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The Lonely

The Lonely

Arcanist
Jan 26, 2021
406
I just don't wanna play the "who is worse" Game…
So: Pay attention at your planning etc … We'd better not failing sis :)
 
V

vodolazkiy12

Member
Jun 27, 2021
30
Yeah I totally know what you mean. It's mad how many people feel the same. I've tried to reach out for help and tried all sorts but nothings "clicked" me back to "normal" some part of me still has hope that there's an answer but I just can't see it.

but the awkwardness is probably more about how you feel about yourself rather then what anyone else sees or thinks, as is the feeling weird. It's like we reflect our internal beliefs on everything even if there not true or real.
Are you from the U.K.?
I am not from the U.K. I feel worthless, ugly, fat, just not good enough for anyone. Threw myself into work today, still here even with the sun setting. No one I've reached out to other than here has even bothered to respond. So I guess I go back to the way I was and just stay to myself and I've started just not replying to the 2 msgs I did get due to it just saying don't do this, stop drinking etc. Again them not even bothering. But I'm always there for everyone else. Sorry if reply is short and all over the place. Just exhausted in every way at this point and have barely eaten in the last week. I don't want food. I want to make myself so gorgeous that he sees what he lost and will never have back.
 
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vodolazkiy12

Member
Jun 27, 2021
30
My "best friend" of 15 years finally stopped ghosting me today and sent me this long novel about how I need to pick people i date better and help myself and that I'm exhausting to be around and she doesn't have any more to give, she hasn't been there for me in 3 years, mind you, her dude she knew from the bar for 4 months and moved in with him 30 plus years older than her and they fight constantly. But I'm exhausting on the rare occasions that I fucking need someone and she's to be my best friend. I made a bad choice at the bar last night and I'm regretting it today. Sure as fuck won't try to tell her about it. I'm just a bother. Always there when she or anyone else needs me. Would just be nice to have someone irl that's not a complete shit head. Sorry if I can't swear on here. I just woke up to this novel text and my mind isn't memebering the rules rn. Rant over. She better not call me when he throws her out again...because I don't have any energy to give her.
 
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
I've been alone for as far as I can remember. I'd be okay with it if I wasn't so pathetic.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,729
My "best friend" of 15 years finally stopped ghosting me today and sent me this long novel about how I need to pick people i date better and help myself and that I'm exhausting to be around and she doesn't have any more to give, she hasn't been there for me in 3 years, mind you, her dude she knew from the bar for 4 months and moved in with him 30 plus years older than her and they fight constantly. But I'm exhausting on the rare occasions that I fucking need someone and she's to be my best friend. I made a bad choice at the bar last night and I'm regretting it today. Sure as fuck won't try to tell her about it. I'm just a bother. Always there when she or anyone else needs me. Would just be nice to have someone irl that's not a complete shit head. Sorry if I can't swear on here. I just woke up to this novel text and my mind isn't memebering the rules rn. Rant over. She better not call me when he throws her out again...because I don't have any energy to give her.
Fuck that bitch. Sounds like she's one of those people who has decided "toxic" means anybody who inconveniences her. Walk away and don't look back.
 
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vodolazkiy12

Member
Jun 27, 2021
30
Fuck that bitch. Sounds like she's one of those people who has decided "toxic" means anybody who inconveniences her. Walk away and don't look back.
I deleted her number, I guess 15 years didn't mean anything to her. Everyone is just walking out of my life, and I just don't care. She's another I caught in lies. If you gunna tell me you're canceling again because you're sick, don't post pictures online and tell me in the past you forgot i was on there. She did say she had her own shit going on. I think I'm gunna.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,729
I deleted her number, I guess 15 years didn't mean anything to her. Everyone is just walking out of my life, and I just don't care. She's another I caught in lies. If you gunna tell me you're canceling again because you're sick, don't post pictures online and tell me in the past you forgot i was on there. She did say she had her own shit going on. I think I'm gunna.
She sounds like my own ex-friend of 14 years. She sent me long, rambling criticism where she turned my request for polite response times as an attack on her. I was tired of her sporadic ghosting and simply asked that, if she needed some time to herself, to let me know. I'm almost happy it went down this way because anger is better than sadness.
 
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ncmxm

ncmxm

Experienced
Jun 9, 2021
232
I don't think it's quite dignity, more so I'm tired of reaching out to people IRL that just ignore me. Plus, I'm coming to that point where i feel like I either fear people or just hate them now and don't wanna be around them. Then sometimes all I want is a hug and for someone to tell me I matter and they care...but they never do. You're not a fool. I did the same thing for over a decade, it's not us, I think it's them at this point.

You matter and I care and I wish I could actually hug you rn but since I can't I'm sending you a virtual hug

And please feel free to pm me if you want to talk, I'm extremely lonely too, I know the feeling

If you want someone to listen to you I'm here
 
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V

vodolazkiy12

Member
Jun 27, 2021
30
She sounds like my own ex-friend of 14 years. She sent me long, rambling criticism where she turned my request for polite response times as an attack on her. I was tired of her sporadic ghosting and simply asked that, if she needed some time to herself, to let me know. I'm almost happy it went down this way because anger is better than sadness.
That was her. All my fault after almost 3 years of being ghosted, lied to, etc. Telling me to live my life better etc, but i didn't move into a place with some dude from a bar i knew for 4 months and fight all the time. Yes. I make bad choices. And i regret them. Been doing them more since I'm at the bar yet again. Almost 2 weeks here. But i don't jump over people that do. I try to understand which she simply just won't do. If I'm so tiring and you have nothing left to "give" don't try and call me when your man throws you out again. I think it's better this way too.
You matter and I care and I wish I could actually hug you rn but since I can't I'm sending you a virtual hug

And please feel free to pm me if you want to talk, I'm extremely lonely too, I know the feeling

If you want someone to listen to you I'm here
Thank you. This means a lot since everyone in the last 2 weeks have kinda poofed...but it's been a long time coming with these people and I'm not surprised at all. Just wish i could go a day without drinking and doing dumb shit afterwards. Thank you. Someone sent me a PM the other day and I didn't see it in my alerts till much later. Then they got angry i guess. Sorry if it takes me awhile I'm still trying to figure out how to use this site. It does mean a lot. I've been very lonely and numb lately for the most part and am not even trying to talk to who's left irl cause ik the outcome.
 
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M

Mark 22

New Member
Mar 5, 2021
1
I am not alone and i don't feel alone and i still strongly feel like dying by my hand. Good luck to you.
 
V

vodolazkiy12

Member
Jun 27, 2021
30
I am not alone and i don't feel alone and i still strongly feel like dying by my hand. Good luck to you.
I'm still going to ctb, just wanna have all my ducks ina row first
 
F

FirePower

New Member
Jan 15, 2020
3
for work I am forced to be around people but when I am off the clock I'd rather be alone. Being alone is one of the few good things I do well.
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
for work I am forced to be around people but when I am off the clock I'd rather be alone. Being alone is one of the few good things I do well.
Same
 

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