Method Can’t keep going, need guidance

[bipolarbear.]

There are no words left to explain my pain, or why I'm choosing to cbt.
I just need guidance.

I live in a country where firearms aren't an option, most bridges aren't an option, etc. iv'e lost all access to any medications except for Phenylephrine Hydrochloride, which isn't a surefire method in my opinion. This leaves me to think about ingesting disgusting things like pesticides, but I fear that my survival Instincts will stop me and I'll have fucked up my life even further. Much like slitting my wrists, I have attempted that in the past before my survival instincts kicked in and now I have a paralysed arm. Please give me advice on a method to peacefully cbt out of this world. I've had enough.

 

[shame]

It's so fucking hurts to read posts like that..
I wish you all the best and hug you!

 

[whereisbeauty]

I'm truly wish that you find peace

 

[gayayi4811]

Pesticides no idea. I saw a video of somebody who supposedly took rat poison and it was the most painful thing and not quick.
Through CBT or not, I hope you find peace

 

[Evelyn Lane]

It's against the rules to advise a method. Sorry.

 

[Unknown21]

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FrancesFarmer]

Please, please don't go the route of pesticides or ingesting anything up that nature, at the very best you are asking for a shitload of pain in a slow death, I'm not trying to talk you out of CBT but please please do not attempt this way, you spray pesticide on a bug and you can see what happens to it, we are essentially 150 lb bugs, it's a slow dragged out painful process, stricnine, if you're using that is horrendous it essentially just causes convulsions and rigidity in your body, muscle rigidity to the point where a bone can crack, wicked stuff.
I am very fortunate that I have access to a firearm very soon which I have researched but if that were not the case I would have to come to terms that hanging would be my only way out.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain, sadly I can relate I've been dealing with this for many many decades way back when it was just old school medication 1970s stuff.... all the way up to crazy new pharmaceutical studies which I've taken part in so I'm sorry you're going through this pain it's horrific.
That being said pesticides or ingesting something, oh no, no no please don't. Hanging while it may seem violent initially it's really next to guns your next best option, I don't agree with going in front of a train or in front of a vehicle due to other people being involved but hell, half the time they don't even know that they had something.... I wish you all the peace in the world and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. If you go this route make sure you have a note in your pocket that is held within a waterproof bag AKA Ziploc so at least the person who hits you will be informed that it was a suicide and not any fault on their end, really the least we can do, perhaps our last responsibility in this world if we must involve another.
As always I'm doing this Google talk to text and there may be multiple errors I apologize. Feel free to private message me if you need to, I can't offer you much other than empathy and compassion and perhaps a friendship for a moment or two. Take care, I'm trying to say this respectfully as possible but please reconsider your choices at the moment of how to ctb, I say this as a friend who doesn't want to see another human suffer