Anyone else feel like they’ll only be loved if they die

[AgathaChristieLover]

When I was younger, my mom and dad loved me, my teachers loved me, I had loads of friends, etc. Then my brother left for college. I've always been the golden child, and he was the one everyone hated. But when he left, my mom couldn't turn his anger on him anymore, so she turned it on me. I feel like my parents hate me now. They constantly berate me. I've also lost many friends due to reasons I don't know. But if I die, I fell like people will love me. I've went to a funeral before, it's nothing but love for the dead person there. If I die, my mom will love me

 

[3rdworldsadness]

No. People won't love me if I die and that's completely alright. I never truly loved someone and that's completely alright too. People didn't knew me before I came to existence I will leave just like that. And I'm sorry what happened to you. You should move on. I hope freedom and peace for you.

 

[Kokonoe]

yes. although, i think it will be temporary. sometimes i feel there is no one to miss me, and i think that's somewhat true. no one will truly miss me. but i like to imagine that my death would make some people care, even if only for a moment. and i want that. i want someone to love me, even if it's fleeting, even if i have to die for it to happen.

 

[MessyNonsense]

Seeking love from specific people, even if they're family, seems like a damn shame of a reason to throw your life away. I'm pro choice but if this is your reason, i'd urge you to think about how many people out there have yet to love you. Think about all the people living out there right now who aren't even aware yet how much they're going to love AgathaChristieLover when they meet you.

 

[hdead]

I feel like they will 'love' out of grief. I feel like my parents, close family and some friends will express their love for me to 'stroke eachothers cocks', so to speak. If there was any actual love before, either I didn't understand it or it was something different from what I expect to be love.

 

[MaggotMuncher202]

Absolutely. I'm ignored and pushed to the side by my family and friends. I feel like they'll only ever care about me or even think about me when I'm dead. Probs only for like a day but hey that means they finally acknowledged me!! :]

I've even been in a similar situation to you where my parents turned all their hate onto me when my fuckass sister got shipped away. Now they just don't even contact me at all. Not even to talk shit about me like they used to.

But thinking about it any new found love for you will turn into worse feelings on their part over time if you kill yourself. Like guilt and shame and shit. So don't do it just for love because you won't even be around to experience the change. Seems pointless realistically.

 

[LonelyPrince]

People take others for granted and only care about them once they are gone and can't no longer be with them. My family won't love me more than they've loved me while alive: they will just long for my presence again, despite being the source of my suffering.
I'm sorry you feel this way, it's lonely.