Ready to CTB, sickness in the way. Ideas?

[nottinghams]

So I am perfectly comfortable and ready to die. I have everything I need. I have a time. What's stopping me is feeling really physically ill.
fevers, memory loss, trouble seeing, aches, trouble walking...

its so debilitating that I actually can't get up to kill myself.

I am ready to go so I don't want to waste time going to the doctor, but I might have to if being sick is preventing me from killing myself.
Or honestly if you have any ideas on how I could treat myself just enough to ctb tonight or something.

In fact im so sick its affecting my state of mind toward it, making me lose my motive a little. Also its effecting poor planning.


what should I do? Should I see a doctor? or do you have any ways I could treat myself enough to Do It?

I know this must seem so silly but its actually incredibly debilitating.

 

[Dark Window]

Go to a doctor, focus solely on recovering from your physical issues if you can, and then once that is under control, hopefully your state of mind will be better, and then you may or may not be suicidal.

Only CTB if you're 100% sure its what is best for you, and you're fully prepared and focused on it.

 

[iloverachel]

I am sorry, what you are going through sounds awful.
I wish you peace

 

[rozeske]

Definitely see a doctor. You can't treat yourself at home for such symptoms and they seem to be in a way for you to think clearly. If you can't think clearly you won't be sure if suicide is the right decision for you. You also won't be able to properly plan your suicide which can result in botched attempt possibly leaving you with permanent damage.

 

[Dark Window]

On top of what I've said. Why haven't you gone to a doctor yet? You need a diagnosis and treatment.

No need to suffer needlessly.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

It doesn´t sound silly at all it sounds like you´re really suffering

 

[nottinghams]

On top of what I've said. Why haven't you gone to a doctor yet? You need a diagnosis and treatment.

No need to suffer needlessly.

well the doctor didn't listen to me last time so idk what I can do to convince him and get teatment. no need for a serious diagnosis so long as my judgement is no longer impaired and I feel well enough to CTB.

Yes I am absolutely certain because I was certain prior to when this ill stuff popped up (only about a week ago) and ive beeyn certain for much longer.


I also don't want the doctor to take forever. I'm ready to go. I just need to feel better just enough to be able to do the ctb.
if you got an idea on how to convince the doctor and it wont take forever let me know or how I could make it easy enough to ctb already.

Definitely see a doctor. You can't treat yourself at home for such symptoms and they seem to be in a way for you to think clearly. If you can't think clearly you won't be sure if suicide is the right decision for you. You also won't be able to properly plan your suicide which can result in botched attempt possibly leaving you with permanent damage.

you say I seem to be unable to think clearly due to this. I'm just curious what gave you that idea.

 

[Dark Window]

well the doctor didn't listen to me last time so idk what I can do to convince him and get teatment. no need for a serious diagnosis so long as my judgement is no longer impaired and I feel well enough to CTB.

Yes I am absolutely certain because I was certain prior to when this ill stuff popped up (only about a week ago) and ive beeyn certain for much longer.


I also don't want the doctor to take forever. I'm ready to go. I just need to feel better just enough to be able to do the ctb.
if you got an idea on how to convince the doctor and it wont take forever let me know or how I could make it easy enough to ctb already.

Well for starters, write down all your symptoms, take them to forums or even subreddits like r/diagnose me, and you may get some ideas from people as to what it could be, and you may be able to gain some idea of what it is.

Take it back to your doctor,and if your doctor simply wont do anything, go to another doctor if you can.

 

[rozeske]

you say I seem to be unable to think clearly due to this. I'm just curious what gave you that idea.

The whole post, but specifically the debilitating part, the memory loss, the poor planing parts. Sorry if I misunderstood your post.

 

[imdoneforreal]

Maybe wait it out a few days? May be the flu?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I recently went to a doctor to seek treatment for a chronic condition I've had for many years. The way I look at it is like this - I still have a few things that I really need to take care of before I go in order to get to that "comfortable" place within me regarding how I leave things. Not feeling well has been hampering those efforts, to an extent, so I determined that the best course of action was to just bite the bullet, if you will, go see the doctor, and see if I could get some treatment so that I could feel a little better to make it easier, for me, to finish up the tasks I need to before I go. It doesn't change anything, as far as changing my mind on ctb. Hopefully, feeling better (physically) will just make it that much easier and speed things up to get where I need to be. I did not want to go to the doctor, either, but thought it through, and determined it was probably in the best interest of achieving my ultimate goal.

 

[nottinghams]

Well for starters, write down all your symptoms, take them to forums or even subreddits like r/diagnose me, and you may get some ideas from people as to what it could be, and you may be able to gain some idea of what it is.

Take it back to your doctor,and if your doctor simply wont do anything, go to another doctor if you can.

that feels like it could take awhile. I could try to be ultra serious to him and see what happens but I just don't wanna wait much longer :( That's why if im thinking what I could do for it myself, treat it enough so I can get up and go. Please, ideas for me to do myself are appreciated.

The whole post, but specifically the debilitating part, the memory loss, the poor planing parts. Sorry if I misunderstood your post.

No you didn't misunderstand. I misunderstood your reply, actually. I mean even now idk if im making sense writing this cause of the memory loss and the difficulty seeing.

 

[evaonline]

I have no way to help of course but im sorry. I know how it feels to have the medical world fail you.

 

[nottinghams]

Well for starters, write down all your symptoms, take them to forums or even subreddits like r/diagnose me, and you may get some ideas from people as to what it could be, and you may be able to gain some idea of what it is.

Take it back to your doctor,and if your doctor simply wont do anything, go to another doctor if you can.

I just really hope I don't have to prolong anything by seeing a doctor. cause yeah I can't treat this myself. If only like some thing, medicine, over the counter, to stave off the illness long enough so I feel comfortable to die...its the silliest paradox.