Discussion anyone feeling guilty wanting to ctb being an only child?

[blackorchid]

I'm an only child. my mother only haves me and when I'm gone she'll be alone. I've been trying to rationalize my feelings, but I really do feel guilty and selfish even if my mother is abusive and I don'treally feel like I love her. in fact, the idea of being attached to her until the day she dies makes me feel miserable. I wish I could be stronger and less of a shit.

does anyone here struggle with this too?

 

[interna]

yeah, im an only child as well, and basically the only thing my mom has. i feel really bad about taking away her kid from her, but im just not suited for living

 

[Ekim]

You just described my situation perfectly I'm an only child too and my parents only have me every time I think about ending my life I stop because of them my life may not mean much to me but to them it means everything

 

[valar_morghulis21]

I have 2 siblings, one of them is half-sibling from my dad's side, and I'm already feel so much guilt for wanting to ctb. I know my mom would die of a heart attack if I choose to do it now, so I'm waiting for her to pass before my attempt.

 

[Forveleth]

A little but my parents are a big part of the reason I am here so not really.

 

[SASU-KE]

I'm not an only child, but I will still say that you don't need to feel guilty because you don't owe them anything.

 

[blackorchid]

I'm not an only child, but I will still say that you don't need to feel guilty because you don't owe them anything.

it's hard to get rid of all of the "selfish" and "thoughtless" allegations, since of course my mom will be seen as a victim of a suicidal child. I'll be "passing" my pain to her. I know I shouldn't care since I'll be gone but, it's still a tough process (?)

 

[bb142342]

Yes, unfortunately, I'm an only child too, and I'm in the same boat. My father requires full-time care now, and I help out with that.

Besides that, if something were to happen to him, my mother would be left all alone—and she's turning 70, too.

If they weren't around anymore, I would have gone through with it a long time ago.
They're what's holding me back because I feel absolutely riddled with guilt; but on the other hand, everything just infuriates me, and it's such a burden having to go to that stupid job every single day.

I just can't imagine taking something, having it actually work, and—in the midst of it all—knowing that my father is lying there needing care, barely able to move, and that my mother would be the one to find me and be left to deal with all that madness on her own.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

If i was an only child i still wouldnt be too guilty but i would be a lot more than i am now but its because of how they treated me