I envy people who don´t have to struggle to die

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I envy humans who don´t have to struggle to die.
I envy people who die young and fast.
I envy people who die quickly in accidents.
I envy those who live and die with dignity.
I envy those who have had the courage to die.
I envy those who have had the courage to leave their hell.
I envy those who can have euthanasia.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by pain.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by diseases.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by aiments.
I envy those who don´t have to suffer for years or decades.
I envy those who don´t have to die alone.
I envy people who have relatives who understand their pain.
I even envy people who get killed by someone else.
We all have to die at some point.
I hate myself for being a coward - that is why I chickened out.
But I am fighting against self-preservation.
I need a hitman.
But I have to do it myself - there is no other way.

 

[AkaRed]

I relate to this so so much, you're definitely not alone in these thoughts.

Especially the not being alone one.

I am outright bitter and jealous towards people who have people to surround them.

Because I don't have that.
And that means I'm going to die alone.

<3

 

[JaJu]

I also envy those already at rest and in peace. Really wish that could be me too. Trade my life for someone who died earlier who wanted to keep living.

 

[LunarCharm]

I relate heavily.
I feel selfish for feeling that way, but at the end of the day everyone is selfish.
I wish death was easier.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I envy them too. However, first of all, I will always envy those who were never born to begin with over the ones who have died. The ones who were never born to begin with are the fortunate ones as their total cumulative suffering throughout all eternity is... zero

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy those who permanently cease existing as well, I envy how they lack the ability to suffer in this cruel, meaningless existence. Only non-existence is desirable to me, it sounds so peaceful to simply not exist for all eternity, those who don't exist are the only fortunate ones to me.

 

[errorsinmypast]

Totally relate to your post.
Especially the part about those who have the courage to die.
I just think to myself get it done already. But it's just not black and white. Is it a higher plan already in play for us? I'd love to know.

Anyway, I feel ya, you're not alone with these thoughts

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I envy humans who don´t have to struggle to die.
I envy people who die young and fast.
I envy people who die quickly in accidents.
I envy those who live and die with dignity.
I envy those who have had the courage to die.
I envy those who have had the courage to leave their hell.
I envy those who can have euthanasia.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by pain.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by diseases.
I envy those who don´t have to be plauged by aiments.
I envy those who don´t have to suffer for years or decades.
I envy those who don´t have to die alone.
I envy people who have relatives who understand their pain.
I even envy people who get killed by someone else.
We all have to die at some point.
I hate myself for being a coward - that is why I chickened out.
But I am fighting against self-preservation.
I need a hitman.
But I have to do it myself - there is no other way.

They made a hitman for urself which is assisted suicide a crime precisely to keep us all in the prison .

I envy all who die instantly as from a shot to the head from a high velocity rifle or shotgun.

I don't envy any living sentient creature

I envy all who are not existing and those who were never born the most.

I hope I can get the courage to pull the trigger myself on my rifle and blow my skull apart. Just fear of flinching before the shot is stopping me.

Just think one slow pull of a trigger would undo this nightmarish imposition, the myriad catastrophes and tortures imposed on me all undone all problems solved forever , one trigger pull non-existence forever