I inherited some money at the end of 2017 and was in a great financial position to buy my first home. But I didn't realise that I suffer from 'covert anxiety', which means that my brain makes up irrational thoughts and beliefs and suppresses real life information, to prevent me from getting in to anxiety-inducing situations. I now know that one of these situations is buying a property.
Looking back over the last five years, I can recall the reasons why I convinced myself that I should wait to buy somewhere and I am horrified by them and can see what an idiot I must have looked. I'm now priced out of the market and don't earn enough to even rent a one bedroom flat (I'm on average salary). All of my life, I have had opportunities which anxiety has prevented me from taking, and I never realise how good the opportunities are until they have passed and I can't take them.
I'm now single (I was in a long term relationship) and homeless, I hate my job (I was moved in to a job that I didn't choose, even though there were plenty of jobs that I could have applied for before I was pushed). I find it impossible to make decisions and take control of my life.
The state of the world does add to my reasons to ctb. 25 years ago, an average house cost 3.5 times the average salary. Now they cost more than nine times the average salary. I reflect on the position I was in five years ago - good house deposit, low interest rates, to now and I am so depressed. The cost of living crisis, energy prices, inflation, war etc just make me think that life is not worth living any more.