Discussion Would you rather die lonely or hated?

[Naked Weapon]

After a lifetime of attempts and ideation, I came to terms with the fact that death was the correct decision starting in November of last year, and gave myself until my birthday this year to do everything in my power to better myself before moving forward with my peaceful outcome. As this day gets closer, I'm starting to see the world through the lens of "goodbyes". When I speak to people, it's no longer an act of communication, but a closing of the final chapter. I want to scream out that I won't see these people again, but as someone who's been emotionally neglected their entire life, I know I will be scolded, called selfish, or told that I'm "killing them too".
As a warning, I have BPD; either outcome of this dilemma destroys me. I have reached a point, however, where I realise that it will be better for the people I love to force neglect upon myself by either separating from them or not telling them what will happen to me. It's soul-destroying, and while I am not looking for someone convince me to suffer further in life I wish I could have someone to hold my hand and tell me that they'll miss me and love me regardless . I feel like a child abandoned at a shopping mall, desperately wanting to be led home by the person I love.

I wanted to pose the question to you all: would you rather go out hated but understood or ignored but quietly?

 

[sserafim]

I'd rather go out ignored but quietly. I don't want to be hated by anyone. I guess I care too much about what other people think

 

[R_N]

I would say lonely because I don't want to live rent free in someones head and ruin their peace of mind. But if they are prone to caring so much they will probably have someone else in mind anyway.

It can't be helped. So maybe it is fine either way.

 

[mtoro998]

Lonely.

 

[Malaria]

Lonely. I have an intense fear of being hated, I can't handle being hated or rejected.

 

[Kurai]

I would die lonely, I already am anyways

 

[SmallKoy]

I'd rather go out ignored but quietly. I don't want to be hated by anyone. I guess I care too much about what other people think

I struggle a lot with a severe inferiority complex so this is basically my ideal situation as well. I'd much rather just stop existing and have nobody ever remember I was there in the first place.

 

[emptymiku]

id rather die hated so i can finally make people happy when they learn about my death

 

[lostinwoe]

lonely i dont want my body to be found id rather just disappear, i already ghosted everyone i know for 5 months anyways

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally want to die alone far away from people, if it was up to me I'd choose to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all. I just wish to peacefully cease existing and be forgotten about, it comforts me to think of this existence permanently disappearing into nothingness.

 

[Meteora]

I m both I guess.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

Everyone already hates me and wants me gone for who I am. Because of that, I will always stay lonely. I have no choice either way, I'll have to die with both.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Lonely. One person in the world will always hate me but, I think they're a narcissist. They were the reason I became suicidal in the first place so, the feeling's more mutual there.

Sadly though, I think however someone goes out, even if they thought they were doing the kindest thing- hiding themselves away from people (that's my tactic too by the way.) If it's suicide, I think there can still be an amount of anger there... Why didn't they trust me enough to tell me? I could have helped type of thing. Ultimately, we're putting grief on people long before they expected it. They could even feel guilt if they weren't in touch and people sometimes feel annoyed/angry when they are made to feel guilt or shame.

I still agree with you though. Distancing ourselves does seem kinder. So at least they can say to themselves- I truly had no clue things were that bad. Still, it's still the best of a bad situation really. I wish there was more we could do to lessen the impact. If suicide was at least talked about and accepted more, we could at least give people more warning.

 

[Gossamer]

I am hated, and I feel lonely quite a lot, unable to communicate or feel heard ; but I'd rather die alone, with no one to grieve.

 

[4am]

hated, i'd rather prefer my death to make someone happy, not to make someone grief

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Ignored but quietly.
There's a lot that goes into "understanding" someone, one constant of which is time.
You can be the best communicator in the world, however, the one thing you wouldn't be able to correctly predict is how the recipient understands you.
Besides, the way the world looks at CTB, chances are the combination would be hated and ignored.

 

[Unattainable666]

How about both?

 

[wondering&wandering]

I wanted to pose the question to you all: would you rather go out hated but understood or ignored but quietly?

I guess I don't really think the first choice exists. People hate what they don't understand. If you mean they heard me out and hated me, I wouldn't like that at all. They'd still, in a sense, be ignoring me because they wouldn't care trying to understand me. To understand me would not lead to hating me. Not saying it would lead to love, but perhaps a sort of empathetic understanding.

Although, I will say I want to be either loved or hated, and not ignored. I hope that helped answer your question.

Thanks for starting the conversation, and I wish you peace all the way up to your birthday! And feel free to pm me if you ever want to just vent or talk.

 

[tbroken]

Totally lonely, people don't even really hate you, they just fill their empty heads with random topics and hating a suicidal or speak about it, will just give them something to have fun about.

 

[Hunter2005]

Lonely

 

[spøgelse]

Hated
I already am
Im scared of being lonely

 

[InAgony]

Lonely. It's not good for the soul to be hated.

 

[MidnightCat]

It's a hard question to answer.

Ideally, I will just be forgotten even before ctbing...

But, since that is not as easy as it sounds... Lonely is the closer one.

I don't mind being hated, I just prefer to not waste time in people's minds.

 

[brokeandbroken]

After a lifetime of attempts and ideation, I came to terms with the fact that death was the correct decision starting in November of last year, and gave myself until my birthday this year to do everything in my power to better myself before moving forward with my peaceful outcome. As this day gets closer, I'm starting to see the world through the lens of "goodbyes". When I speak to people, it's no longer an act of communication, but a closing of the final chapter. I want to scream out that I won't see these people again, but as someone who's been emotionally neglected their entire life, I know I will be scolded, called selfish, or told that I'm "killing them too".
As a warning, I have BPD; either outcome of this dilemma destroys me. I have reached a point, however, where I realise that it will be better for the people I love to force neglect upon myself by either separating from them or not telling them what will happen to me. It's soul-destroying, and while I am not looking for someone convince me to suffer further in life I wish I could have someone to hold my hand and tell me that they'll miss me and love me regardless . I feel like a child abandoned at a shopping mall, desperately wanting to be led home by the person I love.

I wanted to pose the question to you all: would you rather go out hated but understood or ignored but quietly?

I've been lonely almost my entire life. Hated? I don't think anyone cares about me enough to truly hate me. If you are hated at least they care. I think ignored is worse.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Not really fussed as long as I die, however I think I'm already both.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Lonely. I've been invisible enough so I wish to be invisible one more time and die without anybody being near me

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I would rather die hated because I am already lonely. Loneliness is the worst feelings, especially if it's caused by a lack of support in your life. I maybe leave the house every 2 to 3 months so if I ever did CTB, I would be dying lonely.

So I'd rather be hated because that meant there were people in your life even at somepoint that you had a relation with. I feel it would be easier to pass then.

 

[Final_Choice]

I would rather die lonely, preferably completely forgotten by everyone as if I never existed, that way I know that my death will not have any negative effects on anyone.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Would just die. That would end all the suffering

 

[tuey32]

Hated. If I were lonely I'd feel like I missed out