Just to address the homicidal thing since it seems to be so attention grabbing: I don't think there are many human beings who have never had a homicidal thought of any kind. Anger, Rage, Violence, are simply what humans are. I realize the brain just jumps to the worst case scenario, and that's terrifying, but let's also be realistic and honest.
Relationships ... I don't think can be responsibly pursued by a suicidal person. I just find the genuine version of a relationship to be serious and complicated and maybe even impossible, where as friendships can be more gradual and casual and less serious. So I'm okay with acquaintances and that sort of thing, but I would not actively seek out a romantic partner if I knew I was going to die. Obviously so much of a person's pain is in the form of loneliness, desire for security, intimacy, validation, to offer your best to another person in a really special way, all those peak human things-- so it's totally understandable that people seek relationships hoping that'll "fix" the suicidal problem. But I just don't think that really happens, and what often does happen is it just creates more suffering.
Relationships themselves are problematic even without the suicidal element, basically, and with it, they just become a not nice thing to do to another person even if the positives of it offer to make us feel good at least temporarily. Some people simply find themselves in relationships and grow more suicidal, sometimes married people are suicidal, people with kids, and this is of course all unfortunate and tragic with only victims involved. Just a very complicated struggle. So... yeah, it just seems wise to avoid that if one can.
I think a lot of this has to do with a confusion about what love is. People want love in a selfish way. Because they feel like something is missing and so they go searching for that. But what they find is always some ideal fictional character, never an actual person. Why? Because they do that too. They never go, "Hi, I'm someone with a void and flaws and here they are" (they don't even know themselves that well, they may know some of it, but all this stuff is just too buried under masks). The other person does this too. And their love is based on those two masks. It can't ever work genuinely that way, because those masks must eventually break. Fake love can work, sure. Two people can just believe a mutual lie, but who wants that? Humans are just not very well designed for genuine love. Not when they're too smart and aware of countless problems, not when they can create intense fantasies. Fantasies about who they are, who others are, and what their happiness will finally look like(the goalposts constantly shift-- we always want more). Actual love has to go beyond those kinds of problems to work. Do you know how difficult that is?
'don't see the value/utility in a mixed discussion', 'not productive', it doesn't have to be any of those things. it's just a post asking a question, suicidal ppl can reply from their pov & homicidal from theirs. it's y'all w ur pearl clutching making the thread 3 pages long when only maybe 6 replies are actually to the question, lmao. where's the productiveness & value in that?
