6 long years of work lost in a single moment

[Catching_the_bus]

6 years ago was the last time I took a blade to my skin... Tonight has been so unbearable to me that I have thrown 6 years of effort down the drain... But FUCK it felt so good to feel something... God how I missed that feeling.. that pain... That release... I should be upset about ruining 6 years of effort but for some reason I'm not... I feel more relaxed with every cut inflicted... I know I'm not gonna be able to stop but somehow that doesn't even matter to me... What the hell is wrong with me... Am I really that sick?

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry lose 6y know how one mmnt lose all, me one mmnt lose all life all dvlp all self. Sry life v cruel

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You should post in the Self Harm Thread. Probably get the attention of more people who can relate.

Self Harm Thread

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really see anything wrong with self harm, it's a personal decision whether to do it and while it's never been my thing I know that it can act as a coping mechanism for many other people. But anyway, best wishes.

 

[Catching_the_bus]

I don't really see anything wrong with self harm, it's a personal decision whether to do it and while it's never been my thing I know that it can act as a coping mechanism for many other people. But anyway, best wishes.

I agree with you but unfortunately my family is full of pro-lifers who will only attempt to make me feel bad about my scars... Not that I necessarily care about their opinion but hearing them complain about how much I am "ruining" my body fills me with an unbearable amount of rage

 

[trist]

i don't necessarily think you lost those six years, it's still a fact that you were able to go without self harm for that long. relapses are common, i've heard of others that also relapsed after years. i haven't gone as long without self harm as you did, but i relate to the feeling of not caring at all if you cut everyday or don't cut at all

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Your relapse has not negated the work you put in these past years. In terms of numbers your "streak" may have been reset but in practice you are not all the back where you were