Discussion Being a sadist

[cruelexistence]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's terrible, tragic and unnecessary how existing beings have to suffer so senselessly, I find this disturbing honestly. Under no circumstances would I ever want to suffer in this repulsive, hellish existence, all I want is to be permanently unaware, I just wish for non-existence. The fact that many humans are so sadistic and love making others suffer makes me want to not exist much more.

 

[sickgirlzis]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

me too. I feel really awful for it. I've hurt people around me in several ways (nothing terrible, but some shitty stuff) and afterwards it just makes me feel like I'm just like the people who abused me and hurt me. I don't even know where it came from and I feel like no matter how hard I try to get rid of it I hurt others without even thinking twice.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

I think that understanding you're a sadist is important, and that if you want to participate in sadism then there are people who are willing to consent to participate in their own suffering, whether that be physical like whips or emotional like degradations, such people are exist and furthermore no person deserves judgement just for existing as long as their life practices are as much as possible consensual and informed, and that an individual remain up to date on their consent and information surrounding the behaviours in which they wish to engage.

I think that if you were to engage in sadism with unwitting or unwilling participants, then you are crossing a line into harmful behaviours by which you may also be exposing yourself to justifiable social liabilities including in the legal system.

But we're all different. I was born a zoophile. I've never done anything to satisfy that and the idea of consent and animals is a can of worms I've never been willing to open. I'm literally just a dude with a secret and some people would have me dead if they knew. So, that's my primary goal is to extend the same right to exist to you as a sadist. No judgements here, and remember we still exist by a social contract and the grace of others

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess misery just loves company.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think it's probably a trauma response . You want to feel in control

 

[1MiserableGuy]

Look up Marquis de Sade (whom sadism is named after) and that should be revolting enough to snap you out of this

 

[cruelexistence]

Look up Marquis de Sade (whom sadism is named after) and that should be revolting enough to snap you out of this

Not saying I want to be him, but he seems like a fascinating person. Upon a quick reading, he seems to have influenced a lot of the current thoughts and philosophies of today.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Most people harbor some degree of schadenfreude.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

Not saying I want to be him, but he seems like a fascinating person. Upon a quick reading, he seems to have influenced a lot of the current thoughts and philosophies of today.

Saló is based off of one of his books. I have endured many a disturbing movie but that one was so sickening I had to abort the mission half an hour in.

 

[AkaRed]

Honestly I do see the logic behind it and considering how bitter I am right now, I know to some degree what you mean.

It could for sure be a form of trauma response or something else, but what's mostly important is that you're aware and not actively enacting harm upon others.

You're doing fine. ^^

<3

 

[cruelexistence]

Honestly I do see the logic behind it and considering how bitter I am right now, I know to some degree what you mean.

I hope you're doing okay being bitter and all. It's no fun at all.

It could for sure be a form of trauma response or something else, but what's mostly important is that you're aware and not actively enacting harm upon others.

I mean, I don't physically harm anyone. But perhaps I do like saying something that will trigger a response of hurt. I feel bad, but it also feels good. Idk. It comes in waves.

You're doing fine. ^^

<3

I don't think so, but thanks for believing in me. It's refreshing.

 

[melancholymallory03]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

It's not crazy, it's a response to possible desensitization and abuse you've faced yourself.
That being said, careful to squander your freedom doing anything illegal lol. You could probably find some groups of people like yourself, or compatible because there are some masochistic people that will symbiotically ? Is that the word? Like you! Life is full of criticism so you are very brave for posting this and I admire you're courage , I wish you peace on you're journey and I hope you can learn to accept / and or control these darker sides of yourself

It sounds like you feel dismissed by others
Or maybe you're forgetting the commonality of suffering ,
or maybe there's a lot of insensitive cold hearted people around you . So it's driving you to want to teach people a lesson of morality with these actions. Try to find people you have stuff in common with- that are tolerable - to a certain extent maybe ? Cuz u said u want everyone to lift eachother up after the suffering you mentioned- so there's a part of you that is feeling in some way. Maybe the sadism is just an aspect of yourself that's developing slowly, or sexually - either way sadism in itself isn't a crime. You're not a weirdo . We are a group of people on here that are all suffering , so if you want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, for everyone on here, I'm sure it has…. Take comfort in that
And don't go all Ted Bundy on us tho!
Wishing you peace and a comfortable journey ☮

 

[cruelexistence]

It's not crazy, it's a response to possible desensitization and abuse you've faced yourself.
That being said, careful to squander your freedom doing anything illegal lol. You could probably find some groups of people like yourself, or compatible because there are some masochistic people that will symbiotically ? Is that the word? Like you! Life is full of criticism so you are very brave for posting this and I admire you're courage , I wish you peace on you're journey and I hope you can learn to accept / and or control these darker sides of yourself

It sounds like you feel dismissed by others
Or maybe you're forgetting the commonality of suffering ,
or maybe there's a lot of insensitive cold hearted people around you . So it's driving you to want to teach people a lesson of morality with these actions. Try to find people you have stuff in common with- that are tolerable - to a certain extent maybe ? Cuz u said u want everyone to lift eachother up after the suffering you mentioned- so there's a part of you that is feeling in some way. Maybe the sadism is just an aspect of yourself that's developing slowly, or sexually - either way sadism in itself isn't a crime. You're not a weirdo . We are a group of people on here that are all suffering , so if you want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, for everyone on here, I'm sure it has…. Take comfort in that
And don't go all Ted Bundy on us tho!
Wishing you peace and a comfortable journey ☮

Lol, I won't go Ted Bundy on any of you. Again, it's more the mental sufferings of others that I can find myself enjoying. People or animals in physical pain makes me want to stop it. I'd say I get no joy out of that (maybe with the exception of fail videos, but I think that's a bit different, or maybe it's not and I've been wrong this whole time; idk).


Thanks for your detailed response. There's a lot I feel I can glean from it. Thanks a ton!!

 

[soonatpeace777888]

It's unpopular to say but many people have some level of this, hence schadenfreude. It's on a spectrum. You can never really help who you are, but you can downplay it if you really feel bad about it.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Lol, I won't go Ted Bundy on any of you.

You could ask me for my email

Jk . I'm not a masochist, and I can torture myself just fine it's the death I struggle with.

 

[Ash]

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I need to ask, is that why you're on this site? To get off on our pain and misery?

You talk about pulling each other up and that sounds idyllic, but the reality is that I can't cope with being the object of non-consensual titillation.

 

[xinino]

"Then we pull each other up from it." What?! Why?

Do you enjoy watching people suffer? Or do you enjoy making people suffer?

Because it makes a big difference, I think it is common for people to want other people to suffer "At least where I am living, people do," because it gives them a sense of advantage.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

Oh hi, ex-boyfriend who though enjoying my suffering was good.

My thought is you are horrible for feeling good when others suffer. I would say get therapy but honestly the less you're around people the better. You seem to be needing affirmation or approval and you'll never get it. The only person who thinks you're cool is you.

There is a difference between schadenfreude (the emotional experience of pleasure in response to another's misfortune) and someone who self-identifies as a sadist and is consciously choosing too make other people suffer or seeing it happen. If someone I don't like slips on some ice and falls, I could giggle at the misfortune of them ending up on their bum for a second, but I likely would not actively do anything like push them on the ice, nor gleefully like to see a planet of people slipping on the ice and falling, nor actively make a habit of pushing people so they fall. Sadism is a choice of cruelty and humanity's story is the story of people - mostly men - in power being sadistic and causing suffering. Your tag line - 'cruel and cool' - shows there is no hope for you.

Many of us endure emotional, physical, sexual abuse - and most of us are highly empathetic and if anything want reduced suffering. You love being sadistic, and if you're asking if it's bad knowing it obviously is - you're wasting people's time.

I had an ex who at one point started kicking me lightly when we were lying on the grass, then kept on doing it, and after I told him to stop, kept on - and it was him laughing that I remembered. He laughed repeatedly when I told him to stop. The look on his face laughing showed me who he was.
This board should be only for people on the topic at hand, and not for people like you. I'll flag to the mods, this doesn't belong and you need help.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I can't cope with being the object of non-consensual titillation.

Only in a place like this would I feel safe saying that if you are a member of the human race you are subjected to non-consensual titillation. That's my experience. This is a species of ape we are a part of... hence my discomfort being on Earth. I didn't consent to participate in the narratives of those who foist one meaning or a other onto my existence, whether it satisfies this predisposition or that tendency of a person shouldn't matter. Let the moderation team decide if a sadist is welcome or not.

Meanwhile I can absolutely understand how being a sadist sucks, and having an open conversation about it in oneself is a good sign. I think these differences in humanity are among the strongest reasons for a person to want to CTB and that sadists and/or other non-average psychological makeups should be welcomed here despite the possibility that any individual may be here just to look.

This place is in the mass media now. It's not possible to close Pandora's box.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

For better or for worse I'm a sadist. I feel like I'm totally exposing myself and am opening myself to criticism, but I really am curious what people think.

Is it bad that I enjoy people's suffering? I feel like I've gone through so much myself that I can't help but feel good when I see others suffering too. Not often, but sometimes I get in a mood where it just really excites me. I want pain and suffering to fall on us all hard, and then we pull each other up from it.

I don't know if I sound crazy, but I've felt this way for a while.

Thoughts?

Thoughts.

Do you enjoy hurting people because you were hurt yourself?
Do you feel you want to leave because you enjoy hurting others?
Why are you telling us this? What are you looking for?

 

[cruelexistence]

Thoughts.

Do you enjoy hurting people because you were hurt yourself?
Do you feel you want to leave because you enjoy hurting others?
Why are you telling us this? What are you looking for?

If you're asking me this only to ascertain whether or not I'm a threat to this community, then I'm afraid you wield a double-edged: to protect yourselves and to harm me in the process. I don't blame you. I know I'm not wanted. And even in the community of a shunned kind I too am shunned for speaking about who I am. I hate myself for what I am. I'm sorry. I hope that's good enough for you all.

I'm afraid. Afraid that if I answer your inquisitions in truth that I will be shunned for who I am. Forget it. You don't have the power to reject me if I leave.

Good for you for protecting your community, honestly. I can only imagine how hard it can be. It's a shame we must sometimes fight with double-edged swords.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

If you're asking me this only to ascertain whether or not I'm a threat to this community, then I'm afraid you wield a double-edged: to protect yourselves and to harm me in the process. I don't blame you. I know I'm not wanted. And even in the community of a shunned kind I too am shunned for speaking about who I am. I hate myself for what I am. I'm sorry. I hope that's good enough for you all.

I'm afraid. Afraid that if I answer your inquisitions in truth that I will be shunned for who I am. Forget it. You don't have the power to reject me if I leave.

Good for you for protecting your community, honestly. I can only imagine how hard it can be. It's a shame we must sometimes fight with double-edged swords.

Im asking because I'm curious.

 

[thenamingofcats]

There's a difference between wanting to hurt people because someone is a dangerous person who lacks empathy, and having feelings of wanting to hurt people due to identifying with those that have abused them.

 

[Dot]

I need to ask, is that why you're on this site? To get off on our pain and misery?

You talk about pulling each other up and that sounds idyllic, but the reality is that I can't cope with being the object of non-consensual titillation.

Ths = mst imprtnt questn imo

If u r usng SaSu bcse u r suicdl fr reasns includng wht u hve dscribd thn tht = fne -- u cn alrdy C tht th/ cmmunty = spportve & undrstndng of mny 'neg8tve' thghts & b-havrs

If u hve joind fr vyeuristc & gratficatn reasns thn tht = anothr questn al2gethr & in thse circsmtncs protectn of th/ cmmunty wll b mde a priorty

 

[cruelexistence]

Im asking because I'm curious.

Maybe we can have a more private conversation? No worries if not. Also, I'm a bit busy rn, so I might not respond soon.

 

[Agon321]

Don't worry, I'm not going to judge you.
I understand you.

In my opinion, no topics should be avoided in places like this.
Creating taboo topics is, in my opinion, harmful.
We should talk freely about everything.

I'm just not sure if you really are a sadist.
What you wrote doesn't say much.
We don't have enough information to tell and help you.

I also really like the suffering of some people in certain situations, but I wouldn't call myself a sadist.
Unless I am, then we have a problem together ;).

Unfortunately, I am not a psychologist and I do not have much knowledge on this subject.
Unfortunately, I am unable to give you a specific solution.


Currently, I'm not sure if you're a sadist.
Your thoughts don't seem very "nefarious" to me.
However, I could be completely wrong as my perception may be faulty.

Don't be afraid to talk.
Don't make the mistake that many people make, including me ;).

 

[AnAnonymousCrow]

I struggle with this a lot. My biological father had issues with controlling his anger, and his drug addiction only exacerbated and amplified his instability. I'm sure I've inherited his tendencies. One thing that I do to stop myself from hurting others is dwelling on what the consequences will be. I imagine that what they'll feel is paramount to what I feel on the worst days. If that isn't enough, I'll isolate myself and SF. It's enervating and sobering.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Maybe we can have a more private conversation? No worries if not. Also, I'm a bit busy rn, so I might not respond soon.

Sure.
Feel free to message me

 

[cruelexistence]

Oh hi, ex-boyfriend who though enjoying my suffering was good.

My thought is you are horrible for feeling good when others suffer. I would say get therapy but honestly the less you're around people the better. You seem to be needing affirmation or approval and you'll never get it. The only person who thinks you're cool is you.

There is a difference between schadenfreude (the emotional experience of pleasure in response to another's misfortune) and someone who self-identifies as a sadist and is consciously choosing too make other people suffer or seeing it happen. If someone I don't like slips on some ice and falls, I could giggle at the misfortune of them ending up on their bum for a second, but I likely would not actively do anything like push them on the ice, nor gleefully like to see a planet of people slipping on the ice and falling, nor actively make a habit of pushing people so they fall. Sadism is a choice of cruelty and humanity's story is the story of people - mostly men - in power being sadistic and causing suffering. Your tag line - 'cruel and cool' - shows there is no hope for you.

Many of us endure emotional, physical, sexual abuse - and most of us are highly empathetic and if anything want reduced suffering. You love being sadistic, and if you're asking if it's bad knowing it obviously is - you're wasting people's time.

I had an ex who at one point started kicking me lightly when we were lying on the grass, then kept on doing it, and after I told him to stop, kept on - and it was him laughing that I remembered. He laughed repeatedly when I told him to stop. The look on his face laughing showed me who he was.
This board should be only for people on the topic at hand, and not for people like you. I'll flag to the mods, this doesn't belong and you need help.

I thank you for your honesty, but with all due respect I am not your ex. Perhaps he hurt you and you feel obligated to excommunicate anyone who resembles his sadistic nature. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

Also, to clarify: "cruel and cool" is supposed to refer to existence. I think existence is cruel yet cool. I can see your confusion though, which isn't really your fault.

Also, I think I'm quite successful at keeping away from people, so you can find comfort in that.