Help Cock problem

[Deleted member 1465]

*chuckle* I was going to milk this thread for everything it's worth but it developed a life of its own.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I hate that I clicked on this thread

 

[Jumper Geo]

I think it should be stickied for any future cock problems,

Cheers

Geo

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I think it should be stickied for any future cock problems,

Cheers

Geo

LOL sort of a cock resource for the future, like it.

 

[woxihuanni]

LOL sort of a cock resource for the future, like it.

Considering how detrimental to one's well-being can be to lack such resources...

 

[Jumper Geo]

LOL sort of a cock resource for the future, like it.

OMG, I am watching teneble, you've destroyed me I try to get away from SS and Warwick Davis says you not allowed to use cocker, so I am straight back here, lol

Cheers

Geo

 

[Deleted member 1465]

The universe is mocking you and me and all of us muhahahaha.

 

[woxihuanni]

The universe is mocking you and me and all of us muhahahaha.

42

 

[Symbiote]

The owner of the cock will just have to swallow this one. Pretty sure it'll be hard to take, when you have a group of council members encircling him. Hopefully they won't be circle-jerking him and his cock.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

42

What is the recommended height in inches of the standard public house bar?

All those years o research paid off: I found it.

 

[woxihuanni]

What is the recommended height in inches of the standard public house bar?

All those years o research paid off: I found it.

How many times can you fold a paper until it reaches the moon?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

How many times can you fold a paper until it reaches the moon?

I'm not sure you can...
Assuming you are folding it in half:
a) The increase in folds would result in half the distance at each fold, so the increase in distance would diminish exponentially on each fold. Once you get into sub space dimensions you are literally on a hiding to nothing. Maybe LOL I don't know.
b) Six times. Paper won't take more than six (or is it seven, go on, try it) folds before it's structural integrity is multiplied to the extent it won't fold any more.
c) Sorry for being a smart-arse, I can't help it.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm not sure you can...
Assuming you are folding it in half:
a) The increase in folds would result in half the distance at each fold, so the increase in distance would diminish exponentially on each fold. Once you get into sub space dimensions you are literally on a hiding to nothing. Maybe LOL I don't know.
b) Six times. Paper won't take more than six (or is it seven, go on, try it) folds before it's structural integrity is multiplied to the extent it won't fold any more.
c) Sorry for being a smart-arse, I can't help it.

Hypothetically speaking... you nerd

 

[woxihuanni]

I know what to do. I will introduce the cock to my neighbour. My hypothesis is that the cock is the only thing that might possibly shut her up.

So win win on neighbour problems.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

i keep coming back, it's hard to explain.

 

[Symbiote]

i keep coming back, it's hard to explain.

You should see a doc after 4 hours.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Okay. So I'm hiding away. But this is actually quite an apposite gift, so I'll break ranks to post it.
I'm horrified at this and yet I laughed all the way through it. I guess 14 years of working in a newsroom has taken it's toll on me.

Spoiler: Cock related news story NSFW?

'Sordid' dad-of-two jailed for having sex with chickens

A ‘SORDID’ father-of-two who would creep into a poultry farm at night to have sex with chickens used to apologise to the animals afterwards.

www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk

 

[Jumper Geo]

Jesus I couldn't help it, I laughed as well but he was a cruel bastard OMG he was only inside for 20 minutes and he killed 11 chickens,

Chicken

Cheers

Geo

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Okay. So I'm hiding away. But this is actually quite an apposite gift, so I'll break ranks to post it.
I'm horrified at this and yet I laughed all the way through it. I guess 14 years of working in a newsroom has taken it's toll on me.

Spoiler: Cock related news story NSFW?

'Sordid' dad-of-two jailed for having sex with chickens

A ‘SORDID’ father-of-two who would creep into a poultry farm at night to have sex with chickens used to apologise to the animals afterwards.

www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk

Serious question, what's your take on fluff pieces ?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I had a similar problem with my cock keeping me up at night. In the end I choked that sucker out and for whatever reason felt instantly sleepy. Oddly, I noticed that keeping Pronhub open helped me become more ruthless and bloodthirsty than I ever imagined I could be. Ordinarily I am a pacifist and really don't condone violence but this worked a treat.

 

[Aap]

The six folds is a myth. Here is paper being folded 11 times.


regarding the rooster, the right thing to do is talk to him about it. He won't do anything about it, but you should talk to him. Then go to the council.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Okay. So I'm hiding away. But this is actually quite an apposite gift, so I'll break ranks to post it.
I'm horrified at this and yet I laughed all the way through it. I guess 14 years of working in a newsroom has taken it's toll on me.

Spoiler: Cock related news story NSFW?

'Sordid' dad-of-two jailed for having sex with chickens

A ‘SORDID’ father-of-two who would creep into a poultry farm at night to have sex with chickens used to apologise to the animals afterwards.

www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk

I don't want to cut anyone's grace or disturb the topic, but I don't see it funny. It is very sad news. There is no sex between humans and animals, this is rape...

I understand that your days and nights are being unbearable, but try to ask your local council for help. Some members gave good suggestions on types of earplugs and noise dampeners. There are also some apps and videos on YouTube that help induce sleep.

I don't know how to position because I'm a little shocked. I've spent some time in fields and farms, and from what I noticed there were always animals around, domestic and wild... So I ask you if eliminating one animal will make sense if soon another will possibly appear?

Remembering that I'm not here to judge you, just want to understand the situation. Hope everything will work out for you and the little animal.

 

[Symbiote]

It's been 2 weeks, any update on your cock problem?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'd forgotten about this thread! Well, it's still there, but I'm going deaf so I can't hear it anymore. They are closing the site off and I'm pretty sure they are trying to get rid of the poor chap that owns the cock.

The deafness has been caused by using earplugs to help avoid cock noise.
It pushed the ear wax further in, I've spent weeks trying to soften the wax with different oils but it's actually made it worse. My local clinic doesn't do syringing anymore so I'm trying to find somewhere that does. The I can go back to ear plugs LOL, of which I have a large range of different types to try.

But no, atm, the deafness is actually helping me get sleep.

 

[Symbiote]

I'd forgotten about this thread! Well, it's still there, but I'm going deaf so I can't hear it anymore. They are closing the site off and I'm pretty sure they are trying to get rid of the poor chap that owns the cock.

The deafness has been caused by using earplugs to help avoid cock noise.
It pushed the ear wax further in, I've spent weeks trying to soften the wax with different oils but it's actually made it worse. My local clinic doesn't do syringing anymore so I'm trying to find somewhere that does. The I can go back to ear plugs LOL, of which I have a large range of different types to try.

But no, atm, the deafness is actually helping me get sleep.

Have you tried Ear Candling? It's when they light a special paper in your ear to soften the wax buildup and can be soothing too. Most wellness practitioners offer the service along with massage therapy. Coconut oil also works nicely too.

I'm glad that you'll be able to sleep easy soon since the cock and his owner are being removed, hopefully not next door to you. lol

 

[sadworld]

But no, atm, the deafness is actually helping me get sleep.

At least you can get some sleep now. I'm sorry for your "cock problem"

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I got 8 hours the other night. it was amazing and I couldn't believe it. Previously, I went through SIX MONTHS of less than one hours sleep a night due to physical issues and anxiety. I can't even begin to describe how punishing that was. I thought a few days without sleep was bad enough (and it is), but all those months... now if I get 4-5 hours I feel quite blessed and 8 hours, wow!

 

[waived]

Skipped a breath scrolling through here. The one artwork thread does it too.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

This is vaguely cock related too. I think the poor geese are for the chop...

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sanctuary-lounge.55095/page-15#post-1027580

 

[DockoftheBay]

Hahaha sorry for the clickbait. But I do have a genuine problem with a cockeral. A rooster to some folk.

There is a new rooster in the back field. I sleep in the back room. If I sleep at all, I sleep very lightly and still get up several times in the night. This time last year I barely slept at all, less than one hour a night. That lasted around six months. I kid you not. If you think insomnia for a few days or a week is bad...you are correct, it's awful. Now do it for six months. I can't go through that again.

The chap on the allotment in the back field has a new rooster and it's started doodling at dawn. That's okay in the winter, but when spring comes around I can see a real problem.

My options are:

1. Tell him it's an issue. I asked him innocently if he had a new rooster and he went into a half hour rant about the council and the fucker that killed the last one. I don't want to upset him, he's a nice chap and I feel kinda sorry for him. I don't want to upset him. I sometimes also feel I'm the only one that takes time to actually listen to him.

2. Grass him up to the council. That's not my style. The guy is a friend and the council are cunts.

3. Hope someone else grasses him up. That's just dishonourable.

4. Kill the bird. I don't want to do that. I let sodding flies out of the house usually rather than sway them. And how do you catch a cockeral anyway? Not sure how to kill it properly either. Break the neck i guess. I eat chicken. No moral qualms but in reality, not sure I can do that. And yeah, I don't want to do that to him either, poor bloke. Nah, that's just not me. Unless i snap.

But I will not go through that horrific insomnia again and I will kill to make sure that doesn't happen, if it comes to that.

5. The only alternative is to move to the front bedroom. But that fronts the main road and the road noise will keep me awake (such a light sleeper, up at least 2 times a night, can't risk no sleep). I could try and sound proof the windows, but that's expense that I can't afford, and all cuz of a bird that I'd happily eat from Asda.

I swear i seem to make odd problems for myself!

Advice anyone?

Earplugs and sound-proof curtains.