Help Cock problem

[Dr Iron Arc]

You should put that cock to work and make it play Magic the Gathering.



Though have you tried wearing a headset and setting something soothing but equally loud like ocean waves?

 

[MichaelNomad123]

It seems I'm late to the party. A neighbour of mine had a rooster for a long time. I'm pretty sure someone stole it and/or killed it.

Unfortunately there is no solution. Even if it's locked up in a pen, they're pretty darn loud. Earplugs would be your best bet or have a chat with him. I suspect that if he has a rooster, he's probably breeding too in which case you're shit out of luck. You could also change your sleeping routine into something that makes you an early riser too. It sucks to have to compromise for selfish people but you would feel better for it if you can move past that and furthermore this relies heavily on what your life situation is.

That's all I got. Good luck with your cock, buddy.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

I hate to tell you this but...I have lived near fowls; roosters don't crow just at dawn. They crow all times of the day and night. Changing your sleep patterns probably won't help. Also, it may smack you right back into insomnia.

Since you seem like his only "friend", maybe if you tell him how it affects you and that you will not be able to see him due to how awful you will feel, he might decide the rooster isn't worth losing your friendship. No more chats over the fence, so to speak?

 

[epic]

Maybe he can shift his rooster to a far end where the sound doesn't disturb you ? or buy a noise cancelling headphone ? Maybe a combination of both?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I knew it was going to be about a bird!

That sounds awful though. I would gather my courage and say it's an issue if I were in your shoes. Or, alternatively, you could try to scream even louder to show who's the biggest cock in town.

I do that with the goose. You can hear my roar clear across the neighbourhood when old Goosey is attacking me.

I hate to tell you this but...I have lived near fowls; roosters don't crow just at dawn. They crow all times of the day and night. Changing your sleep patterns probably won't help. Also, it may smack you right back into insomnia.

Since you seem like his only "friend", maybe if you tell him how it affects you and that you will not be able to see him due to how awful you will feel, he might decide the rooster isn't worth losing your friendship. No more chats over the fence, so to speak?

That's the most honest solution. It's also tough, he's an odd sort. Used to being victimised, an outsider, he bristles at anyone who tries to tell him anything.
And yes, I'm hearing it at all times now too.
I do have good ear plugs, but I also have bad ear wax. I'm currently oiling the ears to try and get rid of it, so I'm actually half deaf right now. The ear plugs push any excess wax back in, so I don't want to use them until I can actually hear again.
I would use proper earphones, but I've recently encountered a weird problem: when I try to sleep on my back, I snore whilst I'm still awake. It's very odd and stops me falling asleep.

I would like to move into the front bedroom anyway. Unfortunately, the road noise will keep me awake. If I could soundproof the windows a bit better I would consider that my best option.

LOL this is the sort of thread i make when I have a gin or two.

 

[XYZ]

I actually read "clock" instead of "cock" the first time I scrolled down the thread list.

(I am one of those who hates it when the clock changes because of summer or winter time)

 

[voyager]

You know, you could also get shutters. They're uncommon in the UK but standard in a lot of countries on the continent. Not expensive either, nor tricky to install. Might help a bit with the soundproofing in either direction. Maybe also cut up some foam and cram it into the window at nights.

My ENT wanted me to get some device to check my sleep pattern/breathing. Would have had to pay for it privately, so postponed it for now because I see the weeing and messy thoughts as the main reason for insomnia. But they might be able to help you with the snoring.

As for drinking.. hehe

 

[Deleted member 1465]

You know, you could also get shutters. They're uncommon in the UK but standard in a lot of countries on the continent. Not expensive either, nor tricky to install. Might help a bit with the soundproofing in either direction. Maybe also cut up some foam and cram it into the window at nights.

My ENT wanted me to get some device to check my sleep pattern/breathing. Would have had to pay for it privately, so postponed it for now because I see the weeing and messy thoughts as the main reason for insomnia. But they might be able to help you with the snoring.

As for drinking.. hehe

Yes, I'm considering shutters as sound baffles for the inside. Also, using acoustic caulk on the window gaps and foam tape at the window seal. If I can get my ears unblocked, maybe that in combination with ear plugs will allow me to move into the front bedroom and avoid the cock issue all together.

Also, I've dealt with local councils before and they are all arseholes. I'm pretty sure they are manipulating the poor chap into a position where they can evict him. They have told him he needs to keep the chickens contained, but he has no way of doing that. I don't want to see him evicted, but old Rooster Cockburn would go then too. I think they haven't done it yet simply because they are shit. LOL the workers that came to clear up his old pen spent 1 hour filling bin bags then 3 hours having a lunch break, after which they drove away. They came back and dumped all the other rubbish in the pond. That hour of bag-filling must have tired them out.

Re. my snoring...I've always suspected I have sleep apnea. Snoring whilst awake is a classic symptom, especially when lying on the back. Previously, I've woken up unable to breathe before too, but that may also have been caused by other stuff at the time, like reflux and anxiety.
Apnea is a serious issue, I find it ironic that it's something I've pretty much ignored and haven't even mentioned on here, as i have stuff that so far has affected me much more profoundly. Yes, the device that monitors your breathing whilst asleep, I've read about that. My sleep is so disjointed anyway they would have a field day with my results.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's raining today, so no going outside. At least Mr Cocky is quiet now. He will be hiding away trying to avoid becoming a nasty wet cock.

 

[woxihuanni]

It's raining today, so no going outside. At least Mr Cocky is quiet now. He will be hiding away trying to avoid becoming a nasty wet cock.

Our Mr Cocky is quiet, too, because the Abomination does not allow any crowing

 

[Deleted member 1465]

There is a further pun I could come out with here, but i fear it might be a step too far, even for me

 

[sufferingalways]

Nice try. If only.
The bloke is...old school. He spends every day in the field moving junk from one pile to the other. And it is junk. But he regards it as valuable. It's not, at least not to anyone else, or some fecker round here would have pinched it. His chickens roam free and he has no idea how many he has or where they lay or anything. They are effectively wild, and at some point the council will evict him because of it. I know it's going to come and may fix my problem, but it's sad.
He has little else. The place is his refuge, the junk is his treasure. The chickens and the violent bastard geese are his friends. They are effectively wild animals that follow him around, he'd never sell one of them.
Interesting perspective though, thanks for the suggestion.

Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stig_of_the_Dump

How you describe that guy moving junk and at risk of eviction reminds me of an old fella from a tv documentary about Environmental health officers. Old fella was Mr Trebus and the theme song used was "(what a ) wonderful world."

Starts with line "I see trees of green .."
That's the image came to my mind how you said he moves junk.

Feel you. Also have 6-7 months of the worst insomnia of my life behind me. Still wake once a night for a wee most times, but can actually fall asleep again which was impossible before. Makes a world of difference.

As for your problem, I too would've suggested ear plugs. Slept ok with my foamy 3M from the hospital, but yeah, it's better without and after a few days they'll be sticky with ear wax (urgh). Nor am I certain they'll block out the sound completely. Any chance of going to bed earlier? Or better yet, can you maybe get him to lock the cock in a dark place so he doesn't make any commotion at daybreak? If he doesn't live there maybe you could volunteer to let him out in the mornings?

Sorry, have no experience with farm animals. Also forgot to buy a chicken this Saturday at the super market. Was looking forward to it

For anyone who needs them, try washable ear plugs. I use them religiously as I am a light sleeper too.
As opposed to foam ones that don't last, I've washed with normal hand soap from the dispenser and used these for about a year and no throwing away until they wear out. Cost about £7.99 a pair. A mail order place.

Type " ear plugs mail order (town)". When you order tell them male or female because the ear shape very slightly different and the size.

Best of luck to any ear plugs users. These Silicone ones are good.

 

[sufferingalways]

Yes, I'm considering shutters as sound baffles for the inside. Also, using acoustic caulk on the window gaps and foam tape at the window seal. If I can get my ears unblocked, maybe that in combination with ear plugs will allow me to move into the front bedroom and avoid the cock issue all together.

Also, I've dealt with local councils before and they are all arseholes. I'm pretty sure they are manipulating the poor chap into a position where they can evict him. They have told him he needs to keep the chickens contained, but he has no way of doing that. I don't want to see him evicted, but old Rooster Cockburn would go then too. I think they haven't done it yet simply because they are shit. LOL the workers that came to clear up his old pen spent 1 hour filling bin bags then 3 hours having a lunch break, after which they drove away. They came back and dumped all the other rubbish in the pond. That hour of bag-filling must have tired them out.

Re. my snoring...I've always suspected I have sleep apnea. Snoring whilst awake is a classic symptom, especially when lying on the back. Previously, I've woken up unable to breathe before too, but that may also have been caused by other stuff at the time, like reflux and anxiety.
Apnea is a serious issue, I find it ironic that it's something I've pretty much ignored and haven't even mentioned on here, as i have stuff that so far has affected me much more profoundly. Yes, the device that monitors your breathing whilst asleep, I've read about that. My sleep is so disjointed anyway they would have a field day with my results.

Those council people sound like our gardener driver mower person. Were told his stop time is 3,30 pm, but he's always gone by 2,45. I can't understand why councils are shit. It's like a national sport for them.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Cock update!

Well, not really, sorry...

I talked to Stig of the Dump today and it looks like the Almighty Council Overlords will be 'evicting' the two geese at some point soon. And when i say 'evicting' I mean killing, because no one wants them.
Apparently one of the new allotment holders has complained that they have eaten his apples off his apple trees, which is nonsense as the trees are fenced in and the geese never go in there (I watch them, my bedroom over looks that allotment).
What's really happening is that he's an annoying cunt who just wants to upset Stig so that he will leave.
One of the geese always attacks me, but she's just being territorial, it's not her fault. I like seeing them mooch about in the long grass and their alarm calls act like a guard dog's barks. I don't want to see them killed because some prick has complained.

Poor geese. I'm trying to think of a way of saving them, but the problem is, Goosey is violent and territorial and will attack anyone who approaches her. I fI see them trying to get her, I think I'll call the RSPCA. LOL and good luck to them if they are trying to take her down, she is formidable.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I think if you contact the RSPCA, they'll probably be able to save the geese. Geese can be pretty vicious.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm on good terms with The Biggest Man in Town (a local gentleman farmer) so I'll have a word with him first, maybe he knows someone who will take them, but I'll keep the RSPCA hotline on standby. Maybe Goosey's ...er...goose is cooked, but I'll at least set the RSPCA against the council if I can. I know who I'd stand with.

 

[Symbiote]

Good to know you're making some headway into your cock problem. Maybe you can train the geese to attack your cock issue. Sometimes you just need a fowl dick of a goose to take care of a smaller cock.

 

[woxihuanni]

So long as we are up to date about the cock, life is good!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm just waiting for someone to complain to the Bastard Council about the noise that Stig's rooster makes.
Then they will come and remove his cock too.

 

[Symbiote]

Gotta drum up support to remove a cock. Shouldn't be too hard. With enough support, you can force Stig's cock in a hole where it can't escape.
BTW, this entire thread is full of puns

 

[Jumper Geo]

I can get way with uploading this joke, as my mum is from Ireland,

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I do like a good innuendo. In fact whenever I see the opportunity I'll always try and slip one in.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I would either get some heavy duty sleep meds or some ear plugs

 

[Brick In The Wall]

So this thread has degenerated to the inevitable. I've been treating my cock very nicely. Only letting the sexy ones touch him.

 

[Surgeon]

I'd talk to him about it and explain the situation.
Everyone here seems to understand, probably a good sign he will too.

You're not in the wrong, neither is he. Just conflicting circumstances.
Use your words!

 

[Deleted member 23374]

I came to this thread just to see what was up.

 

[woxihuanni]

I came to this thread just to see what was up.

The cock is up too early in the morning, which is hard on neighbours...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I came to this thread just to see what was up.

You won't be disappointed, we could use a cello soundtrack if you've the time!

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I once saw a cock at a zoo, which surprised me because it was out in the open.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

You won't be disappointed, we could use a cello soundtrack if you've the time!

That's a neat thought but, i was trying to find something suitably hard but short but, came up firing blanks.
I'm feeling blocked.
I did find this, a good beat, silky delivery, thumping bass , this guy really lays it down