Anyone here who are considered conventionally attractive and still want to CTB?

[Ambivalent1]

I made a post about this once. I would say that many consider me attractive. Ctb before middle age feels so wasteful. I'll probably do it before that, but I'm not happy about it. It's my brain that's fucked, but the exterior is great. It's like having a nice car with a bad engine. Even if I got to live again, it wouldn't be in this body. If only the interior had been nice too!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I get told I am pretty decent in the looks department but I really don't think I am and I'm sure anyone who looked at me could find faults if they actually tried hard enough. I'm definitely not in shape and my nose has a disgusting lump on it and my face has some splotches on it that are a slightly different shade.

 

[restless.dreams]

I feel hideous, but in reality I'm probably just average looking. People tend to be our own harshest critics after all. There are plenty of young and beautiful people who have caught the bus, Marilyn Monroe for one. She was a beautiful woman but she had a very sad life.

 

[Minsu]

Yes, I meet Korean beauty standards. But I absolutely don't care since I think only about suicide 24/7

 

[AnneHiro]

I can tell by the way people interact with me that I must be physically attractive, but it hasn't done me a lot of favors. My friends' girlfriends/wives try to flirt with me, and I've had to stop seeing some of my closest friends. Other men always want to one-up and undermine me. Despite this, I haven't dated since I was in high school in the 2000s.

I grew up with a single mother who very openly hated men, and I heard a lot about how deceitful and coercive men are in pursuit of sexual gratification and how men objectify and dehumanize women, long before i had any idea what sex was. I know I'm an adult now and that it's my problem and that it's up to me to do what's in my best interest, but it's so hard not to feel gross about pursuing women.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

I have been told I'm very ugly or very cute. But guys have never really complimented me much. Especially now I'm fat. It feels like people go out of there way to not look at me and being a retail worker I get treated like shit on the regular by both colleagues and customers

 

[aloneagainnaturally]

I'm a conventionally attractive signed model. Do catalogue and other fashion work. And I am so freaking lonely. I have no family who cares, no friends, and just go through each day like a zombie. I've tried to have relationships/friendships/reaching out to family, but I guess there must be something wrong with me. I am kind, intelligent, and empathetic, but whatever it is that makes me a pariah is a mystery to me. I know how I'm gonna CTB. I'm just trying to pick the right place at this point. Waffling between woods and hotel. Soon.

 

[HaveYouEverThought]

I've been told I'm very attractive. But I honestly don't see that in myself usually.

 

[theboy]

i have received a few compliments that i am handsome although i consider myself average. anyway i want ctb regardless of looks.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

I have a malformation on my face that cause a huge part of my depression, but at the same time I have a terribile family. So even if I was handsome, being neclected as a child would have made me growing up miserable and mentally ill. I would be a different person, but I would have still grown withouth family love, so I would be still suicidal. Probably more in existentialist way, different than now. but yeah I would be surely suicidal anyway.

 

[Buildingsandcastles]

My looks dont have to do with my desire to ctb (people like to use that as a reason for me to stay alive?) People apparently find me attractive- I don't see or feel it normally. But it doesn't matter, people ignore who you actually are when they only see your looks. It interesting, the more depressed and neurologically drained I get the less I eat and I lose weight and people are like omg you look great instead of seeing that its me getting closer towards my demise. So ironic.

 

[Schmopo]

I had a former roommate who was very attractive with a toned muscular build. He attended to routine gym activities, party and go clubbing but it didn't stop him jumping in front of a train. Attraction is meaningless when generational depression/trauma is overwhelming.

 

[Coconteppi]

one of the main reason i want to ctb is because i'm very unattractive so yea.

In every social/group setting I am often reffered to as the really attractive person who doesn't care to date/hook. This feels horrible saying at all gross. Whats up? I'm happy to talk if you have any questions (I am a bit stoned atm if thats a problem sorry :P)

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

My ex once told me that I'm semi-bangable after two beers. I took it as a compliment. I thought it was sweet.

 

[onemorenight]

It's true. Being attractive is meaningless when you're mentally ill with trauma. If anything, being very attractive is actually extremely isolating. Other women hate you out of jealousy. Men just want to claim you as a prize.

All you want is to keep to yourself but instead you get stalkers. People always remembering you. You can't just be anonymous, ever.

 

[Ambivalent1]

It's true. Being attractive is meaningless when you're mentally ill with trauma. If anything, being very attractive is actually extremely isolating. Other women hate you out of jealousy. Men just want to claim you as a prize.

All you want is to keep to yourself but instead you get stalkers. People always remembering you. You can't just be anonymous, ever.

Tomorrow? :(

 

[onemorenight]

Tomorrow? :(

Ahh I love your profile picture. My favourite character in that movie. I watched it with my little brother and I remember tearing up a little because of how much I agreed. Thankfully it was in a dark movie theatre aha.

Yes, tomorrow. I've wished for it to come sooner every day for months now. I am very tired of forcing myself through existence.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Ahh I love your profile picture. My favourite character in that movie. I watched it with my little brother and I remember tearing up a little because of how much I agreed. Thankfully it was in a dark movie theatre aha.

Yes, tomorrow. I've wished for it to come sooner every day for months now. I am very tired of forcing myself through existence.

I watched it online lol but this character made the movie. It was like meeting a friend

How will you do it? Have you read the story Ex Oblivione? Your final sentences remind me of the opening lines. It's about suicide.

"Ex Oblivione" by H. P. Lovecraft

'Ex Oblivione' by H. P. Lovecraft

www.hplovecraft.com

 

[Patches]

I don't see myself like that but apparently I am. (Not my claim)

I've always just felt ugly on the inside. Which is the real reason. What I look like is irrelevant to me.

 

[onemorenight]

I watched it online lol but this character made the movie. It was like meeting a friend

How will you do it? Have you read the story Ex Oblivione? Your final sentences remind me of the opening lines. It's about suicide.

"Ex Oblivione" by H. P. Lovecraft

'Ex Oblivione' by H. P. Lovecraft

www.hplovecraft.com

I love that poem. Thank you for sharing. I've always loved my dreams. Reality was a very disappointing thing to wake up to, every time.

It kinda sucks to be a writer with a romantic view of the world.. because nothing ever really lives up to it. People, especially.

I plan on using the CO method. I already have everything, all the supplies.

 

[offbalance]

one of the main reason i want to ctb is because i'm very unattractive so yea.

yes

 

[onemorenight]

I watched it online lol but this character made the movie. It was like meeting a friend

How will you do it? Have you read the story Ex Oblivione? Your final sentences remind me of the opening lines. It's about suicide.

"Ex Oblivione" by H. P. Lovecraft

'Ex Oblivione' by H. P. Lovecraft

www.hplovecraft.com

I found this quote online a while back. It lies along the same vein as Lovecraft's writing:

Epicurus rejected any possibility of an afterlife, while still contending that one need not fear death:
"Death is nothing to us; for that which is dissolved, is without sensation, and that which lacks sensation is nothing to us."

From this doctrine arose the Epicurean Epitaph:
Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo ("I was not. I was, I am not, I don't care.")

 

[Ambivalent1]

I found this quote online a while back. It lies along the same vein as Lovecraft's writing:

Epicurus rejected any possibility of an afterlife, while still contending that one need not fear death:
"Death is nothing to us; for that which is dissolved, is without sensation, and that which lacks sensation is nothing to us."

From this doctrine arose the Epicurean Epitaph:
Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo ("I was not. I was, I am not, I don't care.")

Yeah I've come across that quote before, though that's a different version.

I like the word dissolved. Lovecraft used it in his story too. Dissolving into oblivion. The thought gives a warm fuzzy feeling.

I like this quote. "Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace" -Oscar Wilde

I'm going to write that Oscar Wilde quote on a paper and put it in my pocket on that day. Maybe the words will bind onto me guaranteeing my wish like a silly superstition.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

I'm quite attractive, but there are lots of issues driving me suicidal.

 

[damyon]

Used to be conventionally unattractive (and probably even ugly), wanted to kms.

I am conventionally attractive now, but I still see CTB as the main course of action.


Doesn't matter... I guess...

 

[Ociv]

Yes. I've been told by my friends that they think im the best catch out of us, and I dont disagree. though with the way the dating pool looks in 2024, doesnt really help much. for someone who doesnt like hookups, looks seem to be irrelivant anyways.

also, to all the attractive mfs in this thread...




hmu...

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

i'm hideous and disgusting. my friends are all beautiful inside and outside. i'm completely rotten. no one should have to look at me. my friends are nice and say "omg ur not ugly" you literally are obligated to say that because you're my friend. it means nothing coming from already attractive people.

this world is for beautiful people. not something like me.

 

[koruznikov]

Yes I would say above average looking. Still have physical and mental illnesses which are driving me crazy.

 

[persimmon]

I'm 6'3, slim and scrub up decently. I will say life is easier when you look good but it's no guarantee.

 

[uniqueusername4]

I know that I'm attractive, get told all the time and honestly I hate it. I feel like it makes people value me more for that than for my personality or brain. It makes me a target for stalking and obsession as well. I recently had my life ruined because someone wanted to see my face. I also feel uncomfortable going outside because people stare.