So I took a hiatus from my everyday life for today. I think this was very good. It was the friend to whom I was invited a few days ago.
Usually I listen to so much news every single days. I did this my usual routine 3 p.m.
I bought a new game that a friend of mine really enjoys. We started playing together at 3 p.m. and talked with gamechat on our NIntendo Switch 2 consoles for more than 6 hours straight. We did this a lot when we were in school in our adolescence. And we talked about so much stuff. From serious to fun stuff. I am scared when I will live in poverty that I won't be able to spend time with my friends gaming and talking so freely.
My friends always warn me never report our conversations to Nintendo. We talk about very intimate stuff in the chat and they don't want that NIntendo staff listens to it. They emphasize this because when we were teenagers I always reported some of content on the Miiverse out of fun. Some friends of mine put a lot of effort into creating creative posts and out of trolling I reported some of their posts so often that their posts were deleted even though the content wasn't inappropriate. It was also so stupid that you basically could report content countless of times and that in many cases NIntendo even listened to it. This was so stupid from me.
We talked about so much things today. A lot about the things I post on here. But I can be more precise with my language and I can go more into details. (I don't need anonymizing). And I can be vulnerable in front of my friends. It felt sort of cathartic and relieving and I really needed that. It was one reason why I wanted to buy that game. I missed this experience so much. My friend cannot enjoy the game we usually played anymore. It feels good being able to be open about my insecurities and still being accepted by someone. I talked a lot about stuff that feels overwhelming to me. And sharing it with someone else feels like some weight is taken from my shoulders. I think this is a reason why I often cannot hide my suicidality in front of others. (my friends) Talking about my issues just feels too relieving. And I don't want to miss that experience. I always feel like I am a broken being that is morally corrupt. It feels good to talk with someone about traits I don't like about myself and still they tell me that they like me. And see me as valuable person with flaws just as other people. We also talked a lot about psychoanalysis my guilty pleasure with the AI chatbots. And I think my friend who really dislikes AI sort of had to admit that my thoughts about myself sounded sort of on point and very sophisticated.
Now I need to calm down. I realize my drive to express myself on here is lower because I could talk so openly with someone so close to me.
Usually I listen to so much news every single days. I did this my usual routine 3 p.m.
I bought a new game that a friend of mine really enjoys. We started playing together at 3 p.m. and talked with gamechat on our NIntendo Switch 2 consoles for more than 6 hours straight. We did this a lot when we were in school in our adolescence. And we talked about so much stuff. From serious to fun stuff. I am scared when I will live in poverty that I won't be able to spend time with my friends gaming and talking so freely.
My friends always warn me never report our conversations to Nintendo. We talk about very intimate stuff in the chat and they don't want that NIntendo staff listens to it. They emphasize this because when we were teenagers I always reported some of content on the Miiverse out of fun. Some friends of mine put a lot of effort into creating creative posts and out of trolling I reported some of their posts so often that their posts were deleted even though the content wasn't inappropriate. It was also so stupid that you basically could report content countless of times and that in many cases NIntendo even listened to it. This was so stupid from me.
We talked about so much things today. A lot about the things I post on here. But I can be more precise with my language and I can go more into details. (I don't need anonymizing). And I can be vulnerable in front of my friends. It felt sort of cathartic and relieving and I really needed that. It was one reason why I wanted to buy that game. I missed this experience so much. My friend cannot enjoy the game we usually played anymore. It feels good being able to be open about my insecurities and still being accepted by someone. I talked a lot about stuff that feels overwhelming to me. And sharing it with someone else feels like some weight is taken from my shoulders. I think this is a reason why I often cannot hide my suicidality in front of others. (my friends) Talking about my issues just feels too relieving. And I don't want to miss that experience. I always feel like I am a broken being that is morally corrupt. It feels good to talk with someone about traits I don't like about myself and still they tell me that they like me. And see me as valuable person with flaws just as other people. We also talked a lot about psychoanalysis my guilty pleasure with the AI chatbots. And I think my friend who really dislikes AI sort of had to admit that my thoughts about myself sounded sort of on point and very sophisticated.
Now I need to calm down. I realize my drive to express myself on here is lower because I could talk so openly with someone so close to me.
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