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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
I know exactly what you're talking about because I've felt this way, but if you think about it (because I thought about it a lot) we are just contributing to the state of the world, currently, by CTB'ing. We will just be another suicide statistic from the Gen Z which is wild to think about.
 
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Fengshuiside

Fengshuiside

Dream of another way out <3
Apr 21, 2022
78
Haha, I know exactly what you mean! It's hilarious you can tell people 2 years beforehand what's going to happen step by step, they deny it, and once it happens they're still like "well yeah but that doesn't prove anything" LOL!

I just watch history repeat itself just like it has for the entire human existence, but most people are in a state of cognitive dissonance and somehow seem to think that something has suddenly changed about it.

But to answer your question: No. It's just the icing on the cake for me. I've been destined to commit suicide since 2017. Even if there was going to be a different, beautiful world where we weren't total slaves, I wouldn't keep going on. It's not just these past 2 years and where it's going that bothers me, it's the whole foundation of our modern society. These current events are just the symptoms of it. We already lived in an unbelievably corrupt and sick world, where everything is upside down and inverted and most people are just happy with it, in fact they'll even fight to keep it that way. I couldn't adapt to society at all even before this mess.

To be honest, I only extended my life for these last 2 years because I saw what's going on early on and wanted to witness how this insanity is going to progress. I knew what to expect and still got surprised! But yeah I'm jumping off this ship within a month, hopefully in 1-3 weeks. It's going to get ugly in the next few years I imagine.
 
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R

Rabbit50

Member
Apr 5, 2022
77
I inherited some money at the end of 2017 and was in a great financial position to buy my first home. But I didn't realise that I suffer from 'covert anxiety', which means that my brain makes up irrational thoughts and beliefs and suppresses real life information, to prevent me from getting in to anxiety-inducing situations. I now know that one of these situations is buying a property.
Looking back over the last five years, I can recall the reasons why I convinced myself that I should wait to buy somewhere and I am horrified by them and can see what an idiot I must have looked. I'm now priced out of the market and don't earn enough to even rent a one bedroom flat (I'm on average salary). All of my life, I have had opportunities which anxiety has prevented me from taking, and I never realise how good the opportunities are until they have passed and I can't take them.
I'm now single (I was in a long term relationship) and homeless, I hate my job (I was moved in to a job that I didn't choose, even though there were plenty of jobs that I could have applied for before I was pushed). I find it impossible to make decisions and take control of my life.
The state of the world does add to my reasons to ctb. 25 years ago, an average house cost 3.5 times the average salary. Now they cost more than nine times the average salary. I reflect on the position I was in five years ago - good house deposit, low interest rates, to now and I am so depressed. The cost of living crisis, energy prices, inflation, war etc just make me think that life is not worth living any more.
 
IfyouareamanWinston

IfyouareamanWinston

Student
Aug 22, 2022
170
Unless you have generational wealth you are a slave. People live in this illusion of choice when in reality living is a tax. Why should we suffer for others to sit atop us as kings?
 
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Ligottifan95

Ligottifan95

Member
Jul 12, 2020
15
The unstoppablity/irreversiblity(at this point) of abrupt, rapidly accelerating catastrophic climate change, all the while greenhouse gas emissions, industrial waste, worldwide human population and overconsumption growing despite this widely available and distributed knowledge, does play some role admittedly.
 
R

RUPA

Student
Oct 19, 2022
106
it is not the state of the world, it is how to perceive the state of the world
 
PressEnterToExit

PressEnterToExit

How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
Like the title indicates, the largest reason I'm planning to CTB is because, looking at the state of the world and where we seem to be heading, I can't see anything positive. It's not just that we've been having a few rough years- it's part of long-term trends that I'm seeing, ones that make me convinced collapse is the only way this ends. It's the deepening divides in our own nations that make us see our fellow citizens as complete enemies. The leaders who seem more interested in screaming at each other than trying to fix things. The media that exacerbates all of this. The skyrocketing inequalities, the ecological devastation getting worse by the day, and the inability for us to even agree that a given problem IS a problem, much less what the best solution for it is.
I know the world has always been ugly, but it feels to me like we're losing the basic stability I once took for granted. I can't bear to keep waiting around. I have to get out, while things are as good as they'll ever be- and while I can still end it peacefully.
Has anyone else felt this way?
I can totally relate fuck, it looks like one of my notes to myself lol
 
L

lifeORdeath

Student
Oct 11, 2022
165
I don't give two craps about the world. It goes on with or without me. My problems are internal and self inflicted, it ain't the world's fault. I created my crap show. I'm bailing if it goes to crap
 
CompleteControl

CompleteControl

After I'm dead will I still dream.
Mar 31, 2023
24
Nope F.T.W. if you can access youtube check out a song by a band " Tiger Army" title of the song is well F.T.W. let me know what you think