Venting Any other audhd people just avoid their interests?

[0kcomputer]

Didn't really know where else to put this and I feel like im alone on this, no matter how any other forums I look at.
I have a deep interest in Radiohead, think about them 24/7, listen to all the other projects, collected almost every vinyl, got photocards made of Thom that I carry everywhere, etc.
But I will make myself not watch videos or completely engage in my interest because I'm so scared of making myself happy and having things to talk about because I just never shut the fuck up!
I really don't want to become more passionate about it because I listen to their music 24/7 and it's already annoying, so I don't want to annoy anyone else more but me researching and getting excited and rambling. I just hate myself everytime I speak about my interests because I never shut up.

Does anyone else feel the same about their interests? Is it just me???

 

[relapse]

Also autistic and I get embarrassed when I realize I'm being too enthusiastic about something (music as well) the second I catch myself doing so I immediately tone it down. I try my very best to not talk about my interests to new people and while I know this might make me look boring as shit it's better for me than going in circles about the same thing for 2 hours because I can and will do that if not stopped lol. Don't wanna come off as too annoying

 

[dead-orchids]

i completely understand this - actively avoiding my special interests because I don't want to bother other people with my excitement about it. Anytime I do, I spend days getting so angry at myself for annoying people who obviously don't care. It's easier to just not enjoy anything and not get overexcited about anything.

 

[maneose]

i tend to avoid videos(like video essays or analysis) because i get anxious about what they might say, like if i disagree with it or it's wrong in my mind i get so upset i feels like i get sick. also it's hard for me to rewatch the source media, not really sure why, but i guess it's kind of like tainting the original experience and i get too emotional trying to watch it. i usually just stick with interacting with fanart and fanfic because of this lol and forget alot of things from the show because of this