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About SN and pain
Thread starternessBRBR2006
Start date
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I think you're reading way into me asking a simple question, which wasn't directed at you btw. No where in my messages implied judgement, remarks or scrutiny. I have also failed an attempt and have happily answered questions people on this forum are by nature curious about. I don't care if I'm a cautionary tale to others if it can give them perspective on what to do, not to do, to expect and not to expect.
That is the problem once again, as you missed it but im not surprised, I said nothing about it being directed at me but made reference to the fact that you asked me the same question just a few days ago, which is odd that you're here asking someone else the same question about what made it fail and you think using fail is just fine to ask, its interesting you mention your own attempts but would you be fine with it being questioned as a fail just because? Dont expect others to be just because you do ask.
That is the problem once again, as you missed it but im not surprised, I said nothing about it being directed at me but made reference to the fact that you asked me the same question just a few days ago, which is odd that you're here asking someone else the same question about what made it fail and you think using fail is just fine to ask, its interesting you mention your own attempts but would you be fine with it being questioned as a fail? Dont expect others to be just because you do ask.
Mate. I already corrected myself and said unsuccessful* I meant no offence by using the word 'fail'. It's how many people describe an unsuccessful attempt. And this conversation is starting to feel abit like keyboard warriour-ing. I don't know what you want from me. Sorry.
Can we please just chill? A lot of people were genuinely interested in the questions being asked about this method and I am really confused how this spiraled into an argument about syntax. All respect.
Reactions:
Mooncry, geepeedee, fightclub17 and 1 other person
Mate. I already corrected myself and said unsuccessful* I meant no offence by using the word 'fail'. It's how many people describe an unsuccessful attempt. And this conversation is starting to feel abit like keyboard warriour-ing. I don't know what you want from me. Sorry.
It may unintentionally demean the person's experience as though they failed themselves and its their fault even if no offense is particularly meant since people do compare and subject people to questions which do verge into some form of judgment. None of it is keyboard warrioring, im just making my point and responding in kind.
i took 2 g instead of 25. because i got too scared and tried to trick myself with "im not going to ctb today, ill just try a little". russian roulette, sort of. anything to make me take it
and thats why the process took much longer. my father came home from work, called an ambulance and they took me to the icu
so after my experience i think that 25 g is an overkill. next time i would take something like 10 g
Ok i am going to just ask questions before this becomes completely derailed, since I am attempting this in a few days and need information.
For those who have survived SN and mention the headache as the most pain, what would you describe that pain as in terms of scale and feeling? I've read a couple of threads that make it out to be unbearable, burning pain, others where it's really manageable until their SI kicked in. Just trying to figure out what I'm in for here. Also will you see your own skin turn blue if following protocol (around 25g) or will you pass out beforehand? I worry the turning blue will trigger heavy SI. Thank you to anyone who takes the time in answering my questions and all the best to you.
i took 2 g instead of 25. because i got too scared and tried to trick myself with "im not going to ctb today, ill just try a little". russian roulette, sort of. anything to make me take it
and thats why the process took much longer. my father came home from work, called an ambulance and they took me to the icu
so after my experience i think that 25 g is an overkill. next time i would take something like 10 g
Ok i am going to just ask questions before this becomes completely derailed, since I am attempting this in a few days and need information.
For those who have survived SN and mention the headache as the most pain, what would you describe that pain as in terms of scale and feeling? I've read a couple of threads that make it out to be unbearable, burning pain, others where it's really manageable until their SI kicked in. Just trying to figure out what I'm in for here. Also will you see your own skin turn blue if following protocol (around 25g) or will you pass out beforehand? I worry the turning blue will trigger heavy SI. Thank you to anyone who takes the time in answering my questions and all the best to you.
i dont actually remember that i felt headache. just dizziness and weakness. and also my fingers became cold and numb and it was very hard to use my phone. and i saw my nails turning blue. took a photo of my gray face too
i dont actually remember that i felt headache. just dizziness and weakness. and also my fingers became cold and numb and it was very hard to use my phone. and i saw my nails turning blue. took a photo of my gray face too
I attempted an overdose on a mix of antidepressants and hydroxyzine years ago as a teenager and saw my face turn that gray/paper white. I know exactly what you're talking about. Was hoping to hear I'd be out before then, but it looks like not. Thank you so much for answering my question. I sincerely hope you feel better.
yeah, its totally fine! like when the methemoglobinemia was cured, i had zero other problems. i was the healthiest patient in the icu, hahaha. like there were people with kidney failtures, with chemical burns of esophagus and stomach, etc... and me with zero health conditions, hahaha. well maybe only my memory got a little bit worse. otherwise - no consequences
I didn't avoid it. As soon as I ingested it, I regretted it massively, and there was nothing I could do. I just sat on the bathroom floor knowing I was going to die.
It feels like you handled it very well IMO. I'm just picturing me trying it here and I'd just run and scream for help or something like that. I hope I can work around this by drugging me with some strong and high sedative dosage before ingesting the thing.
It feels like you handled it very well IMO. I'm just picturing me trying it here and I'd just run and scream for help or something like that. I hope I can work around this by drugging me with some strong and high sedative dosage before ingesting the thing.
The thing is, I already had help there. I took sn in front of the police with an ambulance outside. But they took me to the hospital, and I had a cardiac arrest and was dead for 25 minutes until they got me back.
I attempted an overdose on a mix of antidepressants and hydroxyzine years ago as a teenager and saw my face turn that gray/paper white. I know exactly what you're talking about. Was hoping to hear I'd be out before then, but it looks like not. Thank you so much for answering my question. I sincerely hope you feel better.
yeah, you probably will see yourself turning gray and blue
thanks! im not feeling really great (well, im in this forum after all, haha), but a little bit better. at least im not planing to ctb. glad that my experience can help someone to decide, even a little bit
hope that you will feel beter and wont ctb. or if you will, the process wont be painful and scary
yeah, its totally fine! like when the methemoglobinemia was cured, i had zero other problems. i was the healthiest patient in the icu, hahaha. like there were people with kidney failtures, with chemical burns of esophagus and stomach, etc... and me with zero health conditions, hahaha. well maybe only my memory got a little bit worse. otherwise - no consequences
Hahaha that's hilarious and reassuring to know. My attempt has destroyed my body so the last thing I want is to damage it further. I would gladly take amnesia as that might actually be my cure lol just kidding. Is it longterm or shorterm memory that's worse?
Hahaha that's hilarious and reassuring to know. My attempt has destroyed my body so the last thing I want is to damage it further. I would gladly take amnesia as that might actually be my cure lol just kidding. Is it longterm or shorterm memory that's worse?
yeah, its so devastating, when, after surviving an attempt, a person is left with all their problems, plus health problems what did you tried to do with yourself? you dont have to answer ofc
i cant even say for sure, i always had kind of bad memory. i would say my long term memory got worse. and i have been told that by others. because its kinda even harder to remember some facts, i mean when they arent really significant. often occurs a situation, when someone tells me about our common experience (i mean some situation, which we have lived through together), and im like "wait, what? i dont remember that at all"
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