Discussion am i the only one who envy those that are dying?

[ecmnesia]

It might sound fucked up, but all around me there are people dying either on accidents or because of some disease, take covid or cancer for instance, i know lots of people who got it, some of them died and they all wished for life. Obviously i cannot talk about it with my pears, cause you know that's just creepy and mean, society unfortunately can't stand the fact that for some of us birth is a curse. I feel bad for envying these people, those that are dying on a hospital, cause they'd give anything to stick around, while i'd do the same to die. I keep fantasizing about dying in an accident, or being killed when reacting to a thief, or just some generic disease. I know many people who died for one of those reasons, still here i am, healthy, not even once got severely injured. Does anyone else experience this? Am I just messed up?

 

[Niirvana]

I understand you, the same thing happens to me, I would like to exchange places

 

[Lilacmoon]

Your feelings are very valid. I feel the same, often, but it is true that something like this is difficult to discuss normally... most people not here would not understand them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm the same, I just want an peaceful escape. Life has nothing more for me. Wanting death isn't an bad thing as its what we are destined for anyway.

 

[ecmnesia]

It's just that normal people values life more than i could ever understand, i dont know what is so special about it anyway. You can't even, at least not in western countries, from what I know, suggest that death is not a bad thing. People think themselves as special beings, as if the world and universe somehow see them as worthy and irrepleacble, but truth is, it's all temporary, it's meaningless, nothing more and nothing less. Idk, all those people who came before us, the majority is not even remembered, and even those who accomplished great things will eventually fade into time.

I respect their wishes to stay alive, but i wish they could respect mine as well. I'm sorry for those who couldnt stay here when that's what they wanted, still, i'd like to be them.

 

[Mr2005]

No I envy those that can still be saved

 

[foxdie]

This is completely normal for people in our situation. I feel the same. I'd bet you'd trade places with those that die but want life. That's empathy and can be seen in a good light. But yeah not exactly a topic we can bring up with normies. This is why SS is so great.

 

[TheQ22]

No, I know someone who is in a very bad way and all I can think is lucky bastard, if that were me I could just lie back and not have to do it myself.

 

[I screwed up too bad]

I feel horrible. I've seen friends and people I know die in their sleep. I think, I wish it was me. I feel awful about thinking that way.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I don't envy those who are dying. I've started that process myself and I've seen death up close in all it's slow miserable reality. No, it's often a horrific process. The fact that we all have to go through it doesn't change that.

 

[DyingAlf]

I feel the same.
would absolutely trade places with someone who is dying that wants to live....if only it was possible.

 

[nitroautnz]

Everyday i wish i was the one that gets in a deadly accident or get cancer, instead of others.

 

[ecmnesia]

I feel horrible. I've seen friends and people I know die in their sleep. I think, I wish it was me. I feel awful about thinking that way.

Obviously I'm not the best person out there to tell you this, but i think it's fine for you to feel this way. It's not that you wished for their deaths, i'm sure you'd want them to live, and that you would do anything within reach for them to be alive, it's not your fault that you feel the way you do, it's simply the way it is. I'd say you could be wrong if you wanted them to die, but thats not your point. You'd only be affecting your own life, and i believe you should be able to decide what to do with it, if it you want to end it.

No I envy those that can still be saved

why?

I don't envy those who are dying. I've started that process myself and I've seen death up close in all it's slow miserable reality. No, it's often a horrific process. The fact that we all have to go through it doesn't change that.

I understand your point of view. Maybe i'd change my mind if it happened to me, altough i doubt it. I'm sorry you had to experience this though.

 

[Homecoming]

those that are dying on a hospital

I envy those people who were infected by Coronavirus and die from it!

 

[MariV]

Everyday i wish i was the one that gets in a deadly accident or get cancer, instead of others.

i have cancer...its horrible. lets say a heart attack...much better. a friend of my mother died of a heart attack in his sleep without even noticing. "the death of the righteous"

 

[Meditation guide]

I envy those people who were infected by Coronavirus and die from it!

It's a horrible way to die.
But I do envy people who get shot to death by the cops. I envied that poor man with the cop kneeling on his neck. We saw it only took about 8 minutes. I look at tombstones and envy them that it's over.
Having your heart stop while you sleep is a blessing. I have a strong heart I found out. That won't happen to me.

I have twin curses of having more than one deadly disease but having a heart that won't stop no matter what.

What the heck, enough already, let's just die, give it up heart.

 

[Painless_end]

No I envy the dying too. I just have so many mental difficulties in adjusting to daily life that I cannot help but envy them.

 

[kitee80]

My feelings when I learn someone committed suicide is a mixture of envy and pride. Envy because I so desperately wish I could trade places and pride because I know how hard it is to CTB and the fact they managed to do it just shows an incredible strength.

 

[greebo6]

It might sound fucked up, but all around me there are people dying either on accidents or because of some disease, take covid or cancer for instance, i know lots of people who got it, some of them died and they all wished for life. Obviously i cannot talk about it with my pears, cause you know that's just creepy and mean, society unfortunately can't stand the fact that for some of us birth is a curse. I feel bad for envying these people, those that are dying on a hospital, cause they'd give anything to stick around, while i'd do the same to die. I keep fantasizing about dying in an accident, or being killed when reacting to a thief, or just some generic disease. I know many people who died for one of those reasons, still here i am, healthy, not even once got severely injured. Does anyone else experience this? Am I just messed up?

I know exactly what you mean. I can relate.

 

[Heart Shards]

The great paradox of life; those who want to live die, those that want to die live.

 

[TA55667788]

I see alot of death at my job and always feel the same way.

 

[Hyperbunny]

I see alot of death at my job and always feel the same way.

what dou do?