Venting Any other audhd people just avoid their interests?

[0kcomputer]

Didn't really know where else to put this and I feel like im alone on this, no matter how any other forums I look at.
I have a deep interest in Radiohead, think about them 24/7, listen to all the other projects, collected almost every vinyl, got photocards made of Thom that I carry everywhere, etc.
But I will make myself not watch videos or completely engage in my interest because I'm so scared of making myself happy and having things to talk about because I just never shut the fuck up!
I really don't want to become more passionate about it because I listen to their music 24/7 and it's already annoying, so I don't want to annoy anyone else more but me researching and getting excited and rambling. I just hate myself everytime I speak about my interests because I never shut up.

Does anyone else feel the same about their interests? Is it just me???

 

[relapse]

Also autistic and I get embarrassed when I realize I'm being too enthusiastic about something (music as well) the second I catch myself doing so I immediately tone it down. I try my very best to not talk about my interests to new people and while I know this might make me look boring as shit it's better for me than going in circles about the same thing for 2 hours because I can and will do that if not stopped lol. Don't wanna come off as too annoying

 

[dead-orchids]

i completely understand this - actively avoiding my special interests because I don't want to bother other people with my excitement about it. Anytime I do, I spend days getting so angry at myself for annoying people who obviously don't care. It's easier to just not enjoy anything and not get overexcited about anything.

 

[maneose]

i tend to avoid videos(like video essays or analysis) because i get anxious about what they might say, like if i disagree with it or it's wrong in my mind i get so upset i feels like i get sick. also it's hard for me to rewatch the source media, not really sure why, but i guess it's kind of like tainting the original experience and i get too emotional trying to watch it. i usually just stick with interacting with fanart and fanfic because of this lol and forget alot of things from the show because of this

 

[noname223]

I am probably autistic. Check the politics & philosophy subforum for an answer whether I avoid my special interests. Lol. I post there from time to time.

 

[Saturn_]

There's no difference between being an autist by yourself and being an autist in public/openly. "Hiding your power level" just discourages you from living life to the fullest and encourages you to bend over backwards to people who probably suck either way if they'd be annoyed by you gushing about Radiohead. Why do we as a society act like it's a bad thing for someone to be enthusiastic and passionate, for someone to have care and love for something in their life? Beats being a boring, nihilistic simpleton whose only hobby is scrolling, and who actually cares and complains about the non-problem that is "yapping."

Just be weird and happy. I probably look like a total autist when I go to Barnes & Noble and head towards the manga section. All I do is confirm suspicions and leave no room for surprise. People are probably like, of course! Of course that weirdo would go to the fucking manga section! They might think I'm weird and annoying, but it's not like I'd like them anyways, so I walk past them. Sometimes I find other cool weirdos who like the cool weird stuff that I do. Then I grab whatever volume I want and leave, and this is an approach I take to life in general. By doing this, I attract people who are cool and unjudgmental about harmless autistic crap like that and repel people I would hate and feel uncomfortable around anyways. Go watch all the Radiohead videos you want. Learn everything about them to the point you could tell me off the top of your head what Thom Yorke has for breakfast every morning. Deck yourself out in Radiohead drip and wear In Rainbows on your torso. Anyone you lose from embracing your passions was never worth keeping around to begin with. Never shut up and don't look back. Life sucks less when you don't force yourself to be miserable in the pursuit of conditional love. I became less miserable when I started to look at things this way. Sometimes, anxiety will only beget more anxiety in a self-perpetuating cycle. You'll be cringe, but you'll be free.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I am also cringe and therefore, free. I am an 31 year old man and I openly blast Sonic and Pokémon music during closing hours at work and nobody can stop me. Not Splatoon music though. I can't go that far. Also I don't officially have ADHD or Autism so there's that.

 

[menheraboy]

i get embarrased and if i talk about my interests too muhc, people get annoyed. so i just avoid it. and yeah i have both autism and adhd

 

[notrllycherub]

I think I can relate, I often just don't feel like engaging w my interests. It makes me really embarrased tbh, I obviously would like to be more knowledgeable abt things that I like. Anytime I start talking about my special interests, especially my characters, I get rlly embarrased. I often feel like I just annoy people and think that I don't have enough knowlege to talk about those topics, which only makes me feel even more dumb. I can't deal w the excitement by myself sometimes</3