anyone else feels like talking makes them worse?

[c4di]

whenever i talk to someone about my life and problems i feel horrible. it makes me really realise how bad and hopeless it is and it just reminds me of why i want to kill myself. i haven't ever talked to someone and felt better so i dont even know what it supposed to be like. anyone else feels like this?

 

[Surdfieldharvester]

Yes! I think it's also compounded by the other mental illnesses I have, when you try to collect the scattered, jumbled vectors all together it seems insurmountable.

 

[woodlandcreature]

yes, and honestly speaking to people about anything at all does this. makes me remember how inhuman i am. that i should never have existed

 

[58Alice85]

yeah it's depressing, especially if the other person is doing well and has all kinds of things going on in their life

 

[Macedonian1987]

yeah it's depressing, especially if the other person is doing well and has all kinds of things going on in their life

That's why I stopped talking to anyone about my depression and suicidality a long time ago. Talking about it is only making me feel worse.

 

[SteamaHorns]

It pretty much always made me feel worse because the person would in some way invalidate the things I was feeling. Usually the person, whether intentional or not, would cut my vent short and would stop me from talking about everything that was on my mind. It was either that or the person would just respond with some futile advice that I had heard countless times, usually in some way invalidating what I was feeling. Ironically I think what would help me most is if someone just genuinely acknowledged what I was feeling and saying without trying to change them, but that's inherently what we all do. Just need to find others who share your views I guess.

 

[huhokaythen]

it's honestly so awkward opening up to other people, i also feel bad for them because some may not know what to say or how to react. that's why i stopped talking about my life to people unless they're my psychiatrist/therapist!

 

[kasa]

Yeah. A few days ago, i had to talk to someone (not family) about an accident that happened to me (i didn't really have a choice). They kept saying things like, "That's all in the past. You need to think about the future. I've been through tough times too, everyone has it hard, but I didn't just sit around doing nothing like you." I mean, they're not wrong, and i know that… but it felt like they didn't understand me at all. It was awful. I'm scared going to a psychiatrist might be the same kind of thing, so I just… don't go lol

 

[Cauliflour]

Well usually I feel worse because now the person I'm talking to is calling me an idiot for being like this. "Talk to someone!" my ass. How about you get these people to mind their damn business instead?

And also I'm not even really like mentally ill at all. My actions are perfectly justified if people actually bothered to listen to me, but they don't. I'm just a teary eyed white girl really.

 

[Lycoris]

I think the worst part is that if you talk with someone who "doesnt get it" for any number of reasons theyre just going to give you the same tired advice they would give to anyone going through some minor trauma and either act like it should fix you immediately or you talk with someone who DOES get it and most of the time all they can offer is condolences or pity.

 

[kiwimochii]

I never tried to dump all my trauma and sadness on someone to know how it'll actually go but I think I have a pretty good picture on how it might. Since they all already talk over me when I'm telling them about my interests, i can already imagine how they'll act if i vent.
At this point in life I'm at a place where I don't want to do it with anyone, i just yearn for comfort. But well, for that ill have to ask for it or show that I'm struggling in someway probably and I'd rather just ctb than do that lol

 

[happy2die]

YES!! I talked to my roommate about my mental illnesses and she was HORRIFIED!! She then told me to either switch majors or take a gap sem to fix myself. Just made me panic more and realize that I really was just made to commit suicide LOL but I've come to terms with it and I feel so much at ease especially with all the great resources on this site
right I've stopped asking for help because it just makes me feel worse. half of the time I have to tell them how to respond right next time and that's way too much fucking work for me when I'm trying to be more relaxed

I never tried to dump all my trauma and sadness on someone to know how it'll actually go but I think I have a pretty good picture on how it might. Since they all already talk over me when I'm telling them about my interests, i can already imagine how they'll act if i vent.
At this point in life I'm at a place where I don't want to do it with anyone, i just yearn for comfort. But well, for that ill have to ask for it or show that I'm struggling in someway probably and I'd rather just ctb than do that l

 

[liquid jen]

Yeah it sucks. Part of it for me is my trust issues which make me second guess every single little thing I say to make sure whatever person doesn't know anything that could possibly be used against me. And then there's also the fact that "normies" (for lack of a better word) just cant seem to grasp half of what I try to get across. It only furthers whatever negative beliefs I hold towards myself and/or that person and drives me further into isolation. I go in and out of states where I say too much or don't talk at all. Also, no matter what I feel like I'm doing the other person an injustice by either leaving them in the dark or painting the picture too clear. If I give too much away I have to backpedal and it always makes me feel stupid.

I think the worst part is that if you talk with someone who "doesnt get it" for any number of reasons theyre just going to give you the same tired advice they would give to anyone

Yeah, like no "don't ctb, what about your family" does not fucking help when i actively feel like a detriment to them. This type of shit only furthers suicidal folks more.

 

[Lamentice]

Yes! Every time in the past I have spoken/vented to someone I feel extremely embarrassed afterward (with a delectable side of disappointment).