Discussion As a depressed / suicidal person, if you could have anything in the world to help with your recovery, what would that be?

[Hitakiri]

Asking this because my normie non depressed friend keeps trying to say "find a meaning to live then" but I feel that the only thing I get really emotionally ripped apart by is thinking of other depressed people going through the same thoughts as me……

Personally, i would wish that quality (ie from doctors) therapy was more accessible (ie cheaper AND could be accessible like once a week or twice a month at least) for everyone who needs it. When I was a student, cost was a major prohibitive factor for me to seek therapy (basically my parents didn't care, and while my school had free therapy, the waiting list was horrendously long. Plus this mental health record will be accessible to faculty in the school, oh joy.) but ofc I'm just saying and have no clue how to even go about this because of capitalistic society, how economies work and yada yada

Tldr: title.

I can tell you have deep empathy for those who are in pain. I believe the only real meaning in life, is the meaning we ourselves create. In prison, there's this saying - "Do your own time." Don't do everyone else's. Be there for friends, of course. But the burdens of those around you, aren't your burdens to carry. If you try to carry it all, it'll crush you.

I think it's better to lose something in the pursuit of something, than to lose everything in the pursuit of nothing. For me, I live for the little moments. I have a dream of genuine love. To love, and be loved. I've come close at times, but loss after loss weighs heavily upon my heart. Still, I want to try. I want to reach that dream. Until I do, I keep myself occupied. Games to play, movies to watch, books to read. I go out with friends on occasion, but I'm introverted and mostly spend my time in other worlds.

In an ideal world, therapy would be accessible and affordable. Sadly, this world is not ideal. That doesn't mean we can't partake in activities that are therapeutic for us, and help us break free from all the monotony.

i'm in a relationship with someone i love and who loves me back and treats me right, but im still suicidal.

A relationship won't outright fix the state of our minds. It isn't a cure for depression, just something that aids in mending loneliness. Still, it makes life more bearable. Suicidal thoughts can be a lifelong struggle, but having someone to struggle with? That can make all the difference.

 

[witheringDreams]

A relationship won't outright fix the state of our minds. It isn't a cure for depression, just something that aids in mending loneliness. Still, it makes life more bearable. Suicidal thoughts can be a lifelong struggle, but having someone to struggle with? That can make all the difference.

This thought scares me a little because I've mostly believed overcoming loneliness and escaping toxic environments would fix things.

 

[Hitakiri]

This thought scares me a little because I've mostly believed overcoming loneliness and escaping toxic environments would fix things.

It can. Depression is different in everyone. If loneliness is one of the major contributing factors to your depression, overcoming it will go a long way to mending your fractured heart. The same goes with persevering through toxic environments.

Personally, I feel like the best version of myself, when I have someone to love and feel loved by. Being there for them gives me a sense of purpose I otherwise lack. I'm still bipolar. I still have PTSD. I'll still have bad days. But when in a relationship, the good outweighs the bad, and my outlook tends to be more hopeful. I also overcame a toxic environment. Put down roots, and have been living peacefully in one place for years. It's definitely aided in my peace of mind. Dare to dream. Keep pursuing these goals of yours, and I hope it brings you the peace you long for.

Remember: Bad days can still come, even when everything is going right. That doesn't mean we have to give in to them and give up. Keep moving forward.

 

[Looking]

Relieving some of the pain associated with my appearance.

Edit: Yes, I meant relieving- Thanks so much for correcting me lmao! I didn't even notice the mistake.

 

[tuyu]

Reliving some of the pain associated with my appearance.

Tbh this is not too difficult. I presume you mean "relieving"?

Stuff like plastic surgery (I hope no one debates with me about this here… eh. I'm pro choice for everything in life, I suppose), developing a sense of style / fashion, new hairstyle, getting braces, and hitting the gym + reading up about nutrition and applying those info can help :) probably the only unchangeable thing is height and some other stuff (nsfw?)… but tbh everything else I've mentioned before + personality probably offsets these "unchangeable things".

 

[lovergone]

i think i would benefit immensely from being able to speak for myself, and love from people who are supposed to be supportive.

 

[Looking]

Tbh this is not too difficult. I presume you mean "relieving"?

Stuff like plastic surgery (I hope no one debates with me about this here… eh. I'm pro choice for everything in life, I suppose), developing a sense of style / fashion, new hairstyle, getting braces, and hitting the gym + reading up about nutrition and applying those info can help :) probably the only unchangeable thing is height and some other stuff (nsfw?)… but tbh everything else I've mentioned before + personality probably offsets these "unchangeable things".

The biggest problem is money - I'm fairly educated on everything you've just listed, but I'm really not in a good place to spend money currently. Just to give you an idea, all of the clothes I currently own don't fit me because they've been given to me for free by random people in my life (Mainly hand-me-downs or clothes they didn't want).

Gym memberships / nutrition / etc isn't too money intensive as one would expect, but they're things I do already.

 

[tuyu]

I can tell you have deep empathy for those who are in pain. I believe the only real meaning in life, is the meaning we ourselves create. In prison, there's this saying - "Do your own time." Don't do everyone else's. Be there for friends, of course. But the burdens of those around you, aren't your burdens to carry. If you try to carry it all, it'll crush you.

I think it's better to lose something in the pursuit of something, than to lose everything in the pursuit of nothing. For me, I live for the little moments. I have a dream of genuine love. To love, and be loved. I've come close at times, but loss after loss weighs heavily upon my heart. Still, I want to try. I want to reach that dream. Until I do, I keep myself occupied. Games to play, movies to watch, books to read. I go out with friends on occasion, but I'm introverted and mostly spend my time in other worlds.

In an ideal world, therapy would be accessible and affordable. Sadly, this world is not ideal. That doesn't mean we can't partake in activities that are therapeutic for us, and help us break free from all the monotony.

A relationship won't outright fix the state of our minds. It isn't a cure for depression, just something that aids in mending loneliness. Still, it makes life more bearable. Suicidal thoughts can be a lifelong struggle, but having someone to struggle with? That can make all the difference.

Yep… when I say I'm emotionally ripped apart, it means that I kind of see myself in them. Sometimes I talk to younger kids (or rather, teens) on discord and they vent about their life, I just felt so sad for them that their parents treat them badly or whatever else like struggles with studying. Sometimes some other people offer them advice and say stuff like, oh just change your perspective about your struggle with study, life is not all about school etc and I just feel like, sometimes it's not that deep and when someone is struggling, they literally may just need surface level help. So I give out stuff like study tips. I remember even tutoring a classmate once and helped them to score well for their finals in spite of their shitty mid term grades. Probably one of the proudest moments I felt in my life

Although I do feel satisfied with myself at those certain moments, ehhhhh I'm personally probably on the other side of the fence, I'm a big picture kind of person and sometimes miss out on small details (definitely not very grateful for them as well, I know there's stuff like gratitude exercises but honestly too sappy for me).

The biggest problem is money - I'm fairly educated on everything you've just listed, but I'm really not in a good place to spend money currently. Just to give you an idea, all of the clothes I currently own don't fit me because they've been given to me for free by random people in my life (Mainly hand-me-downs or clothes they didn't want).

Gym memberships / nutrition / etc isn't too money intensive as one would expect, but they're things I do already.

Well if you're already hitting the gym and having the right nutrition, then kudos to you! You're already one step ahead

In the end the main issue (as with most other things) is money… sigh.

 

[acaiblueberry]

I'd benefit if there was a therapist I didn't feel I had to lie to. If I could be honest without fear of being put in a psych ward, I might actually get the help I need.

 

[Hitakiri]

Yep… when I say I'm emotionally ripped apart, it means that I kind of see myself in them. Sometimes I talk to younger kids (or rather, teens) on discord and they vent about their life, I just felt so sad for them that their parents treat them badly or whatever else like struggles with studying. Sometimes some other people offer them advice and say stuff like, oh just change your perspective about your struggle with study, life is not all about school etc and I just feel like, sometimes it's not that deep and when someone is struggling, they literally may just need surface level help. So I give out stuff like study tips. I remember even tutoring a classmate once and helped them to score well for their finals in spite of their shitty mid term grades. Probably one of the proudest moments I felt in my life

Although I do feel satisfied with myself at those certain moments, ehhhhh I'm personally probably on the other side of the fence, I'm a big picture kind of person and sometimes miss out on small details (definitely not very grateful for them as well, I know there's stuff like gratitude exercises but honestly too sappy for me).

You have to be a big picture kind of person, to really appreciate the little moments that get lost in the cracks. It's like looking at a puzzle, and seeing all the little pieces that make the whole. With even one piece missing, the puzzle is incomplete. The more missing pieces, the more the image is full of holes. All these empty little spaces add up. They exacerbate a depression that already exists.

Think of depression as a cancer. And the little moments, as medicine to aid in recovery. Without them, you end up slowly rotting. As for gratitude exercises? Never been the type for that. For me, it's more about whether a moment is decent, or it isn't. Finding a new song that I resonate with and enjoy listening to, is a little moment worth having and worth appreciating.

Being there for others is another little moment. The way you helped that kid study for his finals, and he passed. How proud you felt. An amalgamation of little bits of work here and there, tiny puzzle pieces that ultimately paid off and painted a beautiful image. I'm sure the student was grateful. You're right, sometimes people just need surface level help. It can make all the difference.

 

[heartbroken12]

A time machine… :( I don't want to go but dealing with irreparable damage. It's hell.

 

[alpris13]

Asking this because my normie non depressed friend keeps trying to say "find a meaning to live then" but I feel that the only thing I get really emotionally ripped apart by is thinking of other depressed people going through the same thoughts as me……

Personally, i would wish that quality (ie from doctors) therapy was more accessible (ie cheaper AND could be accessible like once a week or twice a month at least) for everyone who needs it. When I was a student, cost was a major prohibitive factor for me to seek therapy (basically my parents didn't care, and while my school had free therapy, the waiting list was horrendously long. Plus this mental health record will be accessible to faculty in the school, oh joy.) but ofc I'm just saying and have no clue how to even go about this because of capitalistic society, how economies work and yada yada

Tldr: title.

Personally, i would want an isolated little cabin somewhere where i'm not subject to anyones standards but my own. A safe haven, essentially. A place where i can go at my own pace, have time and space to think, and not a soul in the world to confront, belittle or judge me in my actions, for as long as i'd see fit. Maybe it could come with a button to stop time, so that i can plan ahead or just take a break from life for a few eons, haha

 

[failtoimagine]

I'm a grown woman so this has zero chance of happening, but a new mom with unconditional love for me.

 

[orca87]

a fresh start

 

[Citruscine]

Having been to a remote indigenous community for research -- a society where the capitalist grind doesn't exist.
Imagining a life where you can fish from the sea and get fruits outside, where you can simply share and trade things with your neighbours, and devote your life to making craft.

 

[tiredangelgirl]

I'd like a couple of close friends, since loneliness is only making me feel worse. I'd also just like a better world/society— No discrimination or bigotry, help for those who need it, etc.

if your title is a front bottoms reference then can we please be friends??? lonely af over here too
easy, money for sure

 

[Moonomyth]

Enough of a monetary windfall that I wasn't being ground down under the stress of 60+ hours of work a week and could concentrate even a bit more energy on myself.

I just want my weekends back.

 

[raindrops]

Money. Money. Money. Whoever says it don't make you happy can transfere it over to me then.

 

[Lonelyhotcake]

I would like to have normal parents (they are over-protective and religious).

So, I could be myself and do a lot of stuff without being worried about them or God getting angry.

 

[Source Energy]

My SP. Worth more than treasures, than all the money in the world, than an eternity of lifetimes.

 

[ibupro]

someone i can open up to, someone who understands me, someone who lives closer to me so i can visit them and sit quietly with them.

 

[TheTranstarEngineer]

Something meaningful to do with my life

 

[cherry7]

I'm a grown woman so this has zero chance of happening, but a new mom with unconditional love for me.

Perhaps you can find a mentor, coach or therapist as an alternative, someone that speaks directly to your heart

a fresh start

Me too!

 

[drmihilo]

Gun ownership

 

[WaitingToGo]

The reincarnation of my partner and our life together. There's nothing else

 

[jamie_]

Some honesty, a conversation without gaslighting, a bit of closure. Might help with the feeling that I've been stepped over and left to die, left to feel like I imagine everything.

 

[y'ffre]

Erase my memory so maybe I won't hate myself.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Money & a way to erase memories

 

[Shadowlord900]

A real living Mew.

I would be willing to put up with my coeliac disease and insomnia issues if I just had a real life giant Mew to cuddle with.

 

[chloramine]

If I could shape things to have the best shot at recovery (I don't think there's any guarantee it would work) I'd need:

Friends I trusted and was comfortable with- preferably living nearby
My own space that was safe
Easy access to therapy? I've been doing therapy and I'm not entirely sure it helps but to be fair it can't do much about a lot of my problems
Not having to worry about money or doing all of the stupid little things like taxes
Sports? Sports definitely help
No expectation or obligation to interact with my family

I think that's it? I'd be more willing to try things like medication in that scenario because I wouldn't have to worry about my family finding out. It's an unrealistic idea, but it'd be a lot easier to try without things constantly being triggered. Ultimately I'd probably still want to die but maybe in the right scenario I could be okay with living.