Would you live stream your own ctb attempt?

[Prime]

Hey, you can do it if you become a ghost who can interact with this world physically.
Lol

 

[Prime]

Practising carotid compression is having its toll on my mind.


Lol

 

[zzz919]

I built my first website sometime around 2005 …… I did not know how to communicate with people in person …… So I tried to communicate with them on the internet using a website …… There was a problem, though …… Very few people were visiting the website …… I was slowly (very slowly) learning what drove traffic to websites …… However … I became angry as hell that I could not communicate with people in person or on the internet …… My anger eventually turned into deep depression …… I decided to kill myself (for about the thousandth time) …… And then I came up with a twisted idea …… What if I live streamed my own suicide? …… Several things went wrong …… (1) I didn't really have the courage to do it …… I thought I did …… But I didn't …… (2) In 2005, I did not know how to work with video on the internet …… It was alot more difficult to work with video in 2005 than it is now …… However … I made the announcement on my website that I was going to live stream my own suicide …… Before I actually figured all this stuff out …… The next morning …… I looked at my hit count meter …… I had gone from about 60 hits per day to several thousand …… I finally had an audience …… People were visiting my website …… One of my website visitors was the local police department …… The local police came to my apartment …… We had a long discussion about the website …… At the time … I was living in a very liberal college town in the United States …… I only got a warning to remove the content …… So I removed the website page about showing a video of my own suicide …… However … I finally had an audience …… This was the beginning of weezer919 …… And now I had another problem …… How could I keep this audience? …… I had to constantly come up with gimmicks that would keep my audience coming back …… Sometimes I would take a current event and give my audience a twisted but humorous article about it …… On several occasions … I started a fight with the Church of Satan (The original one founded by the brilliant philosopher Anton LaVey) …… They did Not like this …… I would Not recommend starting fights with the Church of Satan …… They have alot more muscle than you can see on the surface …… I began using alot of provocative imagery …… However …… The most important thing of all became the music I featured on the website …… I have a music degree …… I have recorded two multi-platinum selling artists (for which I got paid nothing) …… I love music …… I began publishing the lyrics to songs that I liked …… I included videos of the artists performing their music live …… Even though I had purchased an anonymous domain name …… Several people figured out who I was …… There were a few instances of people walking up to me on the street (or at the local university) and discussing my website with me …… There was even one guy who showed up at local concerts and bars pretending to be me …… He dressed up like me and even cut his hair like mine …… After a while … I got tired of it …… So I quit for a few years …… Anyway … The whole thing began with me threatening to commit suicide live on camera …… I would never do this in 2018 …… There is too much anger and hatred in the United States …… There is too much evil …… I do Not wish to spread more evil in the world …… People are hurting right now …… They need something to bring them together.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

I don't even like having my photo taken. This is a hard no.

 

[Roph]

No. I tried during a past attempt and then decided I wouldn't for any future attempts. The video would be taken down anyway.

 

[Anon1337]

Yes, as long as it doesn't hinder my chances. Anyone know any good live streaming sites?

 

[hunter_lewis]

Absolutely not! Just imagine someone watches it and calls the police-please, guys, use your common sense

 

[Anon1337]

Does anyone know any good streaming sites?

 

[Anon1337]

Absolutely not! Just imagine someone watches it and calls the police-please, guys, use your common sense

What about train?

 

[AndyCurious]

Is it possible to film one's own ctb and not stream it live? In other words, delay the broadcast of the ctb till after one is dead? If that is possible, I would definitely consider that. And why? My longing for immortality, for fame? Of course I would want to leave behind something more tangible in addition to filming my own ctb -- at least one published novel would be my preference. But the prospect of my ctb film intrigues me, strange to say...

Intrigues me too, but I am warped though..

 

[Mr2005]

Nope and I'm fucking disgusted by shit like this. Who'd want to watch it? Not anyone that cared about me that's for sure. I'm not dying to give scum something else to wank over

 

[Anon1337]

Nope and I'm fucking disgusted by shit like this. Who'd want to watch it? Not anyone that cared about me that's for sure. I'm not dying to give scum something else to wank over

It can be educational.

 

[Mr2005]

Sure

 

[hunter_lewis]

What about train?

what about it?
Do not jump in front of a train

 

[Maravillosa]

what about it?
Do not jump in front of a train

Once I thought I would jump in front of a train -- I wanted it to be at the end of the line at the end of the evening rush hour, so it would inconvenience as few passengers as possible. I did not think of how jumping in front of a train would affect the conductor. I am glad now that I could not go through with jumping in front of a train.

 

[AndyCurious]

Once I thought I would jump in front of a train -- I wanted it to be at the end of the line at the end of the evening rush hour, so it would inconvenience as few passengers as possible. I did not think of how jumping in front of a train would affect the conductor. I am glad now that I could not go through with jumping in front of a train.

Proud of you, as I would never be able to ruin the life to innocent people as passengers or the train driver...

 

[Wait-Bus]

What encourage people to live stream their own ctb attempt?

I am considering it. And probably prefer it

Not sure why, but that fits into my own inability to know why I want to CTB. It's just been there since I was a teenager
Maybe if I know people are watching - I won't chicken out. Maybe it's something else.

Ideally - an hour time delay would be perfect. Then its harder to be found out

But I prefer a secure server. I have heard twitch could do it but I don't understand the ins and outs of it -
If someone has the information or other ideas you can PM me.

As for it being in wide circulation, well - being dead has its advantages - you won't know/

Is it possible to film one's own ctb and not stream it live? In other words, delay the broadcast of the ctb till after one is dead? If that is possible, I would definitely consider that. And why? My longing for immortality, for fame? Of course I would want to leave behind something more tangible in addition to filming my own ctb -- at least one published novel would be my preference. But the prospect of my ctb film intrigues me, strange to say...

I would consider CTB streamed - like you - but would prefer a delayed broadcast.

 

[Wait-Bus]

I would only stream on a very long delay to avoid being found (which would require rolling my own setup), and I think it's very likely that either I would be found and the footage/device taken before I could remove it, or it wouldn't be disseminated far enough before it would be removed. Basically I would be praying to get liveleak mirrored before my own server went down. My only interest in streaming would be for informational purposes, and I have considered it. I think it might be better to have a private death and spare my family any more potential trauma though. Plus I'm not sure I want people seeing me like that.

edit: Also, I've suffered a substantial amount from weirdos on the internet. I think the informational value from observing my suicide would be limited compared to the value I would be giving the exact type of person I dislike the most.

I am with you on this one. I am considering a live stream with a long delay. Not sure why I want to do this, but I don't know why I choose to hang myself either other than a live stream seems to fit,

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Some members planned to do it but I guess it never happened. I would do it but considering my method is Nembutal, I don't think it's gonna be interesting enough to be honest. I'll sit on my bed, drink N, fall asleep. It would of course serve as direct evidence of my death and confirm the lethal effects of N. I don't think it's worth the effort.

@RainandSadness......you were lucky enough to get N, before the store closed?

 

[Wait-Bus]

What encourage people to live stream their own ctb attempt?

I'd be okay with a live stream of my exit.

Is it possible to film one's own ctb and not stream it live? In other words, delay the broadcast of the ctb till after one is dead? If that is possible, I would definitely consider that. And why? My longing for immortality, for fame? Of course I would want to leave behind something more tangible in addition to filming my own ctb -- at least one published novel would be my preference. But the prospect of my ctb film intrigues me, strange to say...

I am with you on this one - if I could live stream in a safe way - I'd be okay with it - and consider it

If I knew that I couldn't be found at all, then I would do it. The problem though is I wouldn't want anything linked back to SS or any other members.

I agree with you on that - I would never want SS or anyone associated with it to face legal issues because I live-streamed my exit.

... My only interest in streaming would be for informational purposes, and I have considered it.

If there was value to streaming or recording my exit for educational or informational purposes, it could be the thing that would push it over the edge and land fully into my plans. Ideas?

And to answer the general question, here are some of the assorted motives I think people have for streaming their suicides, few of which if any are mutually exclusive. Most of them are just the general reasons people want witnesses for anything.

• attention and loneliness - people are lonely at the end of their lives, can't have anyone with them but anonymous strangers or their online friends, maybe never felt like anyone paid attention to them in life, etc.
• wanting someone specific to see their death, whether the footage is sent directly to them or just gains notoriety
• exhibitionism (I separate this from wanting attention because it's distinctly different - the exhibitionist often wishes to demonstrate something as much as gain attention) - could be driven by sheer love of drama or anger or the intent to shock and disturb
• proving a point or drawing attention to one - people will tune in and listen for a bit, understand why that person died, the death will be more real to them, etc.
• cry for help - either want to be rescued or die if nobody will intervene
• curiosity about how people might react, whether they'll watch, do anything, try to talk the person out of it, etc.
• they view it as a momentous occasion in their life or even ceremonial - related, their suicide might be felt to be artistic or self-expression
• instructional, educational, informative etc. - there are suicide documentaries by right to die advocates in particular
• they want a record of their last moments of consciousness, or at least somebody to observe their thoughts, feelings, their last words, wishes, whether they were in pain, what death is like - maybe even want to reassure people it was peaceful and happy
• they believe actions and experiences have more meaning if witnessed and shared
• some personal fixation on streaming or social media or tv that hasn't been accomplished
• enjoy violent content and wish to create some of their own

I'd agree with the list - but I still think its a personal decision in the same way a CTB method is chosen. A lot of people who don't believe in choice in terms of suicide will use simiplar explainations to explain why someone wants to kill themselves. As long as its not shown to people who are not expecting to see sometime like that - then its okay.

Some members planned to do it but I guess it never happened. I would do it but considering my method is Nembutal, I don't think it's gonna be interesting enough to be honest. I'll sit on my bed, drink N, fall asleep. It would of course serve as direct evidence of my death and confirm the lethal effects of N. I don't think it's worth the effort.

I am considering a livestream and I'd like it to show direct evidence of an approach. Thank you for that comment.

I wouldn't do it, mainly due to the high risk of being stopped, police intervention, other goody-two shoes playing hero, etc. I would, however, sometimes wish that I could at least get some message across or even (so slightly) change the society (as unlikely as my death would do). Then again, I suppose the aftermath is moot as I wouldn't be around to witness it or react to it.

Would you do it if the risk could be lowered - its a big and legitimate question.

Sure

I like how straightforward you -are sure :) I am in favor if its as part of someone's CTB process as it will be with mine.

 

[NHLTradeRumor]

I would with a private youtube link, I have some people that I wanna give one last 'fuck you', and send a message to some others.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Not an attention seeker. So no.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

Not sure why, but that fits into my own inability to know why I want to CTB. It's just been there since I was a teenager
Maybe if I know people are watching - I won't chicken out. Maybe it's something else.

I've personally considered this as well tbh. Having a live audience would effectively serve as an additional safety net to ensure that one actually follows through and doesn't give into their survival instinct. Pussying out while live streaming would be incredibly humiliating, personally damaging, and guaranteed to get your ass a one-way ticket to an involuntary psychiatric committal.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

Yes, I would - and I am open to any serious invitation.

 

[Lavander 230]

If I stream it, how will I be able to see it once it's published? That makes no sense.

 

[Disaster]

If I stream it, how will I be able to see it once it's published? That makes no sense.

The original poster said "attempt", not streaming actually dying…

 

[lebrodude]

Would absolutely not do this.
I'd want it to be a very private event.

Don't want to end up an internet video, how embarassing.

 

[LittleJem]

If I could I would, so that people could see how the method works (if I can source the method)...
I've watched the hanging videos and they don't look that bad. I just worry about the person who needs to ID my body. And am still scared of hanging a bit, though I get tempted to do partial

 

[SpiderLink]

What encourage people to live stream their own ctb attempt?

Personally I think that's stupid to live stream ctb that's like live streaming a murder… I couldn't sit there and watch someone die, wether that's a suicide or not. It's too graphic.
Just imagine how someone could make that funny (I'm saying this with light hearted and joking) "and for my next magic trick I shall DIE!"

 

[scamper]

I would if I knew none of my friends or family would see, but that isn't really feasible, so no.