Women?

[murphyy]

Of course on a thread made by a woman about the shit that specifically comes with being female, there go men with their usual "umm ackshually, men have it bad too" (as if someone's disputing that...)

 

[IWishToDie]

Sorry, TMI.

 

[SexyIncél]

Keep making the same mistakes and blaming ""'patriarchy'"". You've been misled by Marxist educators and social media nonsense. Nice guys finish absolutely dead last.

Well, in patriarchy, nice guys do finish last. Let's look at what it really means: "'patriarchy', after all, refers not primarily to the fact that men wield public office, but first and foremost to the authority of patriarchs, that is, male heads of household – an authority which then acts as a symbolic model for, and economic basis of, male power in other fields of social life."

Ok, so we've got CEOs & heads of state, ruling everything like it's their household. Lots of guys are screwed by this arrangement too; they're not heads of household, much less get to treat a company or city like their households. They're just considered unfit losers

So a thoughtful black feminist like bell hooks points out: "In patriarchal culture, males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an antipatriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved."

And she points out that women are complicit, like patriarchal moms. And misandrist activists: "Anti-male activists were no more eager than their sexist male counterparts to emphasize the system of patriarchy and the way it works. For to do so would have automatically exposed the notion that men were all-powerful and women powerless, that all men were oppressive and women always and only victims. By placing the blame for the perpetuation of sexism solely on men, these women could maintain their own allegiance to patriarchy, their own lust for power. They masked their longing to be dominators by taking on the mantle of victimhood."

The culture wars can end if people see how they're on the same side

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I think that both genders suffer. In slightly different ways perhaps.
But I get what you mean.
Being fourteen and suddenly getting cat called on the streets was shocking for me as I was still more of a child during that time.
I almost got raped when I was seventeen and the only reason why I didn't is because I had a pepper spray on me.
The biggest problem however might be how the medical system treats women. I am saying this as someone who suffered with chronic horrific bed bounding endometriosis pain for years without treatment.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I think that both genders suffer. In slightly different ways perhaps.
But I get what you mean.
Being fourteen and suddenly getting cat called on the streets was shocking for me as I was still more of a child during that time.
I almost got raped when I was seventeen and the only reason why I didn't is because I had a pepper spray on me.
The biggest problem however might be how the medical system treats women. I am saying this as someone who suffered with chronic horrific bed bounding endometriosis pain for years without treatment.

Some of you (women) receive too much attention, some of us (men) are always almost forever alone..

I'm sorry you almost got raped. I'm apprehensive about weird men walking around at nighttime, I can only imagine how you feel. It's good that you carry pepper spray with you, I hope you fuck up whoever ever tries to attack you.

Something weird is happening to me though, ever since I decided that I'm going to CTB, even though I'm still afraid of situations like these, at the same time I also wish I would get into one, I wish someone would attack me at nighttime, I just want to beat the shit out of some piece of junk. It's not that I crave violence, or maybe I do.. Ok, it's not that I'm looking for violence, I'm not, but I would welcome it.

I think the medical system is just bad in general.

One last thing, I also despise the patriarchy! Men are ruling the world and they are doing a shit job of it, I hate them! I wonder how women would do if they'd have the chance, I wouldn't mind if they would have a go at it.

 

[Kit1]

How your "boyfriend" rape you ? I think rape is committed by an unknown person.

I cannot believe that you even think like this. Do you seriously mean to say that if a "boyfriend" wants to have sex and the partner does not want to have sex, then the boyfriend can force himself on the partner. If sex or any form of sexual relationship is not consensual, then that is RAPE. We all have rights to.our personal bodies, personal space and personal privacy 100% of the time. NO ONE has the right to RAPE another human being or animal - RAPE is WRONG. It doesn't matter if that person is boyfriend, husband etc - RAPE is RAPE.

I've only just recently been speaking about it, I felt like it was all my fault for ages, so I tried to push it out of my mind … :/
I'm going to a rape crisis centre next week. Thank you, that means a lot to me
I agree. It's not fair they get to move on with their lives after sexually assaulting someone, while victims have to carry it forever.

Snoot, I appreciate that often as victims, we tend to blame ourselves. But please try and remember that it is NEVER your fault or the fault of anyone who has been raped. The blame belongs to the aggressor/rapist/paedophile/abuser at all times.

I am so glad that you are going to the Rape Crisis centre - I found them to be very supportive.

Good Luck with the healing journey. Best wishes.

I've only just recently been speaking about it, I felt like it was all my fault for ages, so I tried to push it out of my mind … :/
I'm going to a rape crisis centre next week. Thank you, that means a lot to me
I agree. It's not fair they get to move on with their lives after sexually assaulting someone, while victims have to carry it forever.

Snoot, I appreciate that often as victims, we tend to blame ourselves. But please try and remember that it is NEVER your fault or the fault of anyone who has been raped. The blame belongs to the aggressor/rapist/paedophile/abuser at all times.

I am so glad that you are going to the Rape Crisis centre - I found them to be very supportive.

Good Luck with the healing journey. Best wishes.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Some of you (women) receive too much attention, some of us (men) are always almost forever alone..

I'm sorry you almost got raped. I'm apprehensive about weird men walking around at nighttime, I can only imagine how you feel. It's good that you carry pepper spray with you, I hope you fuck up whoever ever tries to attack you.

Something weird is happening to me though, ever since I decided that I'm going to CTB, even though I'm still afraid of situations like these, at the same time I also wish I would get into one, I wish someone would attack me at nighttime, I just want to beat the shit out of some piece of junk. It's not that I crave violence, or maybe I do.. Ok, it's not that I'm looking for violence, I'm not, but I would welcome it.

I think the medical system is just bad in general.

One last thing, I also despise the patriarchy! Men are ruling the world and they are doing a shit job of it, I hate them! I wonder how women would do if they'd have the chance, I wouldn't mind if they would have a go at it.

I dont belive in patriarchy. If you look closer the elites are certain families ruling everything

 

[Kit1]

I am a female in her 40s. Once upon a time, I was born as a female baby. That baby was raped by men - other men also turned a blind eye to the paedophiles and what was happening. There were two women who were aware of at least one of the paedophile rings - though they themselves were not rapists. The two women who were aware were the wife of one of the paedophiles and her grandmother. She left her husband, but kept quiet about what she had witnessed as her grandmother advised her that if she spoke up, her pregnant granddaughter (who also had another child) might be treated badly by society. So the paedophiles continued to rape her - from at least the age of 2. Did not stop for years.

She escaped at the age of 14 and after that I was "safe" from rape - but was exploited as a underage teenager hiding from the police and social services as I was scared that they might also rape me, being homeless was still exploited, but free from rape. Then a few years later I was sexually assaulted, had at least three different men (two of them were shop keepers) trying to move on me whilst working and ended up getting an injunction on one person, another man used to follow me around etc.

I am okay now. Able to almost keep myself safe - but no guarantees.

It hurts. I am in my 40s and I still have flashbacks and nightmares, I dissociate and have suicidal ideation that one day, I will end my life most probably whilst in a dissociative state (though it could also be due to inability to access medical care). It hurts that I log on to this forum and we are discussing women's challenges and people sometimes want to talk about their own issues not relating to what the women want to talk about. It hurts that I have been violated repeatedly and I feel unsafe writting this wondering how many people here will jump to invalidate my pathetic existence and talk over me.

It is simple. I was a girl. I am now a woman. I want a safe space to be able to talk. Another woman started this chat why can't we just have this particular chat/space to say that it hurts without fear of victimisation. As I type this, I hear a little girl crying in the background - unfortunately it is a part of my trauma and that little girl can often be heard crying (and that little girl is me) and I have been trying to find a safe home for her throughout my entire life and I cannot dind her a safe home which is why one day, we will both end being dead because I can no longer carry the pain that was inflicted upon her by so many men.

Anyone who wants to judge me, vilify me, try to silence my voice with yours, try to start a comparison of sexes etc - that little girl and all the other women on this chat who just want a safe space to relate - I hope that you will have the compassion and humanity to give us this space. We have been hurt enough without having a war of words on here.

Thank you very much for reading to this point.

 

[Crinia99]

I relate but in the sense that i've always been judged as being less attractive than most other woman because I'm short, olive skinned and dark haired and there's really nothing special about me at all. My fair blonde friends where treated much better, given more opportunities and considered way more attractive than me and all found men to look after them financially and protect them, while I was left on the shelf and easily discarded. Society feeds from a young age that blondes are more attractive than ugly wicked brunettes who are always the witches in fairy tales. Its possibly not as bad now days as it was, but I'm not sure, plastic surgery helps if you can afford it. Then these women had the nerve to judge me and say they where lucky because they where always optimistic and happy, which was not true at all. I'm not saying that life is always easy for the more attractive ones, but it certainly helps a lot and I wish people would acknowledge this rather blame and put themselves on a pedestal as somehow being more worthy of a good life because they are "better people".

 

[SexyIncél]

If any of you have stories of people (or even you) that did something when you saw something, please please tell me so I can have them in mind when I need to calm tf down.

Hmm, didn't see this request at first, since it was at the bottom of the OP

Well yeah, basic morality means you gotta intervene when some guy's attacking underdog girls; the weaker the underdog, the more imperative to step in. Unwise to say details publicly, but the idea is to escalate until you succeed. You start at the minimum effective intervention, then move up to more violent threats as necessary. The basic rules of antagonism apply: attack where/when they're weakest & you're strongest

Depending on the situation, you can give them a chance to freely act morally. Then everyone sees you tried to be peaceful

But let's not use the term "good men"; reminds many of the Good Men Project, with their articles like "11 Ways I Forced My Woman to Cuck Me"

Are there any other women who's reasons to CTB are because of how the world treats us? With patriarchy (I can feel the eye-roll from a million people every time the word is uttered), our bodies seen as property with no soul inside, our existence and trauma invalidated by our own governments, and us constantly being harassed. Almost every woman has a fucking story of at LEAST harassment-- a large majority of us around the world have been assaulted, and others like me have been raped..... then we're blamed for someone else's evil actions--as victims. And to not be believed because the person has been so convincing to everyone, maybe even you, that they're a wonderful person.

I don't like to go anywhere without a man I trust with me, and even with almost any man there's that tiny bit of skepticism. For that, I'm so sorry to those of you that are truly good men, it's not you, it's the world. I don't hate normal men, I'm just on high alert around most of them, especially when I they're complete strangers.

No need to be sorry. You think we're monsters? Guess what patriarchy does to guys: all those monsters are now our competitors

Thus, we must often cultivate the monstrosity within. Or be torn apart

Many women are monsters too. They get knocked up & pop you out, in order to carve you up. When too cowardly & weak to risk upfront confrontations, they wear paint & illusions to hide their ugly, to slip past most of your defenses. Then they escalate the mind-attacks. (Or pressure men to attack each other like gladiators)

I also don't want to have this bloodlust for adult sexual predators--I want to kill them and do horrible things to their bodies beforehand. I know it's a fucked up thing to say and would be even more fucked up to do, so I won't. But it's fucked up that the world will do nothing to actually help.

Why's it a fucked up thing to say? Your mind's yours to simulate anything. And while violence has a high burden of justification — that burden can be met

Obviously, if someone's actually gonna go around doing such things, it's important to practice one's moral & intellectual virtues. To avoid falling into traps. For example, fake underdogs lie; so you put on your Investigator hat — to see which timeline you're really in