ZoloftSüchtig

ZoloftSüchtig

„We can olive together“
Apr 9, 2023
114
If you could go back in time and undo certain mistakes you made, would this improve your life and make you not want to cbt anymore? Or is your reason for why you want to cbt not even solvable through being able to go back in time and redo some stuff?
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,531
If I could go back in time and do a few certain things the other way I actually did I wouldn't be suicidal at all, my life would be just great.
 
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S

stage4johnny

Member
Jun 22, 2023
65
Yes I'd like to go back and do things differently. Yep.
 
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Griffith_NPD

Griffith_NPD

I plead of thee have --- S y m p a t h y for me
Jul 21, 2023
89
Even though my disorder + mental disabilities would stay the same. I would definitely no longer be Suicidal, I would be happy with my Love, that's all I need...
 
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Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,357
Yep that would fix everything.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,895
No, I know that I would always wish for non-existence no matter what happens, I don't really see anything desirable about existence at all, the ability to exist was just what I was unfortunately burdened with and I could never wish to decay from age in this world where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly, existence repulses me.
I would never want to go back in time, I only wish for permanent nothingness as that's only what is ideal, existing fills me with dread.
 
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W

who doesn't matter

Student
Jun 17, 2019
190
Unfortunately no. As one member once said, "the game was rigged from the start."
 
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Alltheywanted

Alltheywanted

Nobody knows what I see
Mar 6, 2023
331
For me, it's not about the mistakes that I've definitely made. I just hate living, I hate everything about this world and the society. Sometimes I'm disgusted by simply being a human. You know, it's so fcking hard to hold on this life knowing damn well that I'm just built this way. No mistakes made me like this. Everything is unnecessarily difficult, especially suicide itself.
 
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savoytruffle

savoytruffle

Student
Mar 31, 2022
197
i have no idea. most of what im dealing with is inside my faulty brain
 
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RichardFirst

RichardFirst

Specialist
Jan 16, 2021
383
In my case, yes. In truth, there is a single mistake that, if I could undo it, would at lease make life tolerable for me today. That said, if we're allowing time travel, I'd probably just go back to 1982 and slash the tiers on my grandfather's car so that he couldn't give my mom a ride to the disco where she met my dad. It would have saved her, him and me a whole lot of trouble in the long run....
 
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busybee

busybee

Experienced
Jul 5, 2023
208
If I could go back I would rather tell myself the lottery numbers and get a job I enjoy without worry for money. Then I would have way less ctb-reasons.
 
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NeedSomething

Member
Aug 2, 2023
10
No, it wouldn't. My life is amazing and it literally could not have gone any better. But that doesn't stop my thoughts of killing myself. I hate myself, I hate the way I think, the way I act, how im riddled with anxiety, how there is a voice that won't stop telling me to kill myself. Even if I had won the lottery, id still would of ended up in the same mental state I am now.
 
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boom.shaka.laka

boom.shaka.laka

nothing left to say
Aug 3, 2023
17
For me there's nothing other than my existence I could erase that would change anything. I've wanted to ctb for as long as I can remember. Nothing makes those constant thoughts and urges go away.
 
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Starry✧・゚Daze

Starry✧・゚Daze

Member
Aug 3, 2023
75
Part of me wants to hope and believe that it would have been better, yes.
I'd have to change my whole life tho, since so many really bad and f*cked up things happened over the years.
Much of what happened was completely out of my personal control, so idk.

It's hard to say if things would be better for me now, but I would have become a different version of me.
 
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Kikoo

Kikoo

Sing me to sleep ♡
Jun 12, 2023
165
Hell yes. That would fix a lot.
 
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ANONYMOUSM

ANONYMOUSM

Member
Aug 5, 2023
68
why wouldn't anybody
 
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enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
382
Knowing what to avoid, if I could go back just 20 years, I could fix so much to the point of not wanting to CTB.
I would do it in a heartbeat. (I'm 74)
 
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E

EndoftheTunnel3339

Member
Jul 21, 2023
15
No, the main problems making me want to ctb are external. I guess if i could go back in time and get myself aborted as a fetus, that would count as something I'd go back in time to do.
 
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annointed_towers

annointed_towers

Cursed by God
Dec 9, 2022
315
Yes. I cursed God in a moment of rage and He is now punishing me with the feeling of worms all over my body. I would go back and never curse Him.
 
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ChantDuCygne

ChantDuCygne

Member
Aug 23, 2023
31
Not in a single trip. Actually, there are things I could not have prevented even if I had known that they would happen. Even if I could change the past, there would be too many destinations on my list.
 
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MrSpaghetti

MrSpaghetti

Shoot me straight like whisky
Aug 22, 2023
19
Honestly don't know, the only memory I really have from a point in time where I didnt want to ctb is meeting my best friend and I was probably around 5 or so. I'd like to think that if certain things in my life played out differently, or If I didnt make as many mistakes then I'd be in a better spot mentally.
 
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A

Anon7b8

Experienced
Aug 21, 2023
246
It will probably just push my date a few years further than what it is now. Even if i change something just 16 years ago. At a different milestone down the line would still make me want to ctb. But probably with less regrets.
 
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ChantDuCygne

ChantDuCygne

Member
Aug 23, 2023
31
No, the main problems making me want to ctb are external. I guess if i could go back in time and get myself aborted as a fetus, that would count as something I'd go back in time to do.
I hadn't thought about that. A single trip that solves everything in a way that remains ethical.
 
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O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
336
I would still have my mental disorders but I would at least try to educate my younger self and get myself to game the stock market and become wealthy. At least I would be comfortable.
 
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caraphernelia

caraphernelia

what’s so good about picking up the pieces
Aug 24, 2023
31
My life would probably be better than it is today if I could go back and change some things but I think wanting to ctb is somewhat inevitable for me and changing things in my past would only push back the date a few years at most.
 
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CheekyPhobia

CheekyPhobia

Reasonless, well it stands to reason...
Aug 1, 2022
141
In large part yeah. Having to raise myself set me back a lot and it wouldnt hurt to go back knowing to invest in Bitcoin haha. But it would be so lonely, everyone you know would be dead essentially. Theyd still be there, in a younger form, but it wouldn't be the person you know. Perhaps there's a meditation on consciousness to be had there - I'm no longer the person I was a year ago and for all intents and purposes given that he now has no form, he's dead. So what's the harm in ending this form now? He'll be replaced in a year as well.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,852
No. I gave it my best shot. The decisions I made made sense at the time. Each time I left a job or moved- it was because I was unhappy. Simply staying put wouldn't have made me happier. I kind of wish I'd made the right decision with my first degree but who knows? I may not have got on the course at that stage. Either way, I would have struggled. The entire world would have to change for me to have a better chance! Really- being born a few decades ago would have been better for me but no- most of the shitty stuff that happened in my life I had no control over- deaths, suspected narcissist in childhood that I had no clue how to deal with, my particular job industry dying. Nah- I'd prefer to quit than restart somewhere.
 
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underscore_nine

underscore_nine

the sweet release
Feb 17, 2023
149
If you could go back in time and undo certain mistakes you made, would this improve your life and make you not want to cbt anymore? Or is your reason for why you want to cbt not even solvable through being able to go back in time and redo some stuff?
i don't think i could be fixed, just not being born would be ideal
 
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WeDontKnowTheFuture

WeDontKnowTheFuture

Student
Feb 3, 2023
154
There are things to change that could definitely make me less suicidal but certainly not happy or free from suicidal thoughts.
 
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