Untreated ADHD effecting productiveness and causing depression to get worse

[ccake]

I am literally crying so hard right now typing this, I hate having adhd so much, i have so much potential to do certain things but i literally just cant because i always get distracted or cant manage to get anything done, i really want and NEED treatment for it but my parents think that adhd medication will turn me into a zombie or something, and even if it did id much rather be a productive zombie than a unproductive depressed hermit crab constantly wasting time and potential, my adhd is so bad to the point where its honestly lost me thousands and thousands of dollars, ive tried explaining to my parents plenty of times that i need treatment but they just dont care, instead they try to use these stupid alternatives like putting me in online school, giving me fidget toys and stupid crap like that which just doesnt work at all, i do like online school a lot more but it doesnt change the fact that i cant focus on anything or get any of it done, they just act like my adhd doesnt exist or need treatment and that im perfectly fine, and they could care less about me struggling because of it at this point. It hurts so much to have to deal with this especially considering i dont even notice when im getting off track, i really wish i could just get adderall or any adhd medication at this point, i dont care what the side effects are I just need it so badly and it angers me so much just knowing my parents dont care and aren't helping me with it and that theyre just leaving me like this. im honestly considering to ctb i cant live with this. if anyone can give any advice on how to manage this or on what to do please do

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

I understand you completely.

I had to wait 20 years to be diagnosed with ADHD. I mean, it was just a year ago when I realized that my lack of social skills, impulsivity, and poor performance in high school and college were due to my ADHD.

Like you, my parents, especially my father, are completely skeptical about my diagnosis, saying that ADHD is just a label and that I need to "experience more in life." Also, he doesn't want me to take medication because he thinks it's a waste of money and prefers "natural remedies."

On the other hand, since I live in the third world, my family can't afford my medication or therapy appointments, so I have to take up disgusting jobs to buy my medication.

Currently, I take Methylphenidate for ADHD, although I had to stop it because I got a disgusting night shift job that messed up my sleep schedule and mental health. Fortunately, I won't be there anymore, so I hope to start taking the medication again, as Methylphenidate eliminates my laziness and increases my motivation.

Have you thought about getting a job? Maybe it'll help you not rely on your parents for medication. The downside here is that if you study, things can become more stressful.

Another thing I saw online but I'm not sure if it's effective is caffeine, because it's a stimulant like Methylphenidate or Amphetamines, but as I said, I'm not sure about its effectiveness. I used to combine Methylphenidate with caffeine and ended up with heart palpitations.

But anyway, I hope you manage to treat your ADHD.

 

[ccake]

I understand you completely.

I had to wait 20 years to be diagnosed with ADHD. I mean, it was just a year ago when I realized that my lack of social skills, impulsivity, and poor performance in high school and college were due to my ADHD.

Like you, my parents, especially my father, are completely skeptical about my diagnosis, saying that ADHD is just a label and that I need to "experience more in life." Also, he doesn't want me to take medication because he thinks it's a waste of money and prefers "natural remedies."

On the other hand, since I live in the third world, my family can't afford my medication or therapy appointments, so I have to take up disgusting jobs to buy my medication.

Currently, I take Methylphenidate for ADHD, although I had to stop it because I got a disgusting night shift job that messed up my sleep schedule and mental health. Fortunately, I won't be there anymore, so I hope to start taking the medication again, as Methylphenidate eliminates my laziness and increases my motivation.

Have you thought about getting a job? Maybe it'll help you not rely on your parents for medication. The downside here is that if you study, things can become more stressful.

Another thing I saw online but I'm not sure if it's effective is caffeine, because it's a stimulant like Methylphenidate or Amphetamines, but as I said, I'm not sure about its effectiveness. I used to combine Methylphenidate with caffeine and ended up with heart palpitations.

But anyway, I hope you manage to treat your ADHD.

i appreciate your reply a lot it made me feel a lot less alone about this, and ive wanted a real job just to have something to wake up to, but my parents wont let me because of some stupid tax shit or whatever so i just stopped caring about it honestly, at this point i expect the worst from everything, i currently make a fair amount of money online by doing 3d modeling, but i can never fully focus on it and i have really bad problems with managing sleep, entertainment, 3d modeling and other things

 

[ScroogeMcDeath]

I go through the VA, and they have only ever given me SSRIs. They never work. The therapy never works. I asked my last psychiatrist about possible ADHD and she didn't even give me a test. I think she assumed I was just seeking drugs because I've smoked weed in the past. So she just prescribed more SSRIs. Which (surprise surprise) didn't work.

I'm in school again and I'm probably going to flunk out of these classes. As always. This is pretty much how it always goes. I can't stay motivated throughout the entirety of a course, or a study guide, or whatever. I always end up giving up eventually or failing. And now it's no different. Just another cycle of stress.

I don't know what to do anymore. What has become devastatingly obvious is that I won't amount to anything at this rate. Nothing will get done. Nothing will be saw through. It feels like this is the cause for the depression, and not the other way around. I've started like 5 bachelor's programs since getting out of the military in 2020 and they always fall apart. I can't do it. Now I'm sitting here with a week and a half left of two classes that I'm woefully behind in and I can see it coming, yet again. I don't have it in me to "buckle down" and "focus" and "get it done"... That's been made clear!!! So what am I doing exactly??? I feel like a complete failure.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

i appreciate your reply a lot it made me feel a lot less alone about this, and ive wanted a real job just to have something to wake up to, but my parents wont let me because of some stupid tax shit or whatever so i just stopped caring about it honestly, at this point i expect the worst from everything, i currently make a fair amount of money online by doing 3d modeling, but i can never fully focus on it and i have really bad problems with managing sleep, entertainment, 3d modeling and other things

I see.

If you want, you can try taking caffeine, although, well, I'm not sure if you really enjoy drinking coffee or energy drinks. Caffeine is weaker than the medications used to treat ADHD, but it can help you a bit while you're trying to access treatment. I can't indicate a recommended dose, although it's obvious that you shouldn't consume too much caffeine.
You can try taking it in the morning, which is the time of day when I take stimulants.

On the other hand, another thing that might help you a bit is managing negative stimuli.
For example, I have hyperacusis and any sound is annoying to me, so sometimes I use earplugs or listen to pink noise on my headphones to prevent other noises from distracting me.
Another example is light. I prefer to have my room dark because that way I keep my eyes focused on what I want to do, like using my PC or reading something. However, having a dark room makes me sleepy, so it's not something I recommend.

In the end, all of this is not a treatment, just a way to manage ADHD while you're trying to access treatment.

 

[ccake]

I see.

If you want, you can try taking caffeine, although, well, I'm not sure if you really enjoy drinking coffee or energy drinks. Caffeine is weaker than the medications used to treat ADHD, but it can help you a bit while you're trying to access treatment. I can't indicate a recommended dose, although it's obvious that you shouldn't consume too much caffeine.
You can try taking it in the morning, which is the time of day when I take stimulants.

On the other hand, another thing that might help you a bit is managing negative stimuli.
For example, I have hyperacusis and any sound is annoying to me, so sometimes I use earplugs or listen to pink noise on my headphones to prevent other noises from distracting me.
Another example is light. I prefer to have my room dark because that way I keep my eyes focused on what I want to do, like using my PC or reading something. However, having a dark room makes me sleepy, so it's not something I recommend.

In the end, all of this is not a treatment, just a way to manage ADHD while you're trying to access treatment.

Oh wow, I honestly did notice that I was a lot more focused than normal the last time i drank one of my mums redbulls lol, i actually got a lot done, i might try that and ask her if maybe thats something we can try, i hope it doesnt make it worse though if i start doing it too much, but thank you for telling me that, that honestly flew over my head ill ask her tomorrow