Help chronic anxiety

[sashimi_]

do you quit the only shitty job you can get (based on failing constantly for the past 1 and a half years) and have had for 4 days because you cant sleep or eat bc you only think about it and how stressed it makes you. or is it purely just giving into avoidance techniques. here some context:

i never had a job before this, doing anything by myself is a constant struggle im never not fighting myself just to do basic shit. i dont wanna die but i dont wannt to have a job that makes me constsntly on the verge of tears even when i clocked out and should be able to relax. im sick of sobbing in front of the staff and ppl training me and having them gawk and be like "whats upsetting you". i never have a good enough answer bc its literally just everything. i technically physically can do the job, sorta slowly, but i didnt get signed off on training as expected bc i had a anxiety attack and then cried even more after, and im constantly either holding back tears or openly crying. some of the time i know why and a lot of the time i dont but they always ask why and it just makes it 10x worse. idk how to work like that its driving me mental and i cant make it stop




i know im being a huge baby but if i dont quit i need to figure out how to stop being so constantly on the verge of meltdown

 

[allthatimsaying]

You're definitely not a huge baby. You're dealing with your emotions, and this is a thing only mature people can do.

Is this job essential to you? How do you define "failing constantly"?

I don't know how good financially you are, but it's a good idea to resign, take a break, and then find another one.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

At the first job I had, I lasted only a month and a half because I was suffering from mental breakdowns mid-shift. I would have to find some spot to be alone and scream silently to myself, trying to suppress my emotions as much as possible. Eventually I realized that wasn't sustainable and quit, honestly telling my supervisor that I was suffering from depression. Luckily, they were understanding. If you can afford not to work, I would quit your job because your mental well-being is more important than being employed.

 

[KuroiSH]

do you quit the only shitty job you can get (based on failing constantly for the past 1 and a half years) and have had for 4 days because you cant sleep or eat bc you only think about it and how stressed it makes you. or is it purely just giving into avoidance techniques. here some context:

i never had a job before this, doing anything by myself is a constant struggle im never not fighting myself just to do basic shit. i dont wanna die but i dont wannt to have a job that makes me constsntly on the verge of tears even when i clocked out and should be able to relax. im sick of sobbing in front of the staff and ppl training me and having them gawk and be like "whats upsetting you". i never have a good enough answer bc its literally just everything. i technically physically can do the job, sorta slowly, but i didnt get signed off on training as expected bc i had a anxiety attack and then cried even more after, and im constantly either holding back tears or openly crying. some of the time i know why and a lot of the time i dont but they always ask why and it just makes it 10x worse. idk how to work like that its driving me mental and i cant make it stop




i know im being a huge baby but if i dont quit i need to figure out how to stop being so constantly on the verge of meltdown

Work culture is fucked up. When the "currently adult" generation becomes old and the young adults and teenagers step up to drive work environments, I think everything might change, for the better. A concerning amount of adults are too stubborn and too self centered to take advice from young people just because "they haven't lived as long as them".

Sadly, this includes emotions. A lot of adults were raised to believe in perfection to the closest degree. This means, as you experienced, gawking at any of us who dare display "imperfection".

Showing emotions isn't wrong, though! It's a totally normal part of social interactions that honestly shouldn't be as stigmatized as it is. Especially for people like you and I, who are very socially anxious.

Have you ever considered jobs where you can work remotely? Sure, you have to show up SOMETIMES, but it lessens the physical social interactions from every waking hour of your work shift to maybe 30 minutes every 5 months.

Or maybe you're just extra sensitive, and you feel overstimulated and overwhelmed when doing even the most basic social interaction. In which case I'd once again recommend a remote job, if that's an option.

As allthatimsaying said, you're way more mature than a lot of adults for being able to recognize that you have emotional needs, and expressing yourself if need be, instead of just bottling it all up. Don't beat yourself up too much over it, but strive to improve. How exactly, no idea. We're both struggling with this.