Anyone feel like an asshole for what they will do to their family?

[Menschenmühle]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

 

[farakini]

Nope. Idgaf.

 

[xyzzy]

I feel bad about it too, but both they and you will die someday anyway and will probably cause a lot of pain then, so why not rip off the bandaid now, right?

 

[Ecka-26]

Family is what keeps stopping me, so I feel your pain

 

[AlliWant]

Other than being scared of what happens when you die, this is probably the 2nd biggest reason I haven't been able to go through with it yet. IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!! I try to look at it this way... we've all had a relative or pet or someone we know die... and after the initial shock, you kind of just move on. I like to think that's what our families would do, too. Of course it would be super upsetting at first, but really once the dust settles, life goes on.

 

[makethepainstop]

After what my darling sister and tard niece have done for me, f them.

 

[freevoid]

Nope.

My family subscribe to the thought that my life is worth living despite me explaining my reality over and over again how much I suffer with my illnesses. It's not their fault, they're not sick so they can't understand. But the lack of understanding still pisses me off. Yet they totally support euthanasia for other animals - the cognitive dissonance is too strong for them. And we're not close! I have no energy or patience anymore for people who can't critically think and transcend the societal programming.

 

[Menschenmühle]

I feel bad about it too, but both they and you will die someday anyway and will probably cause a lot of pain then, so why not rip off the bandaid now, right?

If that were the case, then why should I ctb at all, I'll die anyway right? The fact is that life is painful in the here and now, whether there's death awaiting us or not.

 

[noalarms]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

A painful ctb will probably make them feel worse tbh.

I understand the need to make your death painful, though. I've often felt that to justify the act of suicide, I must suffer in the process.

 

[madebrief]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

Except I'm trying to make it peaceful.

 

[outrider567]

No

 

[Елена]

Yes , very

 

[OnlyBuilt4Linxs]

No

 

[lionetta12]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

My family didn't care and never appologized for having ruined my life and mental health several times, so I'm honestly struggling to care about what they think regarding me leaving this world, because most of it is their fault. Not that they actually care about me CTB anyway either, because they are too busy talking about themselves, while only using me for money and free therapy. Whenever I tell them about my attempts and my thoughts they just don't care.

The only person I care about and that I feel like an asshole for leaving, is my best friend, because he's one of the only good people I've known and that supported and cared for me no matter what.

 

[klonoaencore]

They will survive.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Absolutely. 100%

 

[Hirokami]

If I manage to carry it out, yes. My mom didn't do anything to deserve this; if anything, she tried her best to prevent this. At the same time, I hate when my loved ones have to see me in pain. I try to justify it by telling myself they'd be better off without my depressing ass.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

i used to tell myself i wasnt too bothered by it since "hey, i'll be gone anyway so i wont be able to feel guilty about it i have the right to end my pain" but lately its been weighing on me just how much it'd affect them, especially after attending my grandma's funeral and just imagining how crushed they'd be if it was me next. of course it was very sad to see her go, but she lived a good, full life and we all saw it coming for a while and were able to mentally prepare ourselves... but for me to go in my 20s? at my own hand? i cant imagine how they'd feel and the amount of chaos i'd create.... that might be partially why i havent been considering suicide as much lately. i still have the desire to die, and i see it being the way i die unless a freak accident happens, but it makes it a lot harder for me to sit down and plan out when i have my family's reaction in the back of my head. i know putting it off doesnt mean much unless i wait until my closest family members all pass, which i really doubt i'll be able to hold out for that much longer, so it sometimes feels pointless to delay the inevitable. but i just really wish i could simply disappear without it causing so much trauma, because as lonely as i am in life, im still lucky enough to have a family who loves me. maybe they're not the best at helping me with my problems and dont know how to deal with the way i am, sure, but they love me regardless and dont deserve that pain.

 

[Hollowillow]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

My mother was abusive, I punched her back in the throat. My death would have made her happy, she wanted an abortion but got guilt tripped by her sister.

If you kill yourself your parents failed you & they'll have to live with that.

 

[Zegers]

My closest relative knows i have the idea and i think even knows that i will do at some point, It will be a hard time for a while but will know that i have gone to a better place.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

Yes, because my brother and sister are very attached to me, having raised them from a young age because of neglect and abuse from my parents. The thought of them being traumatised in the long term weighs heavily on my conscience, so I hope they can forget about me one day. On the other hand, the rest of my family is a big reason why I've ended up here.

 

[Leemel]

No they helped create my wanting to ctb.

 

[theboy]

Of corse

 

[eldiablo666]

not at all.

My parents are the greatest aholes for giving birth to me.

Can't wait for them both to die, but they're not that old yet

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Yes. I know they love me, and despite how I feel about myself, I know that my suicide will crush them. But I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of life, existing, damn near everything.

All I can do is emphasize in my note how this is my choice and it's no one's fault.

 

[BornToFail]

Not particularly.

 

[Justnotme]

I know it will destroy them, but on the other hand, it's my life, and there's no other way but this, I have to do it. Sometimes, I think of making my ctb painful enough just to atone for that.

I think it will be even worse for your family if they find out that you suffered from physical pain before your death...

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Shit, 'not like they didn't expect it. I only hope that none of them would be dumb enough to follow me. But I might hold off until after my grandparents on.

 

[highmaintenancebolt]

I do not care if me killing myself hurts them emotionally. They signed up for this when they decided to have a child. This is a risk they chose. If they didn't want this then my mother should have aborted me and saved everyone a lot of trouble. I have zero sympathy for people who think it's ok to bring a non-consenting living being into this world.

 

[freedompass]

I'm at an age now where this is less of an issue. I have no one to feel like an asshole about.