As s suicidal/homicidal person, What are your opinions on relationships?

[kuniwan]

I know this varies a lot from person to person, but I do enjoy the relationships I have. Yes, nobody is truly respectful/loyal, but it doesn't render the relationships I have a guise to me because people aren't disingenuous to the same degree and they're capable of improving. Like it's not going to be perfect obvi, but people can be good at it.

However, I do find myself losing a lot of people I was close to because I just don't have the energy to maintain time for them. I can go months without talking to anyone if put to it because I'll only focus on how I don't want to be here anymore. Talking to others knocks the wind out of me to the point where sending a text is difficult. I'm not really interested in forming any new close connections right now because of this.

 

[Ashe]

All they ever do is cause pain for myself. Everyone always leaves me for one reason or another but for whatever reason I'll be forever stuck in the brutal cycle of wanting someone's warmth just to face rejection.

 

[Melancholic Muse]

I'd call 'em both a blessing and a curse. I tend to look at existence in a way that's an awful lot in line with the likes of Emil Cioran: there's a part that craves nonexistence from the perennial torments life dishes out, no matter how mundane, but in that time I've managed to come across people that I hold so dear that it's like finding diamonds in a sea of mud. Many of whom are also fraught with their own foibles and struggles that it's hard not to feel a kinship with them.

But for as much as they give me solace... well it's not like my mind or life as a whole is any kinder irrespective of these little slivers of luck no matter how precious they are to me. So it's created a strange sort of paradox, somehow years of pent up anger, frustration and despair manage to coexist besides an undercurrent of genuine love and affection that I haven't felt for any others.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Not everyone with these thoughts is a maniac who feels nothing

actually, to comment on what you said, as my bf pointed out the other day, i only want the end of the human race because i think its whats best for the world. we destroy our planet and each other with little to no remorse (just look at this site, the reason most of us are here). being homicidal, isnt always a negative. whats negative is people being assholes.
(in other words, if there were less dicks in the world i wouldnt be homicidal, but thats not going to happen lol)

 

[Aim]

Kinda messed up to shame people for what they can't control, you would think people on a suicide website would be more understanding but I guess not; assholes pervade.

Yupp. And im sorry. looking back I accted like an ignorant asshole.

However, now that I gained a bit more insight, then its way easier to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Or to get a better understanding of things. However. A big Sorry and hopefully I didn't offend anyone way to bad.

 

[Henryk]

I find it a little worrying to place the suicidal next to the homicidal, but that's okay.

Regarding the issue of relationships, it all depends on your degree of empathy with others because if you are willing to have a relationship with someone with the CTB in mind, you have to understand that you will cause pain to that person. In this case, I think it is somewhat selfish for you to relate in these circumstances because you are only seeing your side and ignoring the pain that the other will feel.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Proof that homicidal tendencies can be normal:

 

[sserafim]

Brilliant explanation, with the masks; that's what I see at least

Yeah, relationships with sufferers are different from those with pleasure-seekers. Most people run to pleasure & run from suffering. Otherwise they're like Hypnodog here:

Case study: I was talking today with a suicidal friend, whose root problems are biological. She has caring people around her... but to them, "love" is about their feelings. Not effective action: feelings. The more intense their feelings, the "deeper their love". And they try to buy her expensive pleasures (even if she doesn't want them)

They DO NOT want to hear about her suffering; one of them avoids it at all costs. It traumatizes their wimpy little hearts. Makes them cry wildly, or say in subtle ways "I don't wanna hear this", etc. Their grand declarations of love low-key piss her off

It's easy pleasing pleasure-seekers — being charming, ready with a little joke, song or hug... But suffering's different: great suffering is more bad, than great pleasure is good. For sufferers, you ideally can bring effective ACTION — customized to the details of someone's problem. Or at least sit in the trenches with them

What else ya gonna do in life?


Yeah, when you intervene in a case where a guy attacks underaged girls, of COURSE I must be willing to escalate — from simple requests, up to life-threatening violence — to morally resolve the problem

One of my smartest friends was a hitman & debt enforcer. People are blind to all the violence & genocide around them. In fact, they're fine with murderers if they're "uniformed assassins", as Mark Twain put it. What a flexible morality...

And I had to learn how to joke with genocide supporters here. Like, if I don't like genocide, then I'd better become an activist. But there's some value in interacting with such people

Can I hire your friend to kill me?

 

[SexyIncél]

Can I hire your friend to kill me?

Sadly, no. He's now in a far more lucrative, safer & mainstream-respectable industry. I briefly considered similar, but knew his response; and anyhow I preferred to simply ctb via shotgun

He found me irrational when I was suicidal, though even in retrospect I think he misunderstood rationality

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Personally feel nothing for anyone, its entirely blank.

Literally the same emotion as sitting in a waiting room. There are some people id prefer to see dead but it isn't worth the effort to me to do anything.

Not that I'd be against it, i just prefer ease of life especially since im sourcing concoctions.

Bit harder being on the run tbh