Discussion Being a snowflake afraid to do a simple ctb process

[fkyou]

Our fear of death is literally irrational,us being alive is no less weird than being dead. Tbh my problem isn't with death itself if I could press a button and get over with it,but what I do to get there.i just believe we are raised to be a bunch of snowflakes,we were raised to be soft avoid violence and committing crimes.and suicide is commiting a crime against yourself.that doesn't make it less ugly or repulsive. Hanging myself feels like slicing someone else with a knife.Offcourse for a long time I believed I can do it even enjoy it because "finally". But that's only when I was emotionally fine ,(or when I'm psychotic delusional that kind of happiness presses down emotions of fear and panic and keeps you okay despite anything)..idk I think I always underestimated how hard this is "or I hoped so because I had to manipulate myself into it".
if it's so easy than why I'm being a snowflake now.why Ami making this 5 minutes process look hard . it's not the process that is hard (at least that's what I hope) but these emotions I'm having, despair, failure,shame,loss. This fear/panic that rises whenever it is time.
None of what I'm saying makes sense.the only thing is that I'm failing to do what I promised.
Even my views and principles that made me want to die two years ago aren't the same today.so I'm left basically an empty shell.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think if we knew 100% that our method would work and in a predictable way- we knew how much pain to anticipate, it would feel easier.

 

[itsgone2]

I know what you mean. My stuff is setup, for fsh. Five minutes and no more pain. But it's been waiting weeks for me. Why can't I just do it already.

 

[fkyou]

I know what you mean. My stuff is setup, for fsh. Five minutes and no more pain. But it's been waiting weeks for me. Why can't I just do it already.

I think I will just do it despite anything or hopefully have another moment of clarity that motivates me to do it

 

[itsgone2]

I think I will just do it despite anything or hopefully have another moment of clarity that motivates me to do it

It's hard to verbalize why I haven't done it, other than SI and one person I know it will devastate.

 

[SnowFlakey]

As an official Snowflake I can assure you that once a moment of complete numbness finally hits you, there is no fear or any other thoughts. Did not even cry or really think about anything when I finally had a "successful" partial hanging. Got resuscitated before getting to brain damage zone so have to make sure you will not get discovered for at least 30 minutes or even longer with other methods.

 

[fkyou]

As an official Snowflake I can assure you that once a moment of complete numbness finally hits you, there is no fear or any other thoughts. Did not even cry or really think about anything when I finally had a "successful" partial hanging. Got resuscitated before getting to brain damage zone so have to make sure you will not get discovered for at least 30 minutes or even longer with other methods.

That's helpful to hear. How did you get discovered? I'm doing partial hanging too.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

As an official Snowflake I can assure you that once a moment of complete numbness finally hits you, there is no fear or any other thoughts. Did not even cry or really think about anything when I finally had a "successful" partial hanging. Got resuscitated before getting to brain damage zone so have to make sure you will not get discovered for at least 30 minutes or even longer with other methods.

Imo It's all mindset or reprogramming the brain

 

[SnowFlakey]

That's helpful to hear. How did you get discovered? I'm doing partial hanging too.

Got discovered because I did it at home and my partner forgot something when he had left and randomly came back home

 

[fkyou]

Got discovered because I did it at home and my partner forgot something when he had left and randomly came back home

Do you know about partial hanging unconscious noises I heard maybe they aren't that loud so I don't have to worry too much about being heard.cause there's always someone in the house can't afford complete loneliness.