Discussion Are we safe?

[throwaway123]

The family member who came here was not the mother, she just posted on facebook captures of the thread, which is not deleted nor closed.

can you give us the link?

 

[AnnonyBox]

My condolences to the family, if I were still religious I would say 'at least she's in a better place,' but if this was her choice, its not our place nor theirs to judge, it was her life and she made her own decisions. Everyone here is aware that leaving this life will cause pain, but its not our place to tell or decide for them one way or the other. Hopefully this will help people realize they need to reach out to support and help those they love, because for some of us the suffering is all too real. But if anyone would rather see this site shuttered, simply to ease their mind, then they are not only without principle, but without heart as well. Far too often have I met people here with debilitating conditions just seeking relief. I have seen the words and pleas of those who feel confined to a world of bleak and unimagineable torment find the sympathy and support they lack in their real world interactions. For the principled state of freedom of collective thought, expression, and speech, this forum must stay alive. For the first word censured, the first thought forbidden, chains us all irrevokably. Yes, this site is in a way the last stop on the train that is the desperaate struggle of human life, but it is also far more often simply a stop in one's journey. I have seen more people come away from this site with a sense of hope, and a purpose to help the pro-choice (meaning right to die) movement, who realize they have a chance to make a better life, and need to help those who unfortunately can't do so. That very sentiment is at the heart of this community, and if it is allowed to be silenced, then I fear the vast good this site has done for those in desperate situations will end with it, and not only will it have the consequence of more people eventually leaving themselves in debilitating situations, without a humane way to end their suffering, it will also doom many more to a premature demise as they find themselves without the lone voice in the darkness saying "I understand, let me help" without doing so for a disingenuous or ideological motivation. To die humanely is hard, to live with the support of those who know your pain is even harder, and I'm glad this site exists to stand up to the challenge.

 

[Meretlein]

can you give us the link?

Pm me

 

[Ruffian]

Yes, that was very sobering to have an outsider find us and scapegoat us. I agree with what people are saying about not getting hysterical, but be mindful. I already have issues with censoring what I say about life, my interests, political views, etc. I may not agree with someone else's view, but I do give a damn about your right to think and express it. I feel the same way about this site - people need this desperately. I do. I literally never heard anywhere else the things people talk about here and the profound effects certain things have on your mental and physical pain. I wish there were IRL groups like this. I was there while that thread unfolded, and I haven't looked at it on FB yet, but I'm glad I got some stuff secured already. I'm just such a believer in choice and natural consequences. Not in a blaming way, just being an adult basically.

And some useful information from my horrible day yesterday: if you are dead the police can open your phone, computer, whatever, without getting a warrant. I'm in the US and asked a police officer. I'm just someone on the internet, but it's good to keep it in mind.

I just had to add an edit that I am truly sorry for the girl's loved ones.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I feel bad for the parents but I don't like that they are indirectly blaming this forum. We didn't create the circumstances that led to her suicide. That's not our fault. This forum simply provides resources and information for people who decide to leave because they are struggling - and people have every right to do that if they don't want to stay alive anymore, for whatever reasons. And there is nothing wrong with that. And we provide support and honest advise for those people as well, if they need some. That's the reason why we're in this forum. We're tired of empty platitudes. We're tired of people telling us that 'things will get better' and we should just 'buckle up'. I fully support this place. This forum is great and we need a place like this.

And I don't mean to insult anyone but if my own child took their own life, I'd start to look for blame in myself first. Not in a forum.

 

[Meretlein]

I feel bad for the parents but I don't like that they are indirectly blaming this forum. We didn't create the circumstances that led to her suicide. That's not our fault. This forum simply provides resources and information for people who decide to leave because they are struggling - and people have every right to do that if they don't want to stay alive anymore, for whatever reasons. And there is nothing wrong with that. And we provide support and honest advise for those people as well, if they need some. That's the reason why we're in this forum. We're tired of empty platitudes. We're tired of people telling us that 'things will get better' and we should just 'buckle up'. I fully support this place. This forum is great and we need a place like this.

And I don't mean to insult anyone but if my own child took their own life, I'd start to look for blame in myself first. Not in a forum.

Most people believe that we should be trapped in this life no matter what. Anyone who says that there is nothing wrong with nonexistence is vilified.

 

[Just4ride]

FB post already got 189 shares.

Another thing to add to the pre-ctb checklist: logout of sanctionedsuicide.com and clear the cache on any device you used to view the site.

This is a good idea.

 

[Halo13]

FB post already got 189 shares.

This is a good idea.

Should we be worried they have reached out to the department of online security? I know we're already being watched but that sounds threatening. And ridiculous. No one here forced, coerced or even encouraged her to do it. Even without the existence of this forum, people find ways on their own every day. I don't see any reason to blame us for the choices she chose to take.

Incidentally, this community does an excellent job as a support system for anyone needing to talk without judgement. Countless suicidal people cannot openly discuss their feelings without the threat of hospitalization. I also consider this forum a place for harm reduction purposes as none of us want someone to harm themselves in a way that cripples them or makes their situation worse.

 

[omoidarui]

I would like to see the 'keep logged in' option removed, so you are automatically logged out after a certain time, which would prevent something like the above situation recurring.

in this instance the tab would've still been open but it may be less incriminating as a relative couldn't say for sure the deceased had an account here.

maybe if the page automatically refreshes every so often? not sure if it's possible (or plausible), but assuming a user is banned within in a certain time after saying Goodbyes then the page will just refresh to an error screen after the account is banned and no'one using it will be able to see any posts.

 

[Roger]

This forum is a real consolation to me. I was distraught when it seemed as though it was banned. I don't encourage nor do I discourage any particular course of action.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

what i can say nobody here is forcing or helping other people having his or her own death. i can't believe the woman is blaming this site. if she is reading this i'd tell her i'm a depressed person but i never had the courage of ctb (to die) and here i found a lot of beautiful souls and one angel who care about me INSTEAD OF MY FUCKING SELFISH PARENTS who doesn't fucking care about me, about my health and my life in general. i'd be dead without all these beautiful people on here, THEY MAKE ME STAY ALIVE. dear mother of that death girl, is nobody fault here. maybe the only fault is yours, parents never understand their children, they just are good in complain about everything and blaming for everything. you know what? this is a lesson for you parents who never really care about how a son or a daughter is feeling. that's why a lot of guys like me are here: because of their parents. now i'm not blaming them directly because i don't know the situation, but sometimes it happens that parents don't understand their child. i'm sending some hugs to her family.

 

[Querry1]

Some people have to turn the guilt to those who are the least responsible, don't they?

I've read whole post, those sickening people talking about Jesus etc., I just have no words. They know themselves it's their fault, not some prochoice site.

 

[Roger]

I think it is insensitive to criticize the parents. Even if you really feel that some blame attached to them (and I don't know if it does), they have lost a child and they deserve sympathy. They will have a lifetime of blaming themselves.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

plus, dear mother if your child is suffering there's no point in living. like me, i suffer every single day for big and important problems that nobody can solve. i don't receive any help from my parents, even primary care like food. LOL. we people in these conditions deserve peace, otherwise we're just suffering meat. why we should continue with this unbearable suffering?
i'm sorry for her lost or their lost, but there's no meaning in blaming this site because it's super partes. it's easy to blame only external things, people should look first into themselves

 

[Walilamdzi]

Well her mother said "Im fighting this assisted suicide online community and dont know where to start. Does anyone have any idea? There is something that passed in California called Suzy's Law."

There's a lot of support from family and friends to shut it down, e.g. someone said (about forums like this): "They're the darkest places on the internet. I'm inquiring to have this website shut down, and so is my partner."

I can see why someone would want to blame a forum, but speaking as someone who has found solace in venting here, there are a lot of life circumstances that lead someone to seek this forum out in the first place.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Seeing the site go down like that, I can't say I'm not worried.

This is the only place I know of, where people can freely talk about their problems, and feelings, and just vent, without having to hear the parroted words, "it will get better", when it sure as hell won't get better for the most of us. I'd be devastated if something happened to the site.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Honestly i have been wondering about this to.
But anyways if someone would search for suicide in my browser history or mail they would stil find it.
This is the message i found on fb. https://i.ibb.co/f9J1hSR/Screenshot-20190526-090609.jpg

People are sharing the word to try and ban this site tru ic3.gov

Thanks for posting that image. As I look at the mother's response on facebook, I got to thinking. Maybe it's me, or because I do not use any social media. But I think if anyone is making a serious post, a serious statement / announcement about something tragic, I think he / she would be more convincing if they did NOT use emojis in there post.

Again, it could be a generational thing, and that I'm simply showing my age.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Some people have to turn the guilt to those who are the least responsible, don't they?

I've read whole post, those sickening people talking about Jesus etc., I just have no words. They know themselves it's their fault, not some prochoice site.

I agree. Talking about God and Jesus after someones suicide is a bold move anyway. As I said, that's how pro-lifers interact with suicidal people though - even after their death: empty platitudes.
.

Well her mother said "Im fighting this assisted suicide online community and dont know where to start. Does anyone have any idea? There is something that passed in California called Suzy's Law."

There's a lot of support from family and friends to shut it down, e.g. someone said (about forums like this): "They're the darkest places on the internet. I'm inquiring to have this website shut down, and so is my partner."

I can see why someone would want to blame a forum, but speaking as someone who has found solace in venting here, there are a lot of life circumstances that lead someone to seek this forum out in the first place.

Yeah, right? They pretend as if we made the person commit suicide but that was solely the decision of said member - who by the way wasn't even that active in here. That person must have been in a very final stage already when they registered in this forum because I only count 8 posts since April 11. They knew they were going to ctb and that's what they did.

 

[Walilamdzi]

People are also referring to other people in this forum, suffering from depression etc as perpetrators of a crime and saying we should all be 'traced and held accountable'. The information discussed here is already widely available in published literature and there's a rule in this forum against encouraging anyone. I am choosing to be here and have never encountered anyone who has proactively encouraged me to make a decision, the opposite, in fact. A lot of users have acted as a form of counsellor when I've had a particularly bad day, and helped me realise I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Speaking as someone who has in fact had access to 'professional help' in the form of three hospitalisations which were the most traumatic experiences of my life, I feel that I have some knowledge of what it is like to 'get help' as all of these people are advocating. It actually didn't help me at all, and faith in these systems of so-called protection for the vulnerable generally comes from ignorance as the the kind of 'support' or lack thereof that is on offer. We live in a time where so many people are in denial about suffering. People like to believe that every problem has a solution and that the human species can defy nature in some way.

 

[Lush_nova]

I have just seen the Facebook thread, wow!! People are upset and angry over their loss which is understandable, but lashing out a unknown forum is not going to help.
They are assuming this site is to encourage CTB, yet all it takes is too look at a couple introductory posts and you can see it's very much a pro choice forum. It's one reason I joined, it's a non judgemental safe place (safe as in free to talk and safe as in remaining fully anon if you so wish) where only you the poster can decide what to do.
I have seen a few story's recently of people on forums/chat rooms where they are encouraged to CTB, why aren't these places being called out to be shut down, to me they are far worse.
Hope the future of this place is safe

 

[Alchemist]

I think it is insensitive to criticize the parents. Even if you really feel that some blame attached to them (and I don't know if it does), they have lost a child and they deserve sympathy. They will have a lifetime of blaming themselves.

I'd be willing to offer more sympathy if they didn't want to throw the blame on us. Calling evil the people who actually offered comfort and support instead of ignoring what happened is what truly sickens me. NO one here has told anyone to kill themselves, just that whatever they chose they'll get the support on their choices.

 

[tomz323]

They shouldn't blame the site for their daughters death, your daughter kills herself. Look inward. I love this site man, great to get my feels.

 

[angie]

Thanks for posting that image. As I look at the mother's response on facebook, I got to thinking. Maybe it's me, or because I do not use any social media. But I think if anyone is making a serious post, a serious statement / announcement about something tragic, I think he / she would be more convincing if they did NOT use emojis in there post.

Again, it could be a generational thing, and that I'm simply showing my age.
[/QUOTE

Thanks for posting that image. As I look at the mother's response on facebook, I got to thinking. Maybe it's me, or because I do not use any social media. But I think if anyone is making a serious post, a serious statement / announcement about something tragic, I think he / she would be more convincing if they did NOT use emojis in there post.

Again, it could be a generational thing, and that I'm simply showing my age.

where on facebook did you find it ?. what did u search for ?.

 

[Ashpac]

We've had a few scares in the past where people think the website is going to get shut down.
I do believe this site is getting watched alot more now but we are not a pro suicide forum.
We are pro choice. We help people if they want to live or die. We support them.
I can see why they are angry at this forum but thats because they dont know what the forum is about.
This is a safe haven for many people, myself included.
I agree, people should log out if they take their own life though. I know I will be doing that when its my time.
I do believe since its had 189 shares, it will increase quite alot and more eyes will be on this forum.
Lets see what happens.

 

[omoidarui]

And some useful information from my horrible day yesterday: if you are dead the police can open your phone, computer, whatever, without getting a warrant. I'm in the US and asked a police officer. I'm just someone on the internet, but it's good to keep it in mind.

the police hardly ever know the law themselves

 

[Ruffian]

Well her mother said "Im fighting this assisted suicide online community and dont know where to start. Does anyone have any idea? There is something that passed in California called Suzy's Law."

There's a lot of support from family and friends to shut it down, e.g. someone said (about forums like this): "They're the darkest places on the internet. I'm inquiring to have this website shut down, and so is my partner."

I can see why someone would want to blame a forum, but speaking as someone who has found solace in venting here, there are a lot of life circumstances that lead someone to seek this forum out in the first place.

I don't even view this as an assisted suicide site! I mean, I came here looking for a quick and dirty way to be more successful after 2 failed attempts. I was ready TO GO. The resources here are freely available elsewhere via Google, but what isn't it is the amount of solace just being on here is. I logged into FB for like 15 minutes yesterday and I was like, why? Here, I have actually become less suicidal, because for the first time in my life I found people who truly care and don't judge. And I feel like a broken record when I keep saying that I just never knew other people had things that may seem small (like tinnitus, for example,) that make them contemplate suicide. Someone who has never experienced it simply cannot relate. Then the juggling some of us do with both physical pain and mental illness, exactly where are those support groups or help? That whole mentality of blame and prevention pisses me off to no end. I am actually contemplating writing an open letter to the NY Times about all the money that's going to go to that fucking net under the Golden Gate Bridge, and I'd like to call out Nancy Pelosi personally for wielding survivors' grief for political gain. I just don't want to do anything that would even suggest the existence of this site.

It's as ridiculous as people who are actually winning lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies for their opiate addictions which led them to doing heroin. A disability lawyer I spoke to recently settled one for 2.2 million. I guess one of the scientists from Eli-Lily came to their house and held him at gunpoint telling him to take 5 pills instead of one. I really think it's an apt analogy. People are responsible for their own behavior, period. I hope I'm not offending anyone with addiction issues, but as a lifetime off again, on again drug abuser, even I see this as ludicrous. The overblown statistics and blame game fail to address the individual's underlying issues that caused the addiction. Now there are probably people even on this site who got their meds ripped out from under them even if they never abused them. People just want to point a finger without looking at the other 3 pointing back at them.

At this moment my preparations are pretty much in place. But I seriously am thinking about making a new life purpose of some type of activism or even a createtive work that could possibly influence people's thinking about suicide. And not in a "I did a Suicide Walk" T-shirt or some NFL player wearing some special cleats to "raise awareness." Unless it's Aaron Rodgers, and then I'd be fine with it. Lol.

 

[Roger]

They shouldn't blame the site for their daughters death, your daughter kills herself. Look inward. I love this site man, great to get my feels.

One thing I learned in life is the power of forgiveness. It helps the person who forgives just as much as the person who is forgiven. The girl's parents will be distraught, and if they lash out at anybody else, then try and understand why they should do it. Be kind. Portia's famous speech in The Merchant of Venice expresses it so well. Shakespeare uses the word "mercy" but it means "forgiveness" in modern usage.

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The thronèd monarch better than his crown.

Unfortunately I can't forgive myself.

 

[ManWithNoName]

what i can say nobody here is forcing or helping other people having his or her own death. i can't believe the woman is blaming this site. if she is reading this i'd tell her i'm a depressed person but i never had the courage of ctb (to die) and here i found a lot of beautiful souls and one angel who care about me INSTEAD OF MY FUCKING SELFISH PARENTS who doesn't fucking care about me, about my health and my life in general. i'd be dead without all these beautiful people on here, THEY MAKE ME STAY ALIVE. dear mother of that death girl, is nobody fault here. maybe the only fault is yours, parents never understand their children, they just are good in complain about everything and blaming for everything. you know what? this is a lesson for you parents who never really care about how a son or a daughter is feeling. that's why a lot of guys like me are here: because of their parents. now i'm not blaming them directly because i don't know the situation, but sometimes it happens that parents don't understand their child. i'm sending some hugs to her family.

That is exactly my impression here too. This is simply a pro-choice environment. Many a good conversation off topic are had here at SS - and at the very least it serves as tonic to the existentialist issues that plague us.

 

[Lush_nova]

. I logged into FB for like 15 minutes yesterday and I was like, why? Here, I have actually become less suicidal, because for the first time in my life I found people who truly care and don't judge.

I landed here after I had tried joining some mental health fb groups, it made me feel worse, it was like a competition of who was having the worst day, I finally left after a school girl said she was going to take her own life as her parents had bollocked her for being out later then she should have been.... she was feeling depressed and controlled, she was 15.... yes everything feels different for different people. But no, this state of mind isn't a 5min throw away it's not something to be taken lightly, it's our life and our minds full time. This forum is full of like minded people. Respect to you all for being here and being so easy to talk too

 

[Chalken]

I hope this forum stays. After reddit SS getting shut down, this is the only pro-choice place I know. Regarding the facebook post, I think the parents need someone to blame and have a scapegoat. It's a way to cope with their loss. It's hard for them to comprehend the need for such a site as this, because they most likely haven't been suicidal themselves.

Oh and reading the comments on the Facebook post is just sad. They call us accomplices in murder, that we should be arrested, etc. Not to mention the countless shallow platitudes such as "praying for you". How delusional do they have to be? They only start caring when it's too late. Please, save it. Why the fuck can't humans have a dignified way out, when they couldn't even have chosen to be born?