M was found in his bedroom dead as a doornail, it was known that he suffered a heart condition. Later it was found that this ass had ingested enough SN, Seroquel, and THC gummies to kill at least three elephants. Obviously, the old boy was hoping that his suicide would look like a heart attack. (Many prescription pill bottles were found in his bedroom). It took a team of 6 undertakers working around the clock 3 days to wipe the smile off of his face. Some people were quite surprised that he had gone this route, feeling that he would pay the bills for his mooching little sister as he has for the last three years, that she has laid in bed and did nothing. It is believed, M had grown tired of being everyone's do boy, and being required to fix things for everyone in the universe because they were too damn dumb to fix things and pay their own bills by themselves. One theory was that his mentally ill nut case sister who had never been able to keep a job in her life and quit every damn job she ever had, contributed to his demise. Others felt that his bitch sister having run off his marine boyfriend twice had really caused the problem. There will be no formal service as M had requested cremation and instructed his mooching, bum ass, boyfriend runner, off, retard, sister, to pour half of his cremains into the toilet, flush twice and repeat the with the rest of his cremains. Anyone wishing to pay their respects should drink a beer, a shot of Baileys Irish Cream, Amaretto, or Drambuie, and listen to Ambrosia's "I keep holding on to yesterday." (A few THC gummies would also be a wonderful gesture). Love to all here!
