Discussion Anyone else wanna swap poems?

[livinginafog]

Threads
Isn't it funny how the broken attract

How others' stories seem to fill in the cracks

Parallel roads built with all the same dirt

From an ocean of tears to a forest of hurt



From its scarred icy cliffs over canyons of pain

To regret watered valleys tears falling like rain

Every life, every path has to travel

this land,

Some stroll through the outskirts , others wade through quicksand.



Pulled down by temptation, drowned by thoughts in their head

Hands reaching out helplessly, grasping for thread.

Some grasp the lifeline others despair

Their fingers just desperately clawing at air.



Deeper they sink, clenching gossamer strands

Lighter than feathers but strong they withstand

The weight of the world and the pull

Of the dark

Woven of stories, it carries a spark.



A glimmer of hope, a way to escape

A promised protection, an invisible cape.

The stories of people who made it, survived

The once buried road to healing revived.


If they can do it

So can I.

Take a stand in the darkness

Or else we will die.
Insanity



Hands the shape of ants on my back



Feeling as if my mind will crack



Talking to people only i can see

Is this what they call insanity?



Thoughts of how im gonna die

Questioning if my life was a lie



I try to show myself as sane

But in reality, i might be deranged



Insanity

Is that a question?

What god is trying to teach me a lesson?



Why do I have to question my own mind?

Is there a normal I'm supposed to find?



Thinking,



As i put a noose around my neck

Goodbye world i'm going to heck



As i feel my head start to pop,

I think I can't do this, I gotta stop!



Feeling failure at my attempt,

Anger at my mind being unkempt



How can i stop this living hell

With this torture only time will tell.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @livinginafog,
On this site, you played a great prologue!
Yes, I want to swap poems with you -
A lyrical soul who made their debut!

Though I found your choice of words dazzling[1],
I'm so sad because you are struggling[2][3] -
Here, I hope you find support you need,
And from the torment you will be freed.

Wholeheartedly, I wish you well,
But I guess, now you are trapped in hell.
Sometimes this world is a true hellscape,
And there seems to be no escape!

Thanks so much for sharing your work here -
Even though, of course, I'm no Shakespeare,
With this poem, I'd like to reply -
May I be your pro-choice ally?

---

References:
[1] Especially this verse:

Deeper they sink, clenching gossamer strands

Lighter than feathers but strong they withstand

The weight of the world and the pull

Of the dark

Woven of stories, it carries a spark.

[2] You made 13 CTB attempts before.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/when-you-fantasize-about-ctb-what-do-you-think-of.152663/post-2361855

[3] I'm so sorry.

How can i stop this living hell

With this torture only time will tell.

 

[livinginafog]

Here is another poem for you guys




The Struggle



Emptiness

No pain no emotion

Face expressionless

a waveless ocean



Trying to live

Loving life

It taking all i have to give



Like an armour of painful scars

Criss crossing

Like prison bars



I try to protect myself

Quietly fighting

With my mental health



In a straight-jacket of torment

Screaming

my voice is spent



I'd like to speak

But Im suffocating

I fear I am a freak



Tears of red run down my arms

Painful yet relieving

Scars and bubbles from past burns



The breath of smoke from my "last" cigarette

The burn of vodka and whiskey

From trying to forget



What is normal? I forgot

A bottle of emotions?

Cause that's what i've been taught

 

[livinginafog]

Crazy Depression

This tortuous torrent within my head

Hang from the neck till dead



A song to be free

From this earthly body



Over and over like a demented rhyme

The clock is ticking away the time



This itch in my hand to tie a noose

Anything to get away from this self-abuse



Hang from the neck till dead

I cried until every tear is shed



Every cut that i made to heal the pain

I think i am going insane



A husk of the person i used to be

When did this become my reality?



What happened to the happy girl?

Those emotions are 6 ft below

The sane girl?

She died a long time ago

 

[Ksmиda]

Brightness outside, but not inside

The sun has risen
But I have not.
It's so bright -
My whole room is filled with light.
But I am not.

It's as if I'm being mocked -
"Look how nice it is out here!"
"Don't you want to leave
That concrete box?"

I close the curtains
And the light is gone,
Along with my guilt.
Now it's just me and my thoughts left.
Eventually, those thoughts will be gone too...

Including myself.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Red, Green, Blue, Red , Green, Blue... Black.

I go into my cell
Not to be punished, but to feel free.
Colours and Images are shot into my eyes
Reality slowly fades away.

No voices.
No hopelessness.
No sadness.
Only guilt.

When the hypnotising Colours and Images disappear,
I feel as if I've been pushed into a freezing lake.
My mind screams at me to go back
I oblige.


(Your poems are amazing btw - I have no idea how to write a poem that rhymes)

 

[livinginafog]

Brightness outside, but not inside

The sun has risen
But I have not.
It's so bright -
My whole room is filled with light.
But I am not.

It's as if I'm being mocked -
"Look how nice it is out here!"
"Don't you want to leave
That concrete box?"

I close the curtains
And the light is gone,
Along with my guilt.
Now it's just me and my thoughts left.
Eventually, those thoughts will be gone too...

Including myself.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Red, Green, Blue, Red , Green, Blue... Black.

I go into my cell
Not to be punished, but to feel free.
Colours and Images are shot into my eyes
Reality slowly fades away.

No voices.
No hopelessness.
No sadness.
Only guilt.

When the hypnotising Colours and Images disappear,
I feel as if I've been pushed into a freezing lake.
My mind screams at me to go back
I oblige.


(Your poems are amazing btw - I have no idea how to write a poem that rhymes)

The best thing about poetry is that it doesnt have to rhyme its just traditional to. Look up slam poetry you might like it and that poem you just wrote was awesome and thanks for the compliment
Most Dads



Most dads teach with love and tender ears

Yet you taught me with trauma and tears



Most dads comfort night terrors

They rationalise fears

They admit errors



You told me it was for my own good

my fault everything fell apart

You stole my childhood



Instead of having night terrors

You haunt my dreams

Your the nightmare where

i cannot scream



13 years stolen i will never have back

Instead im left picking up pieces

Where you left me broken and cracked
To family, to myself

In my head
I dont want to be alone
at the same time
I wish i was dead

To their face
i cant die
So i have to say
Im fine and lie

In my head
There is a war inside
Battling for life
But Death is on the winning side

To their face
I lie about feeling alright
When my head is really
Dark as night

A perpetual torment
A metaphoracal tug-of war
Im screaming but my voice is spent

 

[Scythe]

War

I point my sword at the sky,
and wage war against god.
It is not a war I'm supposed to win.
It is merely a message of my will.
I shall not be a mindless shell,
I shall not be pushed around.
Even if life be the price,
I will not conform.

Paint


Paint my body bronze and orange,
boast my faith and boast my pride.

Paint my body red and gold,
spread the glory spread the fame.

Paint my body yellow and purple,
warn the lookers, warn the eyes.

Paint my body green and brown,
hide the torment, hide the pain.

Paint my body gray and white,
numb the senses, numb the head.

Paint my body black and blue,
mark my sins and mark my vows.


PS. your poems are really nice!

 

[Circles]

Hopeful death filled with sorrow

As I get older and time goes by, I become more aware that I'm going to die.

Whether that be through suicide or something else I do not know, regardless of what happens we all must go.

Why must death feel so dreadful full of loneliness and sorrow? Why couldn't it feel more peaceful instead of feeling hollow?

I constantly ask why do I even exist or what's the point of a life I never asked for, regardless of all my questions I must face the fear of not being here anymore.

Death senselessly takes away everything you once were, as if life was just dream or a nightmare you can't remember like a foggy blur.

Everything about you will be gone forever, including every memory you've had. Cause once you cross the threshold of death you won't even have the ability to feel lonely or sad.

Even though it's sad I won't remember anything or anyone once I'm dead. I'm sincerely happy I won't feel pain anymore in the end.

 

[sserafim]

Here's my bad haiku (improvised this just now):

I am so tired
Every day is such a chore
When will this all end?

Here's my bad haiku (improvised this just now):

I am so tired
Every day is such a chore
When will this all end?

Here's another one:

I am suffering
I can't take it anymore
Someone please help me

 

[livinginafog]

Havent posted in a while but here is another poem

Lament of a Freak



Everyone is a freak

Those who are

Considered weak



The strong and lively

The weak and dead

Those who are wisely



Fighting in their head

The battles lost and won

Those who think in streaks of red



And those who think

their time is done

Each thought in a link





Darker and darker

They sink into thoughts

Of self murder



Deeper and deeper they delve

Until they can no longer

Find themselves



Of this spiral

Some get tired

Others live

through this peril



Nobody likes the freaks

Even the thoughts

They prey on the weak



On us all they prey

Weak or strong

They're here to stay

 

[livinginafog]

Heres another poem for everyone about organized religion

The Hoarseness of Injustice

The crow caws

The raven croaks

at fatal flaws



Laughs ring out

With mocking

Jackdaws



A crescendo of hoarse voices

An omen of bad choices



Where Hell is both here and there

Where there isn't a thing as fair



Where the evil dwell with glee

And there is no hope to see



Where the destitute scream to be free

Where minds crumble with insanity



Where the sane are insane

And the insane are sane



This is the reality

Of today's humanity



This is the reality of the forgotten

Where the normal proceed with caution



Out of sight swept under the rug

By politicians oh so smug



Empty promises made with empty eyes

Not heeding to the desperate cries



Not heeding to the crisis

Of justice that's unrighteous





The innocent taken away

to homes That are not a nice stay



Why? Why? Does it have to be this way?

Where only we can pray



But God isn't here

There is still fear



It's a delusion God doesn't exist

It's just an illusion we missed



A psychotic person wrote a book

Created a religion and it took



To the extreme

For us to interpret what it means



The meaning is lost 'cause its been edited

So many times it should be discredited



For so many lies

Stephen Kings book got banned for a shooting



But it's ok if its the bible

cause it's just a misinterpretation

Just a misrepresentation of faith



Why does it have to be this way?



Just like they believe its not ok to be gay

It's not ok to be different

To not fit into the norms

They tell you you need help if you don't conform



It's only ok if you're

Catholic or Christian

Is there anything else i'm miss"in



Oh yeah, according to them

Paganism is Satanic

Say you're pagan it'll cause a panic



Its been thousand of years and they still think we are evil

Fuck

They are too blind to see though



The beauty of a witch

All they tend to do is bitch



I-
We may be different but that's that

We are stronger than ever and that's a fact



Its 2024 and the churches are still crying WITCH

Im sorry but get off your high horse you little bitch

 

[livinginafog]

Heres one about addiction

Dark Descent
Just one more drink

Quick enough before i blink



When everything comes crashing down

I sport a smile instead of a frown

One

More

Drink



Where i can numb my demons for awhile

Where i can actually smile



Where i can escape in peaceful bliss

Before i descend into a depressive abyss



Just

One

More

Drug

Enveloping me in a toxic hug



The pain of the needle temporary

Telling myself i'll quit eventually



Just

One

More

Puff

The coughing fits from smoking

What is this demon I have awoken?



What is this monster i have created

When will my demons be sated?



What if my family finds out?

Will I ever be able to forgive myself?



I'm not an attention seeker

Rather the opposite

i'm an escaper



An artist who copes through words

And drugs

Maybe after i'm gone i will be famous

A poet against all odds

I just have to be patient
Heres another poem context im speaking russian, german, spanish and arabic i might add to this poem later with some italian, Portuguese and maybe french Did i mention im still learning these at the same time sorry if my grammar is off


The Lament of a Pensive Polyglot
если я умру

ты будешь плакать



The haunt of a russian lullaby



все в конце концов умирают

The feeling of living is temporary



если я умру

ты будешь плакать



Locking intertwining

The count of the clock

rewinding



What is this hell that I'm finding

What business am i minding



Languages interact

with

my mind they contract



An illness a sickness

A feeling of emotional

Distress



Why is it that my poems aren't the best

At least they are better than the rest

если ты умрешь

я не заплачу



Arabic seemed fun

It'll work when im on the run



أتمنى أن يختفي الألم ولكن يبدو أنه سيبقى



They say its fine to cry

But that seems to be a lie

Lo siento mi amour

desearía no estar aquí más



The hell in my head is here

With a farewell i shed a tear

Ich wünschte, ich könnte Ihnen meine

Angst vor dem Bleiben zum Ausdruck bringen,

aber das Schlimmste daran ist, zu gehen



Stuck in the hell of my head

In a pit of existential dread



вы понятия не имеете, застряли в состоянии чистилища.

Я не рассказал тебе всю историю

 

[chicanocompost]

Receding, temporary flesh forms around me.
Flesh that is integral to me, yet encages me like a prison;
If only I could see outside of what I was meant to see.
I wish to frolic among tranquil meadows,
To breathe an unfamiliar air.
I wish to break away from every expectation,
To break away every piece of this flesh.

 

[livinginafog]

Heres a funny one for change about living with ADHD

Whizzing Whims

Note:

this poem is written by me but i used AI to get the stanzas in a more consistent flow

I feel bad for my boyfriend occasionally
Cause I talk constantly

With ideas by the trillion
And when I interrupt with an opinion

He has taken to letting me talk and get out what I have to say
Cause like a dementia patient the words don't often stay

We joke that I'm like a senile old lady
Even though I'm 17
But I'm bat shit crazy

A squirrel mind that gathers nuts
Along frenetic ruts

The ruts of a mind
Being so hard to find
They say that feeling is temporary
But
Experiences vary

An id-
Oh look SQUIRREL

What was I saying?
The idea didn't unfurl

Distractions from I wish to be free
But people just think I'm quirky

That's not the true meaning of ADHD
You never experienced a mind so fast
That your speechcar will crash

To the point of whizzing that you cannot talk
Or stutter and struggle
But to speak is futile

Because the words just don't come
The constant forgetting
Or the magic trick
Where you set something down
and poof its gone once you turn around

Or the constant anxiety from silence
Then they think you
For annoying when you try to
Fill it with talking

Or the constant need to get up and start walking

OH LOOK CUTE FLUFFY PUPPY

I read something the other day
About how my mind is three
Trains colliding on one track
And the conductors are yelling at each other to slow down
Cause they are all going to crash

And one minute you are doing math

SQUIRREL


The next you are doing trivia facts

Like did you know that giraffe hooves are the size of dinner plates?
And there we whizz away and with a smile we have to fake

Then there's the thoughts of seeing
Something and telling yourself with dialogue

NO DON'T PUT YOUR FINGER IN A PENCIL SHARPENER
But I want to
But it'll hurt

Haha

Normal people don't have that problem

SQUIRREL

I recently learned that people can't see things in their head
How boring!
Picture an apple
Can you see it in 3D?

You can't! strange really

I knoe that pen clicking

Or that foot tapping is annoying

But its one thing that makes my brain happy

ADHD isn't that bad but at the same time
But lighthouse vision is both a blessing and a curse

Sometimes I need to get something done but am focusing on something else
It's the worst

SometimesmymindspeedssofastIcan'tcatchspaces
Sometimes it whizzes to calmer places

It's awful if I get happy or over excited
Cause then my words stumble worse than a seasoned drunk

Then
I- I- I- Ca- ca- ca- FUDGESICLES
Can't. Get. My. Words. Out.

WAIT
don't go yet
I can unfocus my eyes on command

There are a ton of things that I can do
If only you would let me show you

Oh…

You're leaving?
That's fine with me

No, no, I'm used to it
It's my reality

Cause I have
A mind like Dory

A focus like a lighthouse

And the attention span of Olaf

Nobody likes the annoying ADHD
That's why I get so excited when people pay attention to me

I know it's just because my brain is wired differently
It's not an excuse just to say "I have ADHD"

Nor is it always a flag to wave proudly
It's simply my reality

I could get 90's in that class if i wanted

But i get a 65 cause it doesn't interest me

Wait.. what are you doing?
DON'T TOUCH THAT
Leave it alone
No I know it looks fluffy
It will HURT
DON'T GRAB THE CACTUS

Sorry about that anyway

It's not something to be used as a crutch
Actually I don't talk about it much

Didyouknowthatgeesehaveteethontheirtongues

ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE AND WE DON'T USE IT THAT WAY

But some excuses and forms of communication are here to stay

Such as

Sorry

I got distracted

Sorry

I can't focus on this and need to move to something else

Sorry

I'm zoning out from you talking
It's hard to find something interesting

But later I will think back on this conversation
And go through every relation

Of what I could have said differently or done
And have a full conversation with you
Long after that train of thought has run

My mind is like the problem of a cat with a glass
The impulse is a shattering glass
My job is to keep said cat from being an ass

 

[livinginafog]

Heres a commentary on high school

Shark Tank

High school chicks

Lead to snobby

And stupid dicks



Who have nothing better to do

Than to bully a kid

Who is less popular than you



Welcome to the shark tank

Where smaller fish get eaten

And the smell of BO and Axe is rank



Where if someone dies

They were now a best friend

From the popular to a carcass of flies

Even though in life they were ignored

To the end they become fake friends

And bullied till someone got bored



And now the popular descend

Like a vulturous swarm of

Attention whores



Welcome to the shark tank of life

Where everyone is filled with strife



The legal version of the Hunger Games

Where childhood friendships

Go up in flames



Where fear and reputation

Are your friends

Or they can make you social life end



Welcome to the Shark tank

Where the smell of BO and Axe is rank



Where the bathrooms smell

Of vapes and drugs the rope

Where the emo kid fell



And never got up

From the pressure of addiction being too much

Where girls cry from a breakup



And outcasts plan revenge

When will this cycle ever end

Addiction isn't something you can quench



Welcome to the Shark tank of life

Where every story is filled with strife



Where teachers either care or don't

Where bathrooms are great to promote



Mushrooms and drugs galore

For all the little drug whores

Why'd they start so young?

12 and buying a vape

Coughing with their scarred lungs



Now they're 15 and buying harder is the dream

Saving up money they scrape and scrounge

Why so young? With drugs they try to gleam



Let's focus on the bathroom

Where girls try to throw up

All the fat they think they consume



Where junkies go to get high

And occasionally OD and die



Where the smell of candy overpowers

And children trade cannabis flowers



Welcome to the Shark Tank of life

Where every story is filled with strife



BUT



The Shark tank will fade away

Forever it isn't here to stay



The Trauma stays

The fish either survive or die

The sharks learn that life

As they know it is a lie



They will not have it easy

And may fall into habits

And learn that life isn't breezy





Habits they thought the fish

Were bad for doing

But now they wish



That they had listened to the fish

And may have been better

Had they not spirits to squish

 

[LoiteringClouds]

When I wrote this poem I really wanted to die...

I'm sorry

My family and friends, I'm sorry.
But I suffer no more - don't worry.
Now I am in a far better place.
At last, I was given divine grace.


Hello, I'm the one who knows you well,
Who took you to the eternal coast.
Took your life in an attempt to save -
I'm sorry, myself - now in the grave.

But you had held on here for a while,
Making the best of your life, your fight.
And you even found something worthwhile -
Thank you, myself - for a small delight.

Then I found you in torturous woe.
So I decided to let you go.
Your puzzle of life got the last piece -
Goodbye, myself - rest in total peace.


Sorry and thank you, my dear friends,
Who are wise, and whose care never ends.
Even though you lived just in my brain*,
I love you - hope to see you again.

---

Then I thought...
"Do I want this poem to be my last one?

No."

Note: *my imaginary friends.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

String me along
Sing me a song
Tell me I'm wrong
Just not that strong
I don't belong
I won't be long
I'll die and begone.