why is the average person so ok with coping?

[violetforever]

i know its because im suicidal and theyre somehow not but i just cant understand it. like theyre not even passively suicidal? a long time ago i saw something about living with a "tolerable level of permanent unhappiness" in relationships. i think it goes beyond only applying to relationships and extends to life in general.

everyone i know is like this. just coping in life with addictions to either shopping, drugs/alcohol, the internet/social media or uncontrolled lust. obviously theyre at least partially aware that this isnt good for them. theyre not happy, these arent happy lives. dont they ever get tired? im so tired of everything that it drives me insane. nothing is worth staying alive for. i cant believe people stay alive to scroll on their phones and get validation from strangers online, waste money on meaningless objects, damage and slowly kill themselves with substances or just literal momentary sexual pleasure. what the fuck is so great about any of that? the worst part is most of these coping methods destroy relationships between people or create enabling toxic ones.

if people like this were truly satisfied they wouldnt get upset or uncomfortable when you point out that their lives are actually not so great and theyre just distracting themselves. but you cant even blame them for it. the reality of life is so ugly. i hate it but at the same time i understand why people need coping. who am i to tell someone what to do or how to get by in life? i just hate this existence for myself and everyone.

 

[DeathWish3301]

 

[violetforever]

yeah i pretty much agree w all of that

 

[Pluto]

 

[Lucid7972]

I guess people are just dumb, to be honest, I take pride in suicidality, I see it as intellectually honest and brave, it needs reflection to examine our instincts and what appear to be obvious

 

[violetforever]

I guess people are just dumb, to be honest, I take pride in suicidality, I see it as intellectually honest and brave, it needs reflection to examine our instincts and what appear to be obvious

lol at the risk of sounding arrogant, i agree. not that it matters, living ignorantly or painfully aware are both unfavorable.

 

[witchcraft]

Probably lots of reasons, but to offer a guess, they aren't aware they're coping. For some people, denial comes after that. They see the abyss and avert their gaze.

Some may disagree but I've often said that I'd prefer that kind of blissful ignorance. Ideally, I'd prefer life to be worth living without copium, but that's asking too much.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The people I know of that are at least (seemingly) doing better have close families, some have children. I think it's maybe because they have others to worry about as well. Obviously, there's (or should be) more support there. More obligation too- to succeed. To at least look like you're ok maybe.

That said, I'm not sure being in a relationship would change my perspective. Partly why I wouldn't want to be- even if I had the chance. I quite enjoy not having to try to be stronger than I am.

It baffles me too though. I also don't know many people who are entirely happy. A lot are very disillusioned with life. So yeah- I can't figure out what it is they hold on to as being worth all the struggle and maintenance.

 

[paperbaghat]

Well over 50% of people are religious, so that could also be a reason. The world seems less chaotic and cruel when you believe it is all part of god's plan... people find comfort in faith I suppose. Also having strong social connections is known to lower the possibility of suicide.

No one is happy/fulfilled all of the time anyway, those moments are highlights in a person's life.

 

[micahjava]

i know its because im suicidal and theyre somehow not but i just cant understand it. like theyre not even passively suicidal? a long time ago i saw something about living with a "tolerable level of permanent unhappiness" in relationships. i think it goes beyond only applying to relationships and extends to life in general.

everyone i know is like this. just coping in life with addictions to either shopping, drugs/alcohol, the internet/social media or uncontrolled lust. obviously theyre at least partially aware that this isnt good for them. theyre not happy, these arent happy lives. dont they ever get tired? im so tired of everything that it drives me insane. nothing is worth staying alive for. i cant believe people stay alive to scroll on their phones and get validation from strangers online, waste money on meaningless objects, damage and slowly kill themselves with substances or just literal momentary sexual pleasure. what the fuck is so great about any of that? the worst part is most of these coping methods destroy relationships between people or create enabling toxic ones.

if people like this were truly satisfied they wouldnt get upset or uncomfortable when you point out that their lives are actually not so great and theyre just distracting themselves. but you cant even blame them for it. the reality of life is so ugly. i hate it but at the same time i understand why people need coping. who am i to tell someone what to do or how to get by in life? i just hate this existence for myself and everyone.

Most people are conformists and dont really think about things they havent been given permission to think about. Imo, it doesnt matter if their coping mechanisms work or not (they dont) because these people carry out their expectations like religious ritual.

You are more unique than them, which doesnt make you better or worse.

 

[MrHappyFace]

Work. People work their lives, their jobs, their relationships, and their interests.

 

[SatinSoul]

It is genuinely baffling to watch people navigate work, stress, or even just basic hygiene like brushing their teeth without it feeling like a massive hurdle. It really makes you wonder what they have that we don't.

I think it comes down to the fact that when you've had enough bad experiences, your mind starts to overcomplicate things as a defense mechanism. You aren't just doing a task; you're automatically calculating every possible way it could go wrong.

I think, for most people, just going to the post office is a quick errand. For me, it can feel like climbing a mountain because I'm already thinking about the traffic, the possibility of the staff being rude, my social battery dying mid-conversation, or just the weight of having to be seen and maybe even judged by strangers. It's exhausting.

I'm also really worried about where the world is heading lately. It feels like everything is being carved up into subscriptions and ads, and that constant mental noise from things like TikTok is just killing any chance of feeling content or finding joy in silence. It makes just existing feel so much more stressful and draining than it should be, and it's hard not to feel cynical when the world seems designed to keep us distracted and exhausted. There are ways to disconnect you to some degree from their consumerism but it feels harder to do each year. World seems to go crazy and being bombarded by headlines ain't helping.

 

[existentiallinguine]

I always just assumed most people had been through less shit and have a good support system. Most of the people I know who are seriously struggling don't have some core necessity, be that community, housing, or money. If you pair that with some terrible trauma, I feel like life can just run you over. I figured they're performing at this base level of "okay-ness" because they have those things. That doesn't mean they aren't miserable, but they're able to function.

 

[violetforever]

The people I know of that are at least (seemingly) doing better have close families, some have children. I think it's maybe because they have others to worry about as well. Obviously, there's (or should be) more support there. More obligation too- to succeed. To at least look like you're ok maybe.

Also having strong social connections is known to lower the possibility of suicide.

all of the people i know do have families, strong social connections or both and theyre still unhappy so i just dont know. it seems like nothing matters.

You are more unique than them, which doesnt make you better or worse.

its isolating to say the least.

It is genuinely baffling to watch people navigate work, stress, or even just basic hygiene like brushing their teeth without it feeling like a massive hurdle. It really makes you wonder what they have that we don't.

i cant even get out of bed this morning. im just laying here already crying at 9 am and feeling nauseous over living another day.

I'm also really worried about where the world is heading lately. It feels like everything is being carved up into subscriptions and ads, and that constant mental noise from things like TikTok is just killing any chance of feeling content or finding joy in silence. It makes just existing feel so much more stressful and draining than it should be, and it's hard not to feel cynical when the world seems designed to keep us distracted and exhausted. There are ways to disconnect you to some degree from their consumerism but it feels harder to do each year. World seems to go crazy and being bombarded by headlines ain't helping

lol i instantly felt sicker after reading this. its so true and disgusting i hate this world i want out.

That doesn't mean they aren't miserable, but they're able to function.

if merely functioning is all thats achievable in this life id rather go into a deep sleep forever.