Suicide note draft

[unabletocope]

Too many people pushed me to this point. Too many people assumed and assume I am at fault, that I deserve everything I get, I should be held accountable for everything. In my case, maximum accountability must be applied because in the eyes of everyone else I am at fault to such an extent that I must be made to be held accountable. Your application of accountability has completely broken me, reduced me to a mentally ill cripple. But because, according to you, I did something so heinous, so despicable, so blatantly evil I must be brought to my knees. I kept turning up at someone's work. Why? Because I wasn't secure with social media, I wasn't secure with where I was In life and tried to reach out to someone, the most secure person I could think of under the circumstances despite also being the most damaged. On the back of that you have assumed I am a predator to destroy, to shatter, apparently I am the worst of humanity now. On the back of that I have brought to my knees over 10 years in a way that I can never come back from, I am unable to live, my life is shattered into pieces, my health is nonexistent, my head is crying out for death. I wonder if all of this sounds self-indulgent, self-pitying. I'm trapped in a position where anything I say or do leaves me appearing at fault, in the wrong, no remorse just self-pitying waffle that is all about me and no one else. Anything i say or do is only interpreted as me feeling sorry for myself and if i kill myself that is just more self righteous pitying to you. But what if im actually at that point? As a human being? What if this is actually more than taking the easy way out? What if this is actually a reflection of someone who can never be taken seriously and is beyond hope, who will automatically assumed to be someone who needs to be held accountable by default, because everything about them in your view leads you to believe that must be how they must be dealt with, interpreted, understood? I can't get through to you but it's exactly because of that that I feel I have no other option but to kill myself, you already put on your gown and wig and determined I must be held accountable to death, and you know what? I have been driven to death, who knows maybe I'll get more out of life by killing myself