That's a very long time.
It doesn't sound like coming face to face with the finality of it and the premature termination of countless people's lives inspires you to strive to maximize your time here either.
A lot of people here express envy of the dead. Do you find any such feelings come up?
It really does sound like this job really can take a toll on your mental health when you already struggle with it. One of many jobs almost criminally undercompensated. Obviously you're weeded out really early if you lack the mental constitution for it but do you find there is enough support in place for the mental health of people in the death industry?
No, coming face to face with death regularly has not inspired me to maximize my time here. It has inspired me to try to appreciate the time that I have though- although mental illness certainly makes that difficult. I do try to appreciate what I can though.
There was one case that hit too close to home and made me think, "I don't want that to be me." I can't go into specifics, but it did cause me to start taking better care of my body and trying to get physically healthy for a bit, but it was short lived.
I don't know if I'm envious of the dead. I'm glad they're at peace, and I wish I was as well. Is that considered envy? There are certain causes of death where I do not envy them at all- because I know the pain it caused them. Sometimes in cases of accidental death, after speaking with their family and learning their life story, it's clear that they were the kind of person who actually enjoyed life- and that's tragic.
I think more than anything, I envy those who are (or at least seem capable of- I'm not in their mind and I don't know their personal struggles) capable of enjoying life, even thriving.
I wish I was capable of thriving, and enjoying, or even at least tolerating, life.
This profession will take a toll on your mental health even if you're not mentally ill. As I said previously, there are cases that impact you and stick with you forever. If you ask any mortician who has been doing this for a while about the cases that effected them the most, they will have a rather long list.
Unfortunately, they also won't be able to share details about them, other than vague generalities, because the privacy of the dead is important. So we just bottle it all up, and try to compartmentalize it the best we can.
No, there is not a lot of mental health support in the death industry. It's the same as with first responders and others who deal with tragedy every day- the most we have is maybe a "support line" to call. There is some movement towards more mental health support, and people are beginning to recognize the toll it takes- but primarily, we're just thanked for doing something that, "I certainly couldn't do", and then expected to be strong and not let it negatively effect us. In the profession itself, saying out loud that it's negatively effecting you will result in peers or colleagues thinking that you're not cut out for this.
We're not supposed to say it out loud. We're supposed to man or woman up, and grin and bear it.
Hi .
Have you encountered anything paranormal during your work?
Is it possible to be buried alive now ?
(that's one of my fears)
Nothing paranormal, although a lot of mortuaries are in very old buildings that make some strange sounds at times. :P
Some of those sounds might sound like a child's laughter, or someone running around on the floor above you when no one is up there. Old buildings settle, and old pipes and whatnot make odd noises. Given the location, it's hard to not take those natural sounds and ascribe them to something paranormal even though it's not the case.
No, there is absolutely no chance that you might be buried alive. There is paperwork/documentation, permits, and whatnot that needs to happen that extends the time between death and burial to the point that it is just not going to happen. When you're buried, you are dead.
There have been cases of people being found alive in a mortuary cooler after being pronounced dead by a hospital or nursing home. There have been cases where it was clear that someone actually died in the mortuary cooler, not prior to being put into it. These are extremely rare.
Regardless, by the time you're put into the ground, you will most certainly be dead.
There may be an exception to this in some cultures or religions where the body must be buried within a specific short timeframe.
If it brings you some peace, know that anyone who deals with the dead on a regular basis knows what a dead body looks and feels like, and if you happened to be alive when we placed you in your coffin or casket, we would certainly recognize it and call emergency services.
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