had passed I tried to put it right, she went to the police. I chucked a glass of water over her, she went to the police again. I was never charged. I was not an awkward person,, I wouldn't describe myself as shy but I was late to sex compared with most people and this situation made me later to sex than most people, I wasn't secure with social media and the people that were there I was not secure with. My life has turned out completely wrong, everything has gone wrong, over the last 10 years I have been knocked and knocked. The final two knocks came in the last few months, one when I was on a psych ward the mental health came down on me for shouting words like retard/spastic on the ward, and the second when I was homeless out of being in hospital I ended spitting at security who tried to detain me for shouting, I was arrested and cautioned for doing that. I have destroyed my life and it all stems from turning up at someone's work over and over when I should have just used social media and asked for a date like most normal people do, I really hope I find a method soon I can't mentally withstand being this embarrassing, I may be a nobody but that doesn't change the fact I am the most embarrassing person alive