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illmissmydogthatsit

illmissmydogthatsit

Member
May 12, 2023
35
A romantic partner would save my life. Not having one (with few prospects of getting one in the future) is one of the main reasons I want to ctb. If I had somebody to share my life with right now, I'd probably have a remission of suicidal thoughts at least for the time being.

If not a romantic partner, a cure for fucking tinnitus. My other reason for ctb.
 
juxtajuno

juxtajuno

bpd qweenie <3
Jan 25, 2023
61
i just wish i were able to afford therapy and medication. medication is going to be trial and error but i at least want a professional to talk to. i don't have insurance so it's especially difficult to get therapy now. i thought about admitting myself to a mental hospital to get the help that i need, but i don't want to lose my job or family/friends over it.
 
R

runningoutofoptions

Member
May 17, 2023
6
antidepressants that work, a healthy body, money, a time machine, a new mom, a do-over
 
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zeldalover

zeldalover

Everybody agrees 👏🏼
May 16, 2023
96
Hope. Actual pure, real, hope. Not the kind of hope I have to fake to everyone, including myself.
 
psp3000

psp3000

trying to keep myself busy.
May 20, 2023
1,056
a friend or a romantic partner, someone who's honest and makes me feel seen and heard and doesn't just want to use me or just have me around just as a last resort or abandons me all the time

also a cat and money and not having the fear that something bad is going to happen every time I have a streak of good days and the ability to forget whatever memories I want to forget

and being able to start from the beginning again but as an entirely different person where I can exist and pursue things I no longer enjoy or do and live my life out the way I want without anyone or anything getting in the way or stopping me because almost everything I used to or try to enjoy now isn't enjoyable because they just feel like distractions rather than hobbies or fun activities
 
R

Regen

I stay in my power
Aug 20, 2020
350
Money.

I could buy help for every parts of my life.
 
g56f32Z4n8#uExEuU*@

g56f32Z4n8#uExEuU*@

Member
May 7, 2023
22
Freedom, it's the only thing worth aspiring to. Money won't solve many problems. A romantic partner will create more trouble than it addresses. Meaning is not worth seeking, because one can never find it. But if you have freedom you don't need anything else, and freedom includes the freedom of CTB if things go wrong. So peaceful.
 
SpiderLink

SpiderLink

they/them
Apr 3, 2023
353
The only thing I want to be free from my suffering
 
Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
453
Such an interesting question. Enough money to not have my life decisions guided by need. Stuff to do that gives my life meaning or peace more days than not. Finding a way for my life to not revolve around my eating disorder. My cat, who is already doing everything she can.
 
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Marine

Marine

Make love win against fear 🤍
Jul 5, 2020
582
A boyfriend.

Also being skinny, defect-less / damage-less / repaired / regenerated, youthful / rejuvenated and beautiful (and attractive to who I'm attracted to).
 
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nothingbutmybest

nothingbutmybest

Student
May 1, 2023
112
If I really, really could have anything I'd like omnipotence!!! Though that's probably cheating so the closest thing would be money not because I want to entertain myself with the money but because I could help people with money.
 
The_spooky_name_guy

The_spooky_name_guy

Consume, consume, die..
Apr 30, 2023
520
I wish i had a grand quest, the intellect and will to march head first into it.

Instead i was almost there and my mind blew it, destroyed it all because it couldn't fill dopamine quick enough.

Such is the way living as a hairless ape.
 
Kasumi

Kasumi

tired
Mar 3, 2023
477
A safe place where I can live freely, money to pay for medical procedures, and a better health care system that actually tries to help me instead of making me jump through hoop after hoop.
Also not having the genes of my family ig so that the way I look actually matches my personality better.
And a bestie that is going through life with me, to have fun with, to easy my anxiety, and be someone I can 100% trust and rely on.
 
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S

SetMeFree11

Member
Jun 5, 2023
47
A time machine so i can go back and unscrew my life
 
EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
640
my very own child
 
deathLiberation

deathLiberation

Student
Oct 31, 2021
161
Money.

A huge amount of available money so i dont have to work for money a single day in my life, so i can just travel and work on my projects.
 
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tora

tora

lonelycity
Jun 11, 2023
191
Asking this because my normie non depressed friend keeps trying to say "find a meaning to live then" but I feel that the only thing I get really emotionally ripped apart by is thinking of other depressed people going through the same thoughts as me……

Personally, i would wish that quality (ie from doctors) therapy was more accessible (ie cheaper AND could be accessible like once a week or twice a month at least) for everyone who needs it. When I was a student, cost was a major prohibitive factor for me to seek therapy (basically my parents didn't care, and while my school had free therapy, the waiting list was horrendously long. Plus this mental health record will be accessible to faculty in the school, oh joy.) but ofc I'm just saying and have no clue how to even go about this because of capitalistic society, how economies work and yada yada

Tldr: title.
definitely money. my top reasons for wanting to ctb all have to do with my financial state. I can't afford therapy, can't afford a doctor for my chronic illness, can't afford rent, can't afford weekly groceries, or really anything. if I had enough money to buy a house and work less and get the medical help I need, I know for sure I would be happier. if i was financially comfortable, I wouldn't be on this website.
 
SunnyDay_NoSunshine

SunnyDay_NoSunshine

Member
Jun 11, 2023
36
Time Machine that I can use to prevent myself from getting into a relationship that grew bad over time and I could not get out in time.

Or more realistically knowing to read the red flags that were always there but I just could not read them. Ignored them all due to optimistic never ending hope that was am built with. Yes blind hope (and by extension love) can royally screw things up as well.
 
sadsadinfp

sadsadinfp

Member
Aug 18, 2019
54
Someone with whom I feel an emotional connection, really, and trust enough to discuss my feelings and problems, whether it be a friend or a romantic partner. Twould be nice
 
R

realname

Member
May 8, 2023
53
honestly, a pet. or a romantic partner. something to look after and care for. I'm clearly not loveable enough for a bf or gf and don't have the money for a pet, but yk. if only right?
Yea my therapist essentially asked me this and only thing I could think of was a cat....no money for self let alone pet tho
 
B

beige_wasteland

Member
Apr 21, 2023
7
I agree with the time machine...I would love to be able to go back and make different choices. Money can't buy happiness. Love cannot be trusted (at least for me, maybe I'm just unloveable). Pets are nice but not a reason to live really.
 
reismisery

reismisery

existing is tiring
Jun 10, 2023
13
Asking this because my normie non depressed friend keeps trying to say "find a meaning to live then" but I feel that the only thing I get really emotionally ripped apart by is thinking of other depressed people going through the same thoughts as me……

Personally, i would wish that quality (ie from doctors) therapy was more accessible (ie cheaper AND could be accessible like once a week or twice a month at least) for everyone who needs it. When I was a student, cost was a major prohibitive factor for me to seek therapy (basically my parents didn't care, and while my school had free therapy, the waiting list was horrendously long. Plus this mental health record will be accessible to faculty in the school, oh joy.) but ofc I'm just saying and have no clue how to even go about this because of capitalistic society, how economies work and yada yada

Tldr: title.
being able to be how i want without judgement or feeling as if i'm going to burn in hell/religious guilt. i really want to be able to love who i want and express myself but i cant. i also wished i had more emotionally supportive people/family in my life
 
lucines

lucines

Barely even human
Jan 1, 2019
27
A place where I can live by myself, I've been wanting to move out for years at this point but the housing crisis in my country has kept me trapped. I don't see myself making it out of this year alive if I don't find something soon, I can't stand living here. Aside from that, maybe a loving partner? But I don't think romantic love is something I'll ever experience in this lifetime, countless experiences have proven that I'm unloveable and unattractive so I've accepted that I'll likely spend the remainer of my life alone.
 
fettyboofer

fettyboofer

Owari da
Jun 12, 2023
10
Some friends and/or a romantic partner, but I guess only people who do well in life get rewarded with those.
 
voc_89

voc_89

Student
Apr 10, 2023
134
everything good turns to shit eventually. Money runs out. Lovers scorn you or recoil when they see the real you. Looks fade. Kids grow up and realise the parent is just another broken human (I don't have kids btw). Etc. Not sure anything can help me recover. I'm just going through life.

P.s sorry for being so depressive...
 
rabid_aspie_yokai

rabid_aspie_yokai

fluffy nonhuman
Mar 23, 2023
60
A fully androgynous, slim body + my desired g3nitals (I'm trans nonbinary). I'm working on the body tho
 
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