Venting Why just why

[distantutopia]

Hi, just giving a quick update. I'm still here and still alive. I don't feel sadness but I also don't feel happiness. I don't know what's going on with me rn but I feel numb.
It's not just numbness tho, I also feel….hatred. Hatred for myself. I've failed so many times bc my stupid instincts kick in. I'm so fucking tired I just want some peace ffs. Why is it so difficult to just…die!?!

 

[HeavensOpenDoor]

Because part of you doesn't want to die. Part of you is convinced to keep going hoping that situations change. Idk.

 

[distantutopia]

Because part of you doesn't want to die. Part of you is convinced to keep going hoping that situations change. Idk.

I want that part to shut up so so bad. I can't take it anymore. It's so freaking frustrating to be alive still.

 

[Pacosay]

I feel the same, I see how everything falls apart because of me and I just wonder why am I still here?

 

[distantutopia]

I feel the same, I see how everything falls apart because of me and I just wonder why am I still here?

I'm such a burden and I feel so fucking useless. I can't even ctb properly….