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EnnuiCat

EnnuiCat

Completely Catawampus
Nov 20, 2020
57
My cats would miss me until they found another warm lap to lay on. My family would miss me. My mother would be devastated even though she once told me the entire family was sick and tired of my behavior (aka depression). So I've learned since to lie and fake being normal (not always successfully). Arguments and emotional torment ensue whenever I let my guard down. I wish I didn't care who I'd hurt if I left tomorrow.
 
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madbananas

Wizard
Apr 29, 2020
620
Yes, in my case, people will care. I think everyone has at least one person who would.
But I feel for me that people only really care when it's too late. We live in a society where everyone is busy busy busy all the time (it's very unhealthy for the soul/spirit). And if we can't live up to that we are isolated and fall through the cracks.
So once it's announced to people that I am dead, yeah I reckon some (maybe even a lot) will be sad. But by the same token, no one is with me right now when I'm in unbearable emotional agony and completely alone. It amazes me how people are horrified when someone just abandons a dog which is in complete agony rather than takes said dog in or has it put down; yet will just leave humans to rot all the while preaching on social media about the importance of being with people who are suicidal.
 
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LooksAtMoonDog

LooksAtMoonDog

Too Long in the Wasteland
Nov 10, 2020
719
Just one friend and a couple cousins, I've pretty much pushed everyone away since I knew I'd CTB eventually. I'm sure it will be a good gossip topic among a few acquaintances who are basically worthless anyway.
 
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Mthom2

Student
Oct 19, 2020
155
My sister would care, but I think she might secretly be relieved once the initial grief calms. My son will be devastated. Though I think he knows it's coming. He often gets angry and tells me how much I've changed. My daughter will be hurt, but I'm not sure how much anymore. She has a new family now. I've never met my sperm donor aside from once, in infancy, when my mother took me to see him and he just said I wasn't his.

I have a friend I grew up with and we were very close years ago. She'll be shocked, but we don't talk much at all anymore either.
 
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Tired_Tired

Student
Nov 25, 2019
160
When you are dead, it's not your business.
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,541
I feel weird and guilty saying this, but I think so. I kind of lie to myself a lot when I'm really low, but the truth is I seem to have somehow made an impact on a lot of people without trying (family excluded). I don't think there's anything special about me, but other people seem to like and remember me based on little evidence why I'm worth it. Like... I've had cab drivers and nurses I barely remember from years ago be happy to see me again and say things that proved they really recalled previous interactions. I get the impression that more than I realize would be genuinely sad in some way. It makes me feel bad, because I guess I don't care about most people nearly as much and maybe that means I'm really a shitty person. But I spend a lot of time trying to be as "small" and unobtrusive in the world as possible, so it confuses me.
 
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HenryHobkins

Student
Nov 5, 2020
115
Yes, my family would. I dont know why i want to kill myself im im a super fortunate position
 
neitherherenorthere

neitherherenorthere

Experienced
Apr 22, 2020
223
I've been explicitly told that if I killed myself it would "destroy this family." I hate the idea of feeling like I have to stick around for the sake of other people and I'm not numb enough right now to completely stop caring about that sense of obligation. IMO people might be sad for a while, but ultimately will realize that they're all better off without me, so I have really mixed feelings about the whole thing.
 
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skinnystudent

Member
Dec 6, 2020
17
I think two of my friends would care but would understand since they both know I've been suicidal for a while now
 
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it's_all_a_game

it's_all_a_game

I remember...death in the afternoon...
Nov 7, 2020
356
Aside from my mom, nope. And my mom kinda hates me anyway.
 
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Harleyyy

Student
May 15, 2020
150
My family, it won't be fair to them but honestly i see no other way out. I am truly apologetic for whatever they will go through. I wish i could ease their pain somehow but no matter what i do, it will hurt. Other than that, i do have some friends but no one really is THAT close to me. But i guess losing people (especially to suicide) doesn't really bode well. I wish i could just erase myself from their memory. Life isn't easy for anyone, this is just going to cause everyone pain.
 
Floria

Floria

Member
Nov 5, 2020
34
My mother and my dad said to me that they would ctb after me... my best friend would be in pain and my "friends" would cry at my funeral, even if they did nothing to help me.
 
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Shahanshah

Ctb
Sep 27, 2020
91
I think only my family will care, a few friends will try to get in contact with me thru whatsapp but will later find out that I died.
I don't know about anyone but my family will definitely will care
 
setianism

setianism

Member
Sep 15, 2018
72
My parents would be devastated but they deserve it, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have ended here. I got some "friends" but they only talk to me when they need something so I doubt they'd even find out I'm dead
 
Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,526
Not likely. There might be the usual virtue-signalling comments about how it is a "tragic loss" and such, because that is what they say about everyone (and it is not true), but that is about it. It is doubtful that anyone will actually care since I do not have any true and close friends.
 
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woknows

Experienced
Dec 12, 2020
264
I think only my family will care, a few friends will try to get in contact with me thru whatsapp but will later find out that I died.

It depends from person to person, does it not? Maybe you are well known and liked or maybe no one really cares about you. I know some people would miss me. Would they be better off without me? Who knows.
 
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neverever

Member
Dec 10, 2020
77
Yes. But they would recover.

I feel that this is a supportive place where I can say this without being misunderstood: I have a wonderful family who loves me.

My mom and dad are educated, attentive, caring people who are proud of their four children and dream of enjoying our happiness and success over the years. YET I feel that I have confused and disappointed them so much over the years that they cannot fully love me, and that my existence interferes with their dreams for the happy future filled with grandchildren and good times. So they would certainly care and notice if I died, but they'd also be relieved.

Daily I have disturbing thoughts of how they would care SO MUCH MORE if any of my siblings died. What a horrible thing for me to think. Thanks for letting me write it here.
 
awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
Yes people will be sad, even devastated, but then life goes on. Gotta go pick up the drycleaning, go to the kids soccer game, etc. It will fuck up my kids for a while but then it will just be something that happened. We don't really matter.
 
Romeo

Romeo

Member
Sep 4, 2020
31
I don't have any friends or siblings so I think only my parents would care.
 
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Pravesh

Student
Oct 19, 2020
129
only my father, im 33 always was a loser never worked never drove never had a serious relationship, have a legit micropenis. he supported me and looks after me all my life i know i owe it to him to stay for his sake but i suffer alot in life.
 

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