Are you unloveable?

[Deleted member 8975]

I am unlovable. No one has ever shown a serious romantic interest in me whatsoever. Has never happened. Will never happened. It's a fact of life. I am a failed experiment posing as a being. A breathing, walking corpse. I would like my dirt blanket but I am living for the sake of someone else at this time.

 

[D&D]

I dont believe in the platitude that everyone is loveable. I also dont believe in the cliche that you have to love yourself first in order for others to love you. I like everyone to participate honestly with what makes them loveable or not.

I too do not believe in the platitude that 'everyone is loveable' but I do believe that everyone could be loved by someone ... history is full of 'monsters' that were deeply loved by someone. The worn out cliché 'you have to love yourself first in order for other to love you' always seemed poorly worded to me. There is no shortage of people who love themselves first and foremost ... to the extent of narcissisms. I think the original idea meant to be conveyed by that saying was/is to be open to receive love of another. Because when we do not 'love' ourselves - we are closed to receive, or even to recognise the love of another human. Either romantic or not. These are just my thoughts.

 

[Sanva]

I don't think I'm necessarily a terrible person who doesn't deserve to be loved or anything. But I think my autism and lack of social skills make it so I only attract people who want to manipulate me, not people who would be interested in a healthy relationship. because who would realistically want a girlfriend that can't be normal and fun when hanging out with their friends and family. And sometimes I do feel like I'm very selfish. So I am, in a way, inherently unloveable.

 

[ClownMe]

I'd say im unlovable due to society's high standards, my brain can't stand this existence so I can't be a normal functioning member of society.

 

[Midgardsorm]

[Removed]

You are definitely very lovable.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

You are definitely very lovable.

You are incredibly lovable @Midgardsorm

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Yes. I'm a monster. That's why he left. That's why my bestie left. That's why I'm alone. That's why I knew the pain of Frankenstein's monster

[Removed]

Please don't feel that way. You offer so much to him - your love. Don't see yourself as a burden please.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I forgot to say why I'm not lovable. Well, first of all, the very obvious reason, bc I'm dumb AF.:):) and my temper is just impossible to bear with. I'm annoying and self-absorbed. I'm whiny. I'm irresponsible and unreliable. I'm a crazy sad little bitch :):):) There's probably something else I'm forgetting to mention

I think you are me. I am all those things you mentioned but also have numerous physical health problems that interfere with doing 'normal' things that others do (going out to eat, making plans and being dependable to keep those plans) and that puts most people off sooner or later. I'm also physically unattractive, I'm cynical and negative (at least outwardly) about most things in life, I am boring and have little interesting to talk about what I've done in life. I'm also broke, needy, clingy, and I have to reiterate that I'm irresponsible - moneywise, for sure - and VERY whiny and self-absorbed. I also can be very mean and say horrible things when I'm angry or stressed or anxious...any or all of which I am most of the time.

There really is nothing loveable, or even just likeable, about me.

 

[Midgardsorm]

@OpheliasFlowers Oh come on, you've been very kind here.

I also can be very mean and say horrible things when I'm angry or stressed or anxious...any or all of which I am most of the time.

I get this. I sometimes say that I snap into a "potentially dangerous persona", I make massive usage of sarcasm and irony and it's difficult to control.

I already called people afterwards to apologize. I don't actually offend, but I say things that i shouldn't.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not sure how this topic relates to suicide, but I know for certain that I am not likeable in any way. I am nothing, I am already dead but I am still breathing. I do not care, I do not want to be loved. If you love anything it is just something to lose and cause you more pain.

 

[TheEndTimes]

I worked very hard to believe that I'm unlovable and unworthy of love. It's a mantra that I repeat to myself constantly, but someone is making me reconsider that stance.

Well, I ain't always right, but I've never been wrong
Seldom turns out the way it does in a song
Once in a while, you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right

 

[WonderingSoul]

From a societal point of view I am unlovable in a lot of ways, from my mental illness to my niche interests.

 

[ket]

no, I'm great.

world's tough though, insurmountably so sometimes.

 

[cambrai33]

I'm loved by many apparently but just not by myself. I love all others within reason and it's hard for me to see so many that don't feel any love towards them

 

[maakies]

I am loveable, I suppose. I have a partner who does and it's very hard to end the relationship. Many friends. Unfortunately, this does not dissuade me very easily. Much of my reasoning is inner turmoil that is separate from who loves me.

I'm loved by many apparently but just not by myself. I love all others within reason and it's hard for me to see so many that don't feel any love towards them

Pretty much this - though I'm pretty selective about who I love

no, I'm great.

world's tough though, insurmountably so sometimes.

total aside but good user - I'm always stocked

 

[TriggerHappy]

Unloveable...? Completely. Maybe. But lately maybe not -in spite of myself.. The master of self destruction and the slave to hope...

 

[medjooled11]

Interesting votes. I don't believe everyone is lovable. Loving and being lovable take work, and not everyone is able to do the work. Even if one does the work, it takes persistence.

I have never loved a human being, including myself. Love is not necessary for empathy or compassion.

 

[MindFrog]

I do feel loved but I'm not well liked. And the only people that love me do it out of responsibility.

It felt like a slap in the face, going outside and finding that out myself.

But I'm just happy I learned that sooner than later .

 

[Niko66]

Well I am awkward and people are not interested with putting up with that and getting to know me. Idk if I'd be lovable given the chance or not but I certainly never will be so it doesn't matter. People have shown me time and time again that I am just not important. And as my illnesses got worse I have become more and more a hollow husk of s person. I think it's too late for me for that.

 

[demuic]

I too do not believe in the platitude that 'everyone is loveable' but I do believe that everyone could be loved by someone ... history is full of 'monsters' that were deeply loved by someone. The worn out cliché 'you have to love yourself first in order for other to love you' always seemed poorly worded to me. There is no shortage of people who love themselves first and foremost ... to the extent of narcissisms. I think the original idea meant to be conveyed by that saying was/is to be open to receive love of another. Because when we do not 'love' ourselves - we are closed to receive, or even to recognise the love of another human. Either romantic or not. These are just my thoughts.

This is how I see things.

I do not believe being loved by someone has any relation to a person's "actual" worth or value or really says anything about them. It is merely the circumstances of life that some people are surrounded by adoring masses while others are bereft of any real and true warmth and compassion. I have seen many psychopaths, narcissists, and related malefactors with no shortage of romantic suitors or "friends" who they are willing to take advantage of, or who will even take advantage of them. I do not see these people as "loveable", but they are loved by someone. They may have something to offer someone, which is what the other party seeks, and that fact exists independent of their character or worthiness.

Many relationships, romantic, or platonic, are illusiary and not based on love. Either person in question will disappear if they feel the other person does not have anything to offer them. They would have no qualms stabbing each other in the back if they had something to gain from it. There are many people who are in relationships only to fulfill some need or deficit within themselves, and who the other person actually is is irrelvant to fulfilling the role of "romantic partner", etc. True or unconditional love is the rarest thing there it is. Few people are willing to put up with someone who does not offer something to them, whatever that might be, for better or worse.

As with a lot of things, it is a possibility for anyone, but that does not mean it will actually happen.

 

[Insomniac]

when you check "I'm lovable" to comfort yourself because you're about to cry knowing that.. oops

 

[Snake of Eden]

I refuse to love myself when I am not given good reasons to. It should be the other way around

 

[Bleak]

I think people can still love a memory of me. My current self is pretty much unloveable.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

I'm 31 and I've never had a boyfriend. My Family and friends love me, but I think it's safe to say that romantically I'm unloveable.

 

[Orchid_Passed]

Every person in my life that I've met either felt I was too dull or weird to want to get to know, or ended up abandoning me after a while.
I think that speaks for itself. How does the saying go? If you meet one asshole you've met an asshole, but if everyone you meet is an asshole it might be on you. Something like that

 

[cambrai33]

Love is a false construct designed to manipulate our sense of self. How many times have you told someone you loved them but didn't actually mean it, you were just appeasing their need for validation.

Really is a mugs game and we are being played

 

[Duochrome-Seahorse]

I feel like I could be lovable but there's something about me, an aura of some sort, where people like to talk to me but I was never planned to be with them for the long run. I'm always the one pit stop until someone finds a gf they actually like. the older I get the more I realize this and cry myself to sleep. I really wish someone came up to me and told me how much they want me to be in their life and are willing for the both of us to go thru our independent lives together. that to me is a dream come true.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am unlovable, but it may be because I don't "love" myself. Then again, I have no reason to love myself, so why would anyone else have a reason to love me?

 

[m_h_d]

I am unloveable - of all my relationships the only women I have truly hurt have been the ones I have truly loved.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I'm unloveable due to my many social and mental issues. In the very few relationships I've had, most of the women have been with me out of pity, and knowing that hurts more than a rejection. And in the ones where they seem genuinely interested in me, somehow I find a way to screw the situation.