Being a Sex Offender Has Ruined My Life

[CursedReality88]

You're blaming an underage girl for some creep statutorily raping her? Nice victim blaming. If you can't be sure of her age and ability to actively consent then keep your prick in your pants.

Love your know it all judgemental attitude. He said he did not know she was underage. In that sense, how was he supposed to know she couldn't "actively consent"? Lmfao do you expect him to pry and ask her to show her id, birth certificate, and question her a million times before doing it? Again he was drunk, you don't know if she was or if she lied about her age. YOU don't know, I don't know. You don't even know what kind of environment it was done in and you are this angry and quick to choose a side. If it was a party in a Uni, you think everyone questions before having sex? Its a college.

 

[Holu]

I'm relatively stalwart in my defense of victims, and for any victim they absolutely have the right to be upset with this post, and as a community this isn't a whole lot of information to go off but I'm still disappointed that so many were so quick to bash instead of just ignore the post. Whether or not you caused harm, you are still here attempting to confess something, and the judgement fired back to you was unnecessary. I'm sorry for any added pain thrown your way, but at the same time and while ik it's hard, I encourage you to take some accountability, since I assume the statement of "it wasn't my fault" is what's riling people up.

Whatever happens next, I'm sorry for the pain your experiencing, regardless of whether or not I agree with your actions.

 

[SolomonKado]

A few years ago I was drunk and made an error. I accidently slept with an underage girl, I was drunk and really didn't know. She reported me and I was put on a list. I was fired from my job and no one will accept me, I can't even go back into uni because of my criminal record. I feel so hopeless. I just want this all to end. It really wasn't my fault. Any advice?

Isn't this a suicide thread? Where did all this other stuff come from in these posts? Where are the people who are about pro choice and tell the pro life people to kick rocks? Unless he wants pro life then he's in the wrong threads.

This guy is seeing a legal system for what it really is and a world that revolves around hurt, pain, and torment. Someone comes and makes a thread about how unhappy their life is and people talk about respecting their choice. Not this person though for some reason.

Whatever you do with your life I hope you find peace. I worked in the worst part of the legal system and it disgusts me how many people are terrorized by it.

They need to charge both and not just one. You can call someone the victim and the other the perpetrator, but none of us was there so all this is empty speculation.

this person needs help. Not some empty words. Not everyone can get lucky to turn things around. Which is why we have "goodbye" threads.

 

[sammiechzxv]

I love how you came to the conclusion that he raped her. He said there was consent but she was underage which he found out LATER. So yes. Context matters. He didn't force himself on her. It could've been her sneaking into a party/club and agreed on having sex. If he was in a adult setting, it wouldn't be wrong for him to not question the age of the girls especially if it was at a UNI like he said he goes to. They both could have been drunk as well.

You don't fucking know and all we got is that he said they both had consent sex which the law agreed on. So why dont you stfu and relax.

an adult having sex with a child is statutory rape, "accident" or not. A minor cannot consent. It's his fault for getting drunk and having sex with someone he didn't know. Take accountability. Just because he "didn't mean to" doesn't make him any less at fault.

 

[CursedReality88]

an adult having sex with a child is statutory rape, "accident" or not. A minor cannot consent. It's his fault for getting drunk and having sex with someone he didn't know. Take accountability. Just because he "didn't mean to" doesn't make him any less at fault.

Funny how you think an adult doing adult things should be penalized. Again tell me how it is his fault if he was in a adult only situation expecting only adults to be there? Stop with this bullshit minor cannot consent crap. Again he did not know, and what age? You know it depends on the state and some goes as young as 13? So what do you mean when you say minors cannot consent?
You act like adults drinking and having one night stands is not a common thing. Especially for college kids. If it was like I mentioned multiple times, in a restricted adults only scenario, how was it his fault if he was deceived?

 

[SolomonKado]

i am so sorry that you came to a place for help and it turned into everyone wanting their opinions heard instead of helping.

Please if you need help or want to talk then PM me. We won't talk about what happened. Just the fact you need help.

 

[John Ryder]

Isn't this a suicide thread? Where did all this other stuff come from in these posts? Where are the people who are about pro choice and tell the pro life people to kick rocks? Unless he wants pro life then he's in the wrong threads.

This guy is seeing a legal system for what it really is and a world that revolves around hurt, pain, and torment. Someone comes and makes a thread about how unhappy their life is and people talk about respecting their choice. Not this person though for some reason.

Whatever you do with your life I hope you find peace. I worked in the worst part of the legal system and it disgusts me how many people are terrorized by it.

They need to charge both and not just one. You can call someone the victim and the other the perpetrator, but none of us was there so all this is empty speculation.

this person needs help. Not some empty words. Not everyone can get lucky to turn things around. Which is why we have "goodbye" threads.

Agree with the general sway of this aside from "they need to both be charged" since we lack details in that regard, but I agree with your other points

 

[sammiechzxv]

Funny how you think an adult doing adult things should be penalized. Again tell me how it is his fault if he was in a adult only situation expecting only adults to be there? Stop with this bullshit minor cannot consent crap. Again he did not know, and what age? You know it depends on the state and some goes as young as 13? So what do you mean when you say minors cannot consent?
You act like adults drinking and having one night stands is not a common thing. Especially for college kids. If it was like I mentioned multiple times, in a restricted adults only scenario, how was it his fault if he was deceived?

If he lived in a state where she could have been old enough to consent he wouldn't be a registered sex offender. Everyone knows kids sneak into college parties. He's at fault for sleeping with someone he didn't know.

 

[UKscotty]

Whole thread sounds sketchy. The number of people victim blaming or saying women are at fault is scary.

Defending someone who raped a child is not the intention of this forum. It is for suicide methods and discussion.

 

[Octavia]

Whole thread sounds sketchy. The number of people victim blaming or saying women are at fault is scary.

Defending someone who raped a child is not the intention of this forum. It is for suicide methods and discussion.

I personally find the fact they omitted their ages to be very suspicious in nature.

 

[John Ryder]

Whole thread sounds sketchy. The number of people victim blaming or saying women are at fault is scary.

Defending someone who raped a child is not the intention of this forum. It is for suicide methods and discussion.

"Defending someone for raping a child" is a massive leap from empathizing with someone who is at a point of wanting to ctb, whatever the circumstances. This is exactly why I tend to avoid threads like this where someone confesses to guilt or conviction on some hot button issue. If you so much as acknowledge their humanity and do anything short of burn them alive you get lazily and passive aggressively lumped in as an enabler or their exact "species". Maybe I was mistaken in my initial impression this place skews a little more intelligent than a tribalistic preemptive virtue signal shithole like twitter

 

[tora]

being drunk is not an excuse to rape an underage girl but okay buddy you keep blaming your problems on the world instead of accepting you're a predator
as someone who was assaulted as a child, it's disgusting how many people in this thread are victims blaming. if the girl was underage, she COULD NOT LEGALLY GIVE CONSENT. if an adult has sex with a child, that is RAPE. the world would be a much better place if all sex offenders killed themselves. if you're an adult, it is your responsibility to know the age of who you're sleeping with. he's using being drunk as an excuse for his actions when so many rape victims are blamed for their rape because they were also drunk. it's scary how many of you are on the side of a convicted rapist.

 

[sammiechzxv]

being drunk is not an excuse to rape an underage girl but okay buddy you keep blaming your problems on the world instead of accepting you're a predator
as someone who was assaulted as a child, it's disgusting how many people in this thread are victims blaming. if the girl was underage, she COULD NOT LEGALLY GIVE CONSENT. if an adult has sex with a child, that is RAPE. the world would be a much better place if all sex offenders killed themselves. if you're an adult, it is your responsibility to know the age of who you're sleeping with. he's using being drunk as an excuse for his actions when so many rape victims are blamed for their rape because they were also drunk. it's scary how many of you are on the side of a convicted rapist.

Yes exactly thank you

 

[DeadManLiving]

"Accidentally"? Bollocks. It is on you to make sure you are not fucking an underage girl. That is because children cannot give informed consent.

Ever wondered if it has ruined her life?

Ask for Valid ID and age verification every time you score. Otherwise, you could be next. If the probability is not zero, then the event must occur. Unless you're celibate.

I heard of a story of a guy who got crossed. To get revenge, he covered his tracks and went into trailer trash trash parks where cash speaks faster than the speed of wisdom. He found the finest 17.9-year-old that looked like a 28 year old Epic porn Modelesque 9/10 (maybe 10/10 one in a lifetime). Paid $10,000 ($1,000 upfront) to scout him out and slowly cross his paths (gym).

Of course, all the blood in his brain went to his dick, and they took it from the gym to another exercise.

She immediately went to the ER and cried rape. He was arrested, adjudicated on the Sex Offender Registry for life, served three years, and forever destroyed. She got the $10k for the job jolly ever after, the dude was dumbfounded, and revenge was served.

Could happen to anyone. But since you brought up the topic - always ask for Valid ID and age verification (birth certificates, passports, interrogatories) before you have sex, because, as you say ...

That is because children cannot give informed consent.

 

[UKscotty]

"Defending someone for raping a child" is a massive leap from empathizing with someone who is at a point of wanting to ctb, whatever the circumstances. This is exactly why I tend to avoid threads like this where someone confesses to guilt or conviction on some hot button issue. If you so much as acknowledge their humanity and do anything short of burn them alive you get lazily and passive aggressively lumped in as an enabler or their exact "species". Maybe I was mistaken in my initial impression this place skews a little more intelligent than a tribalistic preemptive virtue signal shithole like twitter

A child rapist is a child rapist.

They get no special empathy because they are suicidal. Millions of people get suicidal, none of us are anything special.

 

[John Ryder]

A child rapist is a child rapist.

They get no special empathy because they are suicidal. Millions of people get suicidal, none of us are anything special.

"special" empathy? More like just the baseline empathy that would presumably be offered for a suicidal person in a place among like minded. "At SaSu, We Care!"******** (18 asterisks)
And there is obv no detail given here, but if you want to paint, say, some 20 yr old who has a drunken encounter w a 17 yr old who looks 5 yrs older and is masquerading as such with the same broad strokes as an adult who actively seeks out and grooms a bona fide young teen or adolescent like there's zero meaningful distinction, have fun with that I guess

 

[CursedReality88]

"special" empathy? More like just the baseline empathy that would presumably be offered for a suicidal person in a place among like minded. "At SaSu, We Care!"******** (18 asterisks)
And there is obv no detail given here, but if you want to paint, say, some 20 yr old who has a drunken encounter w a 17 yr old who looks 5 yrs older and is masquerading as such with the same broad strokes as an adult who actively seeks out and grooms a bona fide young teen or adolescent like there's zero meaningful distinction, have fun with that I guess

These people hear the word underage and they immediately don't care about logic or circumstances lol. As long as you are female you are the victim and must be sided with.
Yes once you turn 18 its ok, but 17 and 11 months is no go. They are children and can't consent! Everything is black and white. Also ironic how older teens can't consent and its morally wrong but it's ok for people here to assist them in suciding...anyway im done with this thread lol

 

[John Ryder]

These people hear the word underage and they immediately don't care about logic or circumstances lol. As long as you are female you are the victim and must be sided with.
Yes once you turn 18 its ok, but 17 and 11 months is no go. They are children and can't consent! Everything is black and white. Also ironic how older teens can't consent and its morally wrong but it's ok for people here to assist them in suciding...anyway im done with this thread lol

People also get off on the carte blanche to dispense loaded labels with very damming connotations on account of convenient legal distinctions. Yes a 20 yr old convicted in the scenario above could legally be deemed a child rapist, but is he a cHiLd RaPiSt in the same way the tinted window, black van full package who scouts prey for weeks and months before kidnapping and assaulting is? Gtfoh. But you get to use the words, the delicious words, see, so all good!

 

[betternever2havbeen]

These people hear the word underage and they immediately don't care about logic or circumstances lol. As long as you are female you are the victim and must be sided with.
Yes once you turn 18 its ok, but 17 and 11 months is no go. They are children and can't consent! Everything is black and white. Also ironic how older teens can't consent and its morally wrong but it's ok for people here to assist them in suciding...anyway im done with this thread lol

Or @RappleOffender could've just answered the question about how old they both were and then people wouldn't need to speculate. I think the law sided with the "female" here-sorry if that sucks for you, but I think they did that for very good reason.

 

[Larysa]

Wonder how many are on this forum at least in part because of sexual abuse when they were underage?

 

[nessun_nome]

A few years ago I was drunk and made an error. I accidently slept with an underage girl, I was drunk and really didn't know. She reported me and I was put on a list. I was fired from my job and no one will accept me, I can't even go back into uni because of my criminal record. I feel so hopeless. I just want this all to end. It really wasn't my fault. Any advice?

I think you are being hard on yourself. You say you were put on a register. If that was the only sanction, it can't have been considered a serious transgression. For all of those screaming "young girl", we don't know how young she was. When should we start caring? One day before the age of consent? One month? One year? These things matter as does the age of the OP.

Anyway, back to the original question. Lots of people have this sort of conviction and get work. It might limit the type of work you can get so, although it may have changed your life, you shouldn't let it ruin it.

Does the conviction expire and the same question for the offenders register? You don't say where you are but it seems hard to believe that you can't get education with this.

Is moving away an option for starting again?

Only you know your circumstances at the time and if it really is as you say, you don't have too much to beat yourself up over.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Moral of the story: Before you have sex, you shall ask for Valid ID and age verification, birth certificates, and passports, and run them through validity checks. Interrogate your partner thorougly before you have sex, or you could end up in this gentleman's shoes.

If the probability of it occurring is not zero, the event must occur.

And yes, if I were to end up on the sex offender registry unknowingly by sleeping with a minor who lied about her age: I would plan my revenge against the prosecutor for decades, carefully finding a way to have one of their children unknowingly sleep with a minor for a bribe. If the procecutor had an 18 year old high school kid, I'd get him on the sex offendor registry to in a set up. You know how many underage migrants short of 18 (say 17.999999) years old would do anything for a dime? I've heard stories of their children having had to walk the streets to bring food to the table.

With the influx of migrants and a $10,000 bribe, I would use advanced investigation and surveillance techniques to footprint the prosecutor's adult age high-school year son(s). After careful and calculated planning, I would have the migrant minor's mother consent to entrust $10,000 conditional on her underage daughter courting the target. With girls these days looking like they're in their late 20s but only being 16, and women being men's biggest weakness, it would not take long until they crossed paths and the blood flowed from his brain downstream.

Like the 18 year old kid who unbeknownst fucked a minor who he met on Tinder lied about her age and had sex in a park was convicted.

The underage migrant would cry rape, go to the ER and have legal costs paid as a shield from further inquiry. The only evidence would be the 18 year old prosecutor's son's sperm in the 17.99999 year old's vagina, resulting in a conviction of statutory rape to let the prosecutor have a taste of their own medicine.

I would then commit suicide.

 

[John Ryder]

Moral of the story: Before you have sex, you shall ask for Valid ID and age verification, birth certificates, and passports, and run them through validity checks. Interrogate your partner thorougly before you have sex, or you could end up in this gentleman's shoes.

If the probability of it occurring is not zero, the event must occur.

And yes, if I were to end up on the sex offender registry unknowingly by sleeping with a minor who lied about her age: I would plan my revenge against the prosecutor for decades, carefully finding a way to have one of their children unknowingly sleep with a minor for a bribe. If the procecutor had an 18 year old high school kid, I'd get him on the sex offendor registry to in a set up. You know how many underage migrants short of 18 (say 17.999999) years old would do anything for a dime? I've heard stories of their children having had to walk the streets to bring food to the table.

With the influx of migrants and a $10,000 bribe, I would use advanced investigation and surveillance techniques to footprint the prosecutor's adult age high-school year son(s). After careful and calculated planning, I would have the migrant minor's mother consent to entrust $10,000 conditional on her underage daughter courting the target. With girls these days looking like they're in their late 20s but only being 16, and women being men's biggest weakness, it would not take long until they crossed paths and the blood flowed from his brain downstream.

Like the 18 year old kid who unbeknownst fucked a minor who he met on Tinder lied about her age and had sex in a park was convicted.

The underage migrant would cry rape, go to the ER and have legal costs paid as a shield from further inquiry. The only evidence would be the 18 year old prosecutor's son's sperm in the 17.99999 year old's vagina, resulting in a conviction of statutory rape to let the prosecutor have a taste of their own medicine.

I would then commit suicide.

Sir, just what kind of good ass cocaine have you been getting your hands on

 

[who doesn't matter]

What in the heck is this thread? Listen, I am not trying to be a preacher but I don't think being "judgy" about a situation this vague is healthy. We can't take the person's side or the girl's as we don't completely know the situation.

I mean, almost all of us are here because we were judged too soon.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Sir, just what kind of good ass cocaine have you been getting your hands on

Cut from the pure brick sweet sniff of revenge.

If the minor lied to you about her age, and or the minor appeared to be above her age and you had intercourse, consent was not implied but implicit.

The question is did you act egregiously so as to cause harm? If the answer is no, then you're no different from that guy on the news who met up with this girl in the park on Tinder who lied about her age and was convicted and put on the sex offender registry, with no harm having been done. To the contrary, the female that he slept testified that she lied about her age under oath on the stand. When the verdict was red she cried and had a breakdown and how the justice system destroyed this innocent man's life. Now she has to live with the rest of her life knowing that lying about her age caused somebody else their life in the sense that once you're on the registry you're fucked.

I'd commit suicide immediately if that happened to me, but not without getting revenge on the prosecutor using legal and tactical means so as to give them a taste of their own medicine. If it can happen to a random family where their son can meet a girl on tinder and have sex in a park later unfolding that the female was underage, it could also happen to the prosecutors' sons (or daughters). Nobody is immune from the law, and at the end of the day Justice has no friends.

Even if it takes 20 years, I'll go to the four corners of the earth and make sure that the authorities who enforce these hot button laws get a taste of their own medicine. When a cops's son sleeps with an underage minor who lied about their age who was involved in the investigation, I think the tables would start turning.

It just takes a lot of strategic planning, surveillance, skip tracing, investigatory techniques and funding and then setting the stage (infinite patience, even if even if it takes 10 years) for the enforcers of these strange laws to fall into their own traps.

Excuse replete typos, typing from my phone will polish up later.

 

[Meditation guide]

Smart guys take every possible precaution to make certain the age of girls. Not doing so can land you in this kind of situation and even worse if she gets pregnant. Ask to see an ID. It's just the logical thing to do. I know a man who does that routinely.
The age of consent varies by state. I know it's 17 in New York but other states are different.

 

[SexyIncél]

What in the heck is this thread? Listen, I am not trying to be a preacher but I don't think being "judgy" about a situation this vague is healthy. We can't take the person's side or the girl's as we don't completely know the situation.

I mean, almost all of us are here because we were judged too soon.

Yeah, and I think it harms rape victims! Not to mention guys destroyed by false/misleading accusations

I'm sorry for a long rambling post, way offtopic, but maybe it's helpful to discuss what actually helps rape victims & innocent guys — and what destroys lives. It's specific to unconsenting sex, but should apply here too

---

When a girl comes to you for help in a rape case, and you decide to intervene, I think it helps to list the various timelines — Is he lying? Is she lying? Etc. Because you don't know which timeline you're in. Maybe you can assign rough chances to each one. Then gotta act in ways that work ok, no matter which timeline you're actually in. Eliminate false timelines

So suppose we got an underage girl employee, telling us how her boss raped her. Naturally, we discuss how she wants us to help

Well, we need to consider the possibility she's lying/misleading. So we discreetly discover any other victims & talk with them. (As we anyway should.) And subtly probe everyone, to find evidence/patterns/interests. Escalate in ways that help us learn more & more

If we're too damn arrogant for this, we'd be dangerous for everyone, fucking everything up big & small. That's why it's useful to learn escalation and rational thinking. Escalation is particularly helpful, so we're using minimal effective actions at each step — before we take life-altering steps we can't undo

Because some dudes need baseball bats to the head, I'm sad to say

---

And btw, a lot of impressively vocal women — they suddenly disappear when it's time to do the bare minimum to help other gals...

---

False rape accusations

I personally witnessed false rape accusations. These are low-risk attacks. If successful, these women would've destroyed a man & his family. They failed — and the women absorbed only minor consequences & gentle treatment

For example, at a big meeting in a bookstore, a woman came in off the street. Soon, she loudly accused an attendee of raping her in the back room. One well-respected woman attendee stood up & confidently announced "She's a woman, so we must believe her!"

Only problem was... it wasn't physically possible. In full view of us, he was there making food for us in the kitchen, furthest from the back room. If we believed her, we'd have gotten an innocent guy imprisoned in a foreign country with an authoritarian government. More than an innocent guy — he was actively helping others, an all-around great guy!

Of course, neither of these women apologized for violently threatening him with a cage, and maybe getting HIM raped

By some "gladiator motherfuckers", as a US prison guard put it to me. We don't talk about prisons, do we? He told me about pretty men who rubbed their own shit on themselves, to avoid getting raped by gladiator motherfuckers. He quit after trying to help prisoners, because "he saw too many things no man should see"

Now recently, I met a schoolteacher who told me that she lied when accusing a coworker of rape. She blamed psychosis from ecstasy-induced brain damage at raves. I did commisserate with this druggie schoolteacher, without judgment. Despite (what some might call) her life-endangering criminality

Guess what society considers worse:

1. a female druggie ruining a man & his family with false accusations of rape
2. a male druggie traumatizing his coworker by raping her

Don't guys get traumatized by such things? If we're putting cluestick-on-head to guys who traumatize gals, what about gals who traumatize guys — with state violence?

---

We could also talk about ageism — how supposedly no one under 18 can consent to anything, because of ageist assumptions that they're little morons, property of their parents

Or how punishment-based legal systems don't generally solve problems, they're just mechanically following rules made by creepy career politicians

But the important thing to do irl is to sit down with the girl & discover to what extent (if any) there's trauma. And together, figure out solutions based on that

 

[byebyemadworld]

This story is really vague and difficult to give advice.
I wonder about what the girl was thinking. Was she drunk too and then regretted it? Did she think that she couldn't say no?

 

[front of me]

It is a very difficult situation. If you are in a club, less than 18 years of age are not allowed to enter, and the officials are responsible for the club. If you have photos of a chat with her and she says her age, you can use them as evidence. I do not know how she got to this point.Maybe you can travel, life will never end

 

[Kerrtu]

Wonder how many are on this forum at least in part because of sexual abuse when they were underage?

For real, from the bottom of my heart - thank you for your voice of reason and protection in this thread, @Larysa