TheSadGoose
maybe in another lifetime.
- Mar 9, 2023
- 13
i have bpd and i hate myself for it, even tho it's not my fault i have it.
i hate living like this and knowing that NOTHING can be done to cure it or help makes me even more depressed.
i hate being this way, it hurts knowing i hurt the people around me because of my disorder. nobody around me understands and they downplay it but bpd is ruining my life and i just can't live like this, it hurts too much and i'm tired of the pain.
i recently (like 3 weeks ago) broke up with my boyfriend of a year and it hurts so much. i loved him with all my heart but i loved him too much. that's the nasty part about bpd, you get obsessed, and i mean OBSESSED with someone and it doesn't only ruin your life but also theirs. i won't get into too much detail about bpd and my life because there is way too much to talk about when it comes to bpd.
but god, i hate this.
i just want someone to love me the way i love them. he said i would never be too much for him.. but he lied and i don't blame him but GOD i just want to feel loved, that's all i ever wanted. i didn't get affection, attention, love nor care as a child and now i crave it and look for validation from everyone around me. i want to feel loved but i'm scared nobody will be able to love me the way i want them to..
idk what i'm saying, this is probably stupid and doesn't make sense
i just want to be okay but at the same time i don't want to be okay, because if i'm not okay, people will stop caring about me :(
i hate living like this and knowing that NOTHING can be done to cure it or help makes me even more depressed.
i hate being this way, it hurts knowing i hurt the people around me because of my disorder. nobody around me understands and they downplay it but bpd is ruining my life and i just can't live like this, it hurts too much and i'm tired of the pain.
i recently (like 3 weeks ago) broke up with my boyfriend of a year and it hurts so much. i loved him with all my heart but i loved him too much. that's the nasty part about bpd, you get obsessed, and i mean OBSESSED with someone and it doesn't only ruin your life but also theirs. i won't get into too much detail about bpd and my life because there is way too much to talk about when it comes to bpd.
but god, i hate this.
i just want someone to love me the way i love them. he said i would never be too much for him.. but he lied and i don't blame him but GOD i just want to feel loved, that's all i ever wanted. i didn't get affection, attention, love nor care as a child and now i crave it and look for validation from everyone around me. i want to feel loved but i'm scared nobody will be able to love me the way i want them to..
idk what i'm saying, this is probably stupid and doesn't make sense
i just want to be okay but at the same time i don't want to be okay, because if i'm not okay, people will stop caring about me :(
